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Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Astronomy, Current Affairs & The Economy, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on September 1, 2016
In just under 2 hrs from now, as I draft this, we will be subject to an annular solar eclipse. Those in Africa, who will see the full eclipse, will observe a ring of fire at its zenith. Alas, we are too far north, here in the UK, to even see a partial eclipse. BUT….
It seems to be a heavy duty and complex configuration of planets going to be activated, astrologically speaking. I won’t go into the astro details but the ‘planets’, asteroids and special-points-in-space involved, include…
- Sun/Helios – the revealer of truth who never judges but shines love and compassion
- Moon – the queen of your emotions and emotional journey in life
- Neptune – who influences the illusion [eg addictions, external (non-)reality] in your life so that you eventually discover truth(and is at his most powerful as he swims in Pisces)
- Saturn – the lord of karma and its timing
- The North Node of the lunar eclipse – influences your direction in life and brings to light things you know least about
- Uranus – the ‘Che Guevara’ of planets who can bring about rapid, unexpected change/revolution
- Eris – the goddess of strife
- Juno – the goddess of relationships
- Black Moon Lilith – the goddess of the high-most spiritual love and your innermost darkness at the same time
All but the last two have hard aspects to the Sun/Moon conjunction – which, in simple terms, means the possibility of conflict, tension, upset, strife, rebellion and revolution. BE WARY!!!
Now there ain’t a lot I want to say about what might or might not happen on a global level so I’ll stick to the advice I am trying to take heed of for myself, personally – and I’ve already had one run in!
- Don’t exert yourself so that you end up exacerbating any physical disability
- You may find yourself desirous to do something which the adolescent you wants to do (eg drink, smoke, gamble et al) but the mature you is saying “hold back”. Saturn is around to help you set boundaries and keep your focus on what’s best for you, specifically your physical and emotional self. But if you step outside these boundaries then Saturn might well return any transgressions, you make, back to you – only amplified.
- Watch your back, stay alert. Something or someone may sneak up on you and cause an upset. If you see it coming, stay cool.
- One or all the above may invoke a disconnection. This is not because of someone being right or wrong, it’s about people not being able to see others’ perceptions.
By standing back, staying cool by rising above the situation, you will see it for what it is. And you will be secure in the wisdom it brings – so that any decisions you make, as a result, are better informed. Avoid making a rash decision which is often Mars’ wont .
One love, stay cool
Paul C Burr
Facebook: Beowulf (>14,000 followers)
#mindfulness, abusive relationships, accountability, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, anger, astrology, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, fun, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, hurt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, spiritual, tarot, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior, words of wisdom
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Poetry, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Training & Development, Visions and Dreams on November 10, 2015
(The Foreword to my forthcoming booklet, The Threefold Death – Mindfulness: Wakening to the Law of Reversibility)
Image courtesy of interestingcreativedesigns
The Law of Reversibility
Situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state. The reverse holds true too; inducing that same emotional state will manifest those same events and people into your life.
Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, yet unseen, vibration. This is the paradox of duality. For ‘something’ to be present, ‘not-that-something’ also exists, at the same time. For example, when you ask someone to marry you, they may say, “yes” (success) or “no” (not-success). You know the shape of a building because the air around it is not-that-building.
So how can you apply this principle to life and death? Answer: it requires a fundamental reframe.
The opposite of death is not life, it is birth. Life is eternal.
Paraphrased from Eckhart Tolle
There is no such thing as death in the traditional sense of its definition. Upon death, the physical body returns to its constituent elements and consciousness leaves the body, unseen, reborn into the vibration it came from. Death and birth are coincidental. You give birth to new levels of consciousness in life by bringing death to, killing, those things that you allow to stop the birthing process. And…
You can only bring death to, or kill, that which you have power over (i.e. the properties of things you own or control): your personality, your feelings, your outlook – and how you perceive, and thus respond to, the information you amass through your five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste). You do not have control over the events and people in your life – but you always have control over how you respond to them.
Author’s extract from Defrag your Soul: If you perceive life negatively for a few hours, people will think you’re in a mood. If your negativity lasts a few weeks, others may think that you’re depressed. If your negativity sustains over a longer term, others will define you as someone with a negative personality – or of a negative character.
Your outlook in life shapes your responses to its peaks, middles (“Glass half full, half empty?”) and troughs. Your sustained responses, define your character – and thus your destiny…
All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character … (and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.
A deeper process of ‘personal alchemy’ is at work…
Strength of character comes not from a life of ease and tranquillity but from a life in which our hearts, minds and sometimes bodies are pitted against forces we do not understand.
Paraphrased from The Druid Plant Oracle, by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm
Change in your consciousness is only brought about by changing your character; ergo, changes (preceded by deaths) to certain aspects of your personality and feelings, which in turn are shaped by the framework of how you perceive the information you gather through your five senses. Life, at some level, is thus about opening, as Aldous Huxley so eloquently puts it, the doors of perception AND shaping your character accordingly and consciously.
As you open the doors, you waken to the framework of what-is and what-is-not, the principles of spirit and matter, the Laws of the Light, the framework of truth borne of justice, just-is. It requires focus, imagination, faith in yourself, and a cleansing of the mind.
“All whom I love I teach, but first confute,
Thus from their minds all errors to uproot.
For truth by biased minds is ne’er divined,
Therefore seek wisdom, but first cleanse the mind.”
(From Message to the Hierarchy of Selene, from The Restored New Testament: The Hellenic Fragments…, by James Morgan Pryse)
Otherwise you will not know clearly whether you will manifest what you want or its polar opposite, its duality…
The Paradox of Duality
To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.
Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.
My forthcoming booklet describes three fundamental deaths (or reframes) to aspects of personality, feelings and perception of what-is and what-is-not – or as the story of Merlin portrays, The Threefold Death.
These three reframes are fundamental to your wakening.
Paul C Burr
Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)
#mindfulness, abusive relationships, accountability, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, anger, astrology, Beowulf, Chakras, character, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, fear, forgiveness, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, hurt, issue, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magic, magician, metaphysical, mindfulness, oneness, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, shame, soul, spiral path, spiritual, spiritual science, tarot, tip, tip for the day, Truth, unconditional love, unconscious mind, warrior, words of wisdom
An extract from my forthcoming booklet (working title), The Threefold Death: the changes you make to approach inner wakefulness.
Of Spirit Force…
I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume, behind this force, the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter.
Max Planck, 1917
Image courtesy of Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestial Science
The future ‘dies’ when it meets the present – which ‘dies’ instantaneously into the past. There is plenty of evidence to prove what has happened in the past. Statisticians, economists and scientists gather evidence to project what will happen in the future. Despite all the evidence, the past no longer ‘is’ and future ‘is not’ yet present.
The only moment that truly ‘is’, is the present. Yet there is no evidence that the present tense exists – by this I mean, as close as scientists get to it, the present tense cannot be experienced through our five senses; it thus cannot be measured. What scientists measure instead is the before and after effects of ultra-micro interactions in time and space: for example, proton collisions, using the Hadron Collider in Switzerland. The Present Tense – which cannot be measured directly – is termed by scientists as a singularity point.
According to The Big Bang Theory, the universe started with such a singularity point. We can measure to within a zillionth of a second what happened after its inception, but we are not sure what banged – and the question of ‘why’, what-banged banged, transcends philosophical, religious, mystical, spiritual, and metaphysical domains.
The same holds true for black holes and dark matter. Scientists know of their existence because of the effect they have on things that can be observed and measured. Mathematical theory suggests that time and space collapse into nothing, a singularity point, at the centre of a black hole.
Time and space emanate from singularity points and ultimately return. And what fills that time and space (according to Planck and the ancients) is but a projection of the universal mind – of which you are an essential part. Through your mind you project thoughts, speak words and commit actions. And…
You are governed by The Laws of the Light and The Law of Consequences which, collectively, invoke dharma (Divine will) and karma (consequences).
The Laws of the Light:
When you commit to a journey, in line with your and others’ consciousness needs, at the right time and place, what you need will come your way.
The Law of Consequences:
What you project (do, say and think) out to the universe, returns to you amplified.
You attract, in/from the future, everything that is complete as well as incomplete in your approach to achieving your goals in life.
- Completion: When something within is complete; you do, say, think, and feel things borne of the heart – love, light, compassion, patience, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You will have The Laws of the Light with you.
- Incompletion: Unchecked, will invoke things you do, say and think not borne of the heart but instead borne of anger, shame, hurt, or fear.
I shall focus primarily on incompletions.
Should you learn and act appropriately from future’s gift (‘present’), you ‘complete your incompletion’. The incompletion unifies with its duality and thus is no longer perceivable by the mind. Zero projection by the mind means ‘it’ no longer exists in time and space. ‘It’, your completed incompletion, dies into the Present Tense, your true nature.
Should you ignore (or remain ignorant of) your incompletion, it travels unacknowledged into the past only to resurface again in (or back to) the future. Why? Because your mind is still projecting this incompletion through your thoughts, words and deeds.
The most common example, I know of, is the troublesome relationships that we invoke, time and time again. Relationships that keep repeating until we learn what we need to learn about ourselves and then ‘do’ something different in our approach. I have fallen foul of this as much as anyone I know.
Incompletions (recap: the inner things in me that attract the outer things I allow to make me feel angry, ashamed, hurt or fearful) keep being reborn in my life until I transcend to become my true nature – the love, light, truth and gnosis: the chokmah or wisdom of the I-am, the Je-suis, the Je-su(i)s within – as one of the standing stones in a circle at Stonehenge. This is my purpose in life.
Paul C Burr
Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)
#mindfulness, abusive relationships, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, anger, Beowulf, Chakras, consciousness, depression, druid, fear, hurt, law of attraction, Law of Reversibility, mindfulness, planck, Rosicrucian, sadness, science, shame, spiritual, the secret
An extract from my forthcoming book, How to Be a Friend of the Devil Within (Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 2 & Mindfulness Exercises in Relationships, No 2).
Author’s note – The scientific citations in this section are drawn from Zeitgeist Moving Forward by Peter Joseph – for me, a life changing movie.
I define addiction as any behaviour that is associated with craving, with temporary relief, and with long term negative consequences, along with an impairment of control over it so that the person wishes to give it up or promises to do so – but can’t follow through…. (Author: when speaking of) drugs… television… video games… work-aholism… power… wealth… oil…
Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society
One of the most crazy-making and yet widespread and potentially dangerous notions is: “Oh, that behaviour is genetic”.
Dr Robert Sapolsky, Professor of Neurological Sciences, Stanford University
No substance, no drug nor behaviour by itself is addictive… so the valid question is “What makes a person susceptible to being addictive to a particular substance or behaviour?”
(Paraphrased) Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society
I recently came across an article that substantiates the non-addictiveness of substances, in the case of heroin, in The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think, by Johan Currie, author of Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs (ref: The Huffington Post, 23/1/2015). Currie reports of a study that some 20% of soldiers serving in the Vietnam War became addicted to heroin. Upon returning home, some 95% of the addicted soldiers – according to the same study – simply stopped. Very few had ‘rehab’. The cause of the heroin addiction seemed to be the untenable environment of war. When the addicts returned to everyday life, the causation, for most of them, atrophied.
But what about the 5% whose addiction did not atrophy simply?
We have to look at the whole life experience… and that process begins in the womb.
For example, if you stress mothers during pregnancy, their children are more likely to have traits that predispose them to addictions…
(Paraphrased) Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society
The above scientifically-validated statements concur with…
The relationship we share with our mothers, from the ‘information’ they share through their blood (e.g. stress related hormones or agents from substances such as alcohol or tobacco) in the womb, through to the early years of childhood, shapes the relationship we have with our own physical bodies.
By considering addiction as a process of physical-self-abuse, you can perhaps see how ancient wisdom is concomitant with scientific study. People with unresolved, especially serious, issues with their mother are more likely to inflict abuse on their own physical bodies, through addictions or other forms of self-harm.
With specific regard to addiction, let us consider the words of Brené Brown. She advises that…
“You cannot numb yourself from hurt and fear without numbing yourself, at the same time, from joy and love.”
Through addictions, you cut yourself off from your awareness of the light and shadow within. And, in doing so, you effectively cut yourself off from your journey to love, your spiritual journey. Your life shall remain incomplete.
Fortunately, you have an inner entity to help you. His name is Set, the devil within. [Set etymologically became Saturn and Satan. We celebrate Sat(urns)day every week. See my book, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within, for further explanation.]
Author’s note – I have addictive traits to my personality but I have never considered myself to be addicted to a life threatening substance. I, thus, cannot speak ‘first-hand’ about tackling issues associated with alcoholism, drug addiction or other compulsions.
Friends of mine, who admit to being “addicts” or “users” in recovery, have successfully used the 12 Step Programme. Originally published by Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 Step Programme nowadays is recognised as de jure by many of the leading organisations (e.g. Narcotics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous) who help people to live a new and healthy lives, through new codes of behaviour.
References: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program, http://www.aa.org/, http://www.na.org/, http://www.oa.org/
Paul C Burr
#mindfulness, abusive relationships, addict, addiction, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, anger, Beowulf, character, compulsive. obsession, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, hurt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, mindfulness, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, shame, spiritual, tarot, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior, words of wisdom
Extract from The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love) and adapted, in part, from Druid wisdom (ref: Light and Life, a series of booklets written by David Loxley, Chief Druid, The Druid Order, London).
Your purpose is more than to succeed. It is to learn and apply the wisdom needed to succeed.
Success is the goal, but life is the time and space that happens in between now and reaching that goal. You attract the future that comes towards you. The future presents you with what remains incomplete right now in your life. The future presents the present with the opportunity to learn about yourself, (conscious and especially sub-conscious sources of anger, hurt, shame and fear) incomplete wisdom – AND apply the wisdom gleaned to release these ‘incompletions’ – completeness. Should you complete what is incomplete, it travels into the past and need not return.
The game of life was understood by the Egyptians in the time of the Ancient Kingdom (pre 3000BCE).
Whatever travels into the past that remains incomplete ‘returns to the future’. Whatever issues (i.e. unlearned or unapplied wisdom) that remain incomplete, be they business or personal, return again and again until you complete them. You know something is incomplete when you have allowed any residual anger, hurt, shame or fear to control your thoughts, deeds or words.
When you start something, complete it.
The Mystique to the Game of Life
In this earthly realm you cannot have anything without having ‘not-that-thing’ to compare it with. This is the nature of duality. For example, you cannot know what ‘wet’ is without knowing what not-wet, ‘dry’, is. Tall/short, wide/narrow, hot/cold, light/dark: anything you come up with has its dual. Some things are directly opposed as such with a continuum of gradualness between them, e.g. cold – warm – hot, negative – neutral – positive. Some things are binary: on/off, male/female, truth/illusion, love/fear.
As you journey through life, who teaches you love? How do you know what love is? You start with a definition of love given to you by your parents. From adolescence onwards you shape that definition through the relationships that come towards you (from the future).
If you listen, relationships tell you what you don’t love about yourself.
The future presents you with what is incomplete in your wisdom of love; the opportunity to discern love from not-love (fear). Whether you choose to learn – and more importantly apply – that wisdom, is up to you.
When you are presented with not-love in a relationship that is precious to you, in an indirect way, you are being given the opportunity to learn to love regardless of what the other person does: real love, unconditional love. The best example of unconditional love, I can think of, is the kind of love a grandparent can have for their grandchild.
Should you choose to apply not-love, i.e. you choose to ignore (not-learn) the wisdom of love, then the ‘opportunity to learn and apply love’ passes into past only to return to the future. You appreciate this when you notice that you attract a series of repeating patterns in relationship after relationship.
The next bit took me a wee while to figure out. It’s subtle. You may want to read it a few times because I didn’t get it first, second or even the third time around.
In the context of this book, let’s say that you’re in love with someone. You define success as having a long term loving and intimate relationship with that person. (Success can be any outcome you want in life by the way, e.g. a big house, a job, health, a sales victory, anything.) Alongside success, in the future, sits not-success (I am deliberately avoiding the f-word).
For example, if you’re going to ask someone to marry you, they may decline. If your outcome is to win a sales campaign, you may lose. The closer you get to the decision, the closer you get to success and not-success. Herein lies the mystique to the law of attraction, the law of reversibility and magic. In order to appreciate this mystique I need to explain life’s purpose. (See Appendix 1 for glossary of terms. You can read all about the aforementioned laws, magic and life’s purpose in my book, Defrag your Soul.)
Your purpose in life is to find, open, become and express your true nature, the ‘real you’, the hu-man (= light being) in you. Outcomes, goals and targets are, by comparison, external things in life that we set out to achieve that we feel will give us a sense of fulfilment or security.
Yet, for example, there is nothing intrinsically of value with money, diamonds or gold. We can’t do anything with these things unless there is common agreement that they are valued by others and can be used to barter for things we want.
Money doesn’t teach us per se about love or light. It does equip us to have a materially comfortable lifestyle but it doesn’t, of itself, do anything for us spiritually. Yet the journey to achieving money (or anything for that matter) is a spiritual journey because life (the future) will present (in every given moment, the present tense) you with what is incomplete in your life – people, events situations that reflect those ‘parts’ within you that stand in the way of you becoming your true nature. You manifest these ‘parts’ in the form of anger, hurt, shame and fear. When you define and go for future success in terms of love, money or wellbeing then not-love, not money, not-wellbeing exists in the future as well.
There is what seems a natural and logical tendency to avoid not-success and this is why and where you attract it.
Let’s get commercial for a paragraph. Take sales for example. Let’s say you’re in a competitive bid to win a sales campaign and the customer has objections, some of which might be hidden, to your proposal. If you attempt to deny the customer’s right to air their objections by ignoring them or arguing with the customer about the fallacy of their logic or perception, you undervalue your bid. If on the other hand you seek out any hidden objection but fear to handle it, (i.e. you fear to… reframe any misperceptions or resolve genuine problems with and counterbalance genuine drawbacks to your proposal) then you allow the objection to take control of the sales situation, i.e. you allow fear to control your actions and that fear can spread to the customer. If you allow fear to seize control, you can end up doing nothing, perhaps like ‘a rabbit caught in headlights’. Your sales proposal may thus be regarded as ‘incomplete’ in the value it offers.
Let’s cover wealth and not-wealth, i.e. poverty (something I was very fearful of for most of my life). Most people I meet fear poverty. When you seek wealth through actions borne of the fear of poverty, you may well succeed. You may earn a vast fortune and distance yourself materially from poverty; by more than you could expect to spend in a lifetime. Do you feel secure? You may well do. Have you released yourself from the fear of poverty? No: if by some chance you lost your fortune, the fear of poverty may well return.
Actions borne of fear, even when hugely successful, do not release that fear. They simply keep that fear in abeyance. The journey to your true nature remains incomplete.
Let’s get back to the relationship you want. If you apply and only apply love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness to your quest then you are on the right track to success. What do I mean by completeness?
Completeness means acknowledgement of any anger, hurt, shame and fear that the image of not-success presents you. If you attempt to avoid not-success through thoughts, deeds and words borne of anger, hurt, shame or fear; you are denying yourself the opportunity to release these negative emotions; they control you. But they are not the ‘real you’, they are a shadow that hides the ‘real you’ from you – and those who love you and whom you love.
Nor does it serve your life purpose to deny or banish these negative feelings. For you cannot ‘release’ what you do not acknowledge to possess.
Update: Just this last year I have discovered that negative feelings are not there for ‘releasing’ in the sense of ‘let-them-go-elsewhere’. Instead, release them into the void, the space above (and between) the mental and emotional worlds within you and below the supernal you. Instead of the word ‘release’, these days, I prefer to use the term, ‘integrate’.
To be explored in a future blog….
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, Egyptology, fear, Gnostic, guilt, karma, law of attraction, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior, words of wisdom
(This blog is an extract from a forthcoming book I’m writing with the working title, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within)
- Accept vulnerabilities: as necessary to the human condition. Avoid allowing them to dictate your actions. Avoid denying them. Learning from vulnerability is fundamental to knowing what being invulnerable means. That’s the paradox of duality – you know something is wet because you know it’s not not-wet, i.e. dry.
To understand invulnerability, allow yourself to ‘be ok being vulnerable’. As you learn more about vulnerability (defencelessness), you learn more about ‘not-vulnerabilty’, invulnerability.
Image courtesy of Cernonnos
Defencelessness becomes your strength – when you learn to apply its wisdom.
- Learn to be okay with uncertainty. For example, when you commit to a journey, you may not arrive at your intended destination. Likewise, when you allow yourself to fall in love, that love may be rejected or lost. Learn to avoid trying to control people to adhere to your will. Love is only achieved through choice and freedom and living with the uncertainty that choice and freedom imply. Put another way…
If you want to change something stop trying to control it.
- Self-love does not mean that you or life has to be perfect. You were designed to be incomplete. By all means strive to improve yourself or the life you lead AND ‘don’t beat yourself up for being imperfect’. You, your friends and acquaintances, your children and your enemies, none are perfect.
This is what researcher and storyteller, Brené Brown, says about raising children in a generation that has the highest rate of drug dependency, obesity and debt in history…
Our job is to say (to our children), “You know what? You are imperfect, you are wired to struggle – BUT you are worthy of love and belonging”. That’s our job. Show me a generation of children raised like that and we’ll end, I think, the problems we see today.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
Be clear about your intended outcomes and commit to the journey to achieve them. The outcomes will not necessarily be spiritual. Yet the journey to complete – that which is incomplete (incomplete self-worth, incomplete self-love and incomplete love) – is always spiritual.
Your True Nature Creates Love
Being okay with the three states: vulnerability, uncertainty and imperfection, means that you no longer hold yourself back with emotions (anger, shame, hurt and fear) that stop you from expressing your true nature. Not feeling angry, hurt, ashamed or fearful allows you to embrace these four disabling-emotions’ dualities (enabling-emotions):
1. Not-anger = compassion and patience
2. Not-shame = self-worth and faith-in-self
3. Not-hurt = joy and serenity
4. Not-fear = love.
Your true nature is to…
Create love, moment by moment, through a cocktail of compassion, patience, self worth, faith-in-self, completeness, serenity, and joy – with a twist of enthusiasm and will-power.
Shine on… & a Happy Winter Solstice!
Paul C Burr
#mindfulness, abusive relationships, accountability, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, anger, character, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, forgiveness, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, hurt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, leadership, life purpose, love, metaphysical, mindfulness, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, soul, spiral path, spiritual, spiritual science, tip, tip for the day, true nature, Truth, unconditional love, unconscious mind, words of wisdom
Extract from a self-help exercise in Part II of the newly published paperback version of For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It).
Personal change/alchemy applies a combination of four forces (which correlate to the four occultist elements of creation and four houses of the Tarot):
- Spiritual – Fire and Wands
- Emotional – Water and Cups
- Physical/Material – Earth and Pentacles or Disks
- Intellectual – Air and Swords
(In this extract I focus on the first aspect.)
1. Spiritual: (Fire/Wands)
- How important is it that you and your partner relate to one another spiritually? (Think of ‘spiritual’ as the highest level of consciousness or wakefulness a human can aspire to.)
- What sense of purpose do you want the relationship to hold for you? What do you want you and your partner to create together and individually – for what purpose?
- What image does this sense of purpose hold for you? [By ‘image’, I mean something that you can imagine quickly and mindfully – to keep your thoughts, intentions, actions and words in line with the purpose of the relationship – for example: a waltz, a pair of loaded guns, a yin-yang symbol where the inner female is present in the male, and the inner male is present in the female, two comedians, sugar and spice (and all things nice!), and so on.]
- What inner blocks [sources of anger, (toxic) shame, hurt or fear] do you want to release?
- What leaks (excessive and distractive habits that cause detriment to your livelihood) do you want to shore up?
- What inner qualities do you want to bring (more) to the surface and express in your behaviour? For example: love, passion, creativity, fun – loving, compassion, patience, self esteem, inner security, inner harmony, assertiveness, motivation, competence, curiosity, good manners, and eventually completeness!
- How will you demonstrate these inner qualities? What will you be doing differently or more of, individually or together?
Continued in the booklet…
Now available from Createspace and Amazon US & UK. Kindle versions now available from Amazon US, UK and other regions. epub/ipad/iphone, kindle and further electric versions available from Smashwords.
The above inner qualities should integrate with the emotional, physical and intellectual qualities you seek to share.
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Herein follows a short extract from For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach yourself To It)
We are encouraged in western convention to ask for forgiveness and forgive others ‘who trespass against us’.
Nothing is random. You attract everything that happens to you. (If you don’t subscribe to this notion then act as if it were true for now and practise self-forgiveness as prescribed below. You’ll find it self-empowering.) If ‘something untoward’ happens to you, you attracted it for a reason. If you’re going to forgive anyone, start by forgiving yourself for attracting that ‘something untoward’ into your life in the first place. Even when I understood this, I still got the wrong end of the stick for a while.
I used to say something like, “What I did was wrong. I’m due (or it’s) karmic retribution. In time I hope I can forgive myself.”
Here’s the question. Which part of me is to (self-) forgive which other part of me? Which part of me has the right? Which part of me has the desire? Not the heart, it doesn’t judge. Like the sun, the heart shines on all. If the heart doesn’t judge, the notion of forgiving myself for doing ‘something bad’ is non-existent, in the heart that is.
Conventional self-forgiveness (‘good’ forgiving ‘bad’) is nothing more than a head trip. It’s all in the mind. It’s perhaps a start in the right direction. You may wish to forgive yourself or someone else with good intention. But if your forgiving is borne of a moralistic judgement it’s not from the heart and thus fundamentally flawed.
Real forgiveness is ‘being’ as if the thing that which was untoward never occurred in the first place. Forgiveness is more than something you do; it’s who you are – in your thoughts, intentions, actions when you operate from the heart, from spirit.
That’s what being in the present, moment-by-moment, actualises: self-forgiveness, free from the past, free from fear, free to be who you really are, spirit in human form, light (hu-man means ‘light being’), love.
And when you are love, being love, guess what? You free yourself to choose.
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This is a combination of three extracts from my forthcoming book,
For The Love of Lilith
How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself To It)
Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 1, Parts I and II
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
You might start to experience feeling drained in the company of certain people whom you have known for some time. By and large, you’re used to spending extended periods of time with them. You may be doing or talking about ordinary day-to-day things with them. Yet for some reason their company starts to drain your energy. What’s happening?
Unbeknownst to you both, they are tapping into your chi and taking it for themselves. At a subconscious level they want your energy. Your wariness is not activated because you enjoy their company. After a period of time and for no apparent reason, you may experience an anxiety attack or feel tired. You don’t see it coming and they don’t know that they are depleting your life-force.
It occurred two or three times with each friendly vampire I know before I noticed what was happening. If you notice an ‘attack’ happening to you, find some activity, on your own, every 2-3 hours, to repair your energy levels, e.g. meditation, exercise or tai chi. And perhaps, see your friendly vamps less often until you are strong enough to withstand any attack.
Leaks feel like small ‘port holes’ in your body. I had a pair in my back, positioned roughly where my kidneys are. During and after a psychic attack, the ‘port holes’ were created by what, I imagined to be, a pair of teeth would feel like once they’ve sunk into your skin. I’ve also had another pair just below my cranium at the back of my skull.
I say “had” because my task was and yours is to…
Shore up the chi-leaks and clean up: cleanse and erase the port holes.
Here’s technique I came up with to help myself. It took me about six months to shore up the leak holes through which my friendly vamps drained my chi. If you use it I hope it will alleviate any discomfort and provide you with a wealth of intuitive information (like it did for me).
Self-help to Release Blocks, Shore Up Leaks and Erase Port Holes
In practical terms if you feel you may have been ‘attacked’ (You will anger, hurt, shame, fear or perhaps drained of energy), scan your body. Notice where you feel the negative emotion. For example, when hurt badly I feel a block in the centre of my chest, and when stressed I get a block about four inches higher, in the centre of my sternum.
1. Close your eyes and take two or three deep breaths. Regulate your breathing to a count of 4 on each inhalation and exhalation.
2. As you exhale, ‘breathe light’ into the affected part of your body through your Third Eye or Brow Centre, just above and between your eyebrows until some level of composure returns to you.
That upon which light shines becomes that light
3. The more you practise, the stronger your imagination, the quicker the time to releasing the negative emotion so that a sense of composure fills your body.
Composure is the ability to neither feed nor fight the most negative of emotions (anger, hurt, shame, and fear) when under duress.
Recite an affirmation to help you avoid feeding or fighting the negative emotion. For example, I recite the phrases…
I place the word ‘stillness’ in my mind.
I place the word ‘peace’ behind my heart.
I place the word ‘power’ in my abdomen.
… as I shine light on to the affected part of my body.
Allow any information stored in the affected area of your body to travel back up the ray of light. With patience you may receive insight into the nature of unconscious fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs you hold about yourself.
Once you receive such wisdom you have the opportunity to act on it. Notice, for example, where and how you over-react to situations. Make the linkages with lingering fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs.
You can place these issues into imaginary bubbles in front of you and shine light into the bubbles as well. Notice any changes in the appearance of the bubbles as you do this and any corresponding changes that go on in your body and mind.
(End of blog)
Please feedback your experience using the above technique over a period of time. Many thanks.
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Extracts from Quick Guide V: How to Apply Mindfulness to Business.
Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.
Allow me to add my own business related definition.
Mindfulness is responding in the present moment without reacting through anger, shame, hurt or (the most likely feeling) fear. Instead it’s about having faith-in-self to use your intuition to respond with passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, compassion, harmony, and timing to complete whatever is incomplete in your approach to business relationships.
If you are mindful of, moment by moment, you…
- Demonstrate faith-in self, passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, and compassion.
- Avoid both panicking and reacting out of anger, shame, hurt, and fear – instead, under-react.
- Create harmony and resonance to nurture The Master Mind.
A Master Mind may be created through the bringing together or blending, in a spirit of perfect harmony, of two or more minds. Out of this harmonious blending the chemistry of the mind creates a third mind which be appropriated and used by one or all of the individual minds.
from The Law of Success, Napoleon Hill
- Complete incompletions (when the future presents them to you and in the past you may have reacted negatively) to time.
Then, with these intentions, actions and qualities you apply…
You will induce everything that’s incomplete in your approach to your business relationship. This is the future’s gift to the present moment. You are given the opportunity to rise above anger, shame, hurt, and fear (borne of the past tense).
When you complete anything in your business approach that is incomplete, it travels into the past and need never return. If you react negatively, i.e. it remains incomplete, it travels into the past before returning to the future – so that you attract the same source of anger, shame, hurt, and fear once again.
The goals of nurturing healthy business relationships may be financial success and kudos but these things are not the purpose.
The real purpose of any relationship, business or otherwise, is the development of self (consciousness) to be the very best at what you do.
When you achieve the above, the goals and purpose become one. You cannot fail because there is no one better and you have no fear of not-success – because…
Genuinely having no fear tells you that not-success no longer exists.
There’s a corollary to this. To release your fear you need to approach not-success. Which is why I encourage you to…
Include not-success as well as success in what you want.
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A subset of an exercise, on building outcomes for a relationship, from my book…
Pick a relationship you’re in, business or personal…
Bring into focus how your relationship has been of late. Answer and write down the answers to the following questions and responses to instructions…
- Give yourself a score of 0 to 10, out of 10, for level of satisfaction with the relationship where 10 equates to 100% – “The relationship is exactly how I want it to be”, 5 equates to “Half and half” or “So so”, 0 equates to “Not at all” and so on.
- What has been your input to making the relationship how you want it to be?
- Give yourself a score of 0 to 10, out of 10, for your level of commitment to the relationship where 10 equates to 100%, 5 equates to 50%, 0 equates to nothing at all and so on.
- Track your level of commitment to the relationship on a weekly basis.
You raise your level of commitment by raising how much (energy) you give to and receive from the relationship materially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually – as long as what you give or receive is not borne of anger, hurt, shame or fear.
The relationship is in balance when you receive the same amount of ‘energy’ as you give.
The relationship gets to exactly where both parties want it to be when both rate their satisfaction with it as a ‘10’. A ‘10 all round’ is where both parties are fully committed to the relationship, they both give and receive 100% which means they are both 100% satisfied.
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Pre-reading to explain some of the terms used, see blog, The Game of Life
Client Case Study of Unrequited Love – Part 4 of 4; Vulnerabilities, Repeating Patterns, Frozen Trauma, Activating Event, Core Beliefs and Dysfunctional Assumptions
My client recognised the ‘cat and mouse’ nature of the repeating behavioural patterns in a relationship he had with “someone who loves me as a friend and no more”. He would attempt to remain mindful and stay courteously detached when in his partner’s company. He would laugh and joke with her but would not allow himself to get carried away and be overtly affectionate with her – which is what he wanted to do as a natural course of events. She would often hold his hand or touch his neck and shoulder. He would return that affection but only briefly. He feared he would lose his mindfulness and expose any vulnerabilities he held about himself.
After say an hour or so of this ‘cat and mouse’ game, his partner would catch him off guard. For example, she would sit next to him, place her hands between and squeeze his legs half way between his knees and genitalia and then direct his hand to the same position between her legs. She always held his hands firmly so she could direct them to parts of her body where she felt comfortable being touched. My client respected this but in that moment of physical tenderness, he lost his state of mindfulness and yearned that she would allow the touching to continue and become more intimate. But she would never allow that.
As soon as he allowed this state of yearning to arise, his partner would kiss him and hug him several times and leave quickly. He would then feel saddened by her departure. Sometimes that sadness would turn to anger, not towards his partner, but towards himself – for allowing himself to get “sucked into the situation of unrequited yearning” again.
Because of these continuing setbacks, he would question his own motives and whether he was conning himself or not that he really was practising mindfulness. He would question whether mindfulness itself was valid or just a psychologist/spiritualist fad that people have cottoned on to – like The Law of Attraction; of which he would think to himself, “Everybody’s buying books about it and doing it but I don’t see many people attracting the things they really want!”
My client knew his intentions were good and wanted only the best for both he and his partner. He kept going. He remembered to practise patience with and compassion for himself. He waited consciously for the wisdom of what was incomplete in him to arrive. And when it came, he realised that it could only arrive under duress. He would have to attract it wantonly and no-one could help him in this matter.
One night, his partner announced that she was fed up with her life and was going away to France for a week with a view to emigrating there as soon as she could. My client got very upset in the moment but kept his cool. After his partner had left, my client realised that he was still attached to the successful outcomes, he’d defined for the relationship, and that he had to let go of this attachment. He had to stop succumbing to his desires whilst still loving his partner and releasing the anger (the sign of an incompletion) that kept welling up in him. He realised that he’d lost touch with his purpose (the journey to completeness or love) for the relationship and become attached to its outcome instead.
As he ‘gazed’ at the repeating behavioural patterns, he saw the same fear of rejection in his partner that he saw in himself – and the many relationships before her that all had the same ‘cat and mouse’ pattern to them. He realised how he had attracted a series of relationships throughout his life that were all destined to end traumatically in rejection after a short while. It was as if he was seeking this trauma subliminally because of a subconscious programme running within him. (This type of repeating pattern is sometimes referred to as a frozen trauma; frozen in time; frozen in the past tense.)
My client sought the source of his repeating traumas. Under therapy, he went back to his childhood and kept going back in time until he reached the very beginning.
He was two months in the womb. His subconscious mind became alert to his mother not wanting a child. His mother was rejecting him before he had even been born. This was the source of his frozen trauma in time and he had been living out a reaction to this rejection all his life.
Inspired by druidic wisdom…
Life requires wholeness. The subconscious mind prompts the attraction of events and people who mirror what is incomplete within us. Some of us try to escape from this ‘requirement’ by…
1. Lapsing into a state of depression so that we won’t even want to get out bed in the morning to face life.
2. Building a psychological shield to protect ourselves from repeating a trauma, in this case ‘rejection’, i.e. we deny ourselves the facility to love and be loved wholly for fear of rejection.
3. Distracting ourselves from thinking about the incompleteness in our lives through drink, drugs, gambling, sex, mindless TV and the like.
The only alternative is to journey the road to wholeness, completeness, love. All other roads lead back this road eventually. In this, we have no choice.
My client could now see more clearly how his partner was acting out on his behalf the frozen trauma he first had with his mother. A trauma (incompleteness) that he still hadn’t resolved within himself. In seeing (becoming a seer) he had already taken a major step and readied himself to take the next one.
Together we sought the activating event by which my client started the relationship patterns that would reflect his frozen trauma in time. He was 13 years old and earned pocket money gardening. He attracted the attention of a 32 year old spinster with whom he entered into a sexual relationship that lasted for three years. He fulfilled his nascent adolescent desire for sex but, he also felt very guilty after every recreational encounter with the woman. He felt he “had sinned before God”.
Yet it was only now that he saw the subliminal reason for participating in underage sex. He felt that he could control the woman. He could say how, when and where they came together. And if she were to reject him, he held the threat of reporting her actions to the authorities.
My client saw how, following this activating event, he (even with what he thought was good intention) would use generosity to woo, or coldness to threaten, women to get what he wanted from their relationship and avoid rejection. And he had used both strategies on his existing partner to no avail. She refused him intimacy because she had her own holding patterns running. And yet my client and his partner both talked of the special connection between them and their love for one another.
My client had now taken a further step, under therapy, to unearth the wisdom of the incompleteness he was hiding from himself. As he sat in silence, I got my client to focus on where and how the prospect of releasing himself from his frozen trauma affected his physical body. He described the feeling of locked or trapped energy, as he pointed to the centre of his chest, half way up his sternum.
I got my client to shine light into the area and asked him what core beliefs (about self) did he see or hear that blocked the flow of energy (chi) through his body. He spoke of four things: two core beliefs and two dysfunctional assumptions (about others) with which he allowed to hold himself back…
1. All relationships and agreements break eventually (dysfunctional assumption).
2. I am unworthy of a lasting relationship (core belief).
3. Women are out to hurt me (dysfunctional assumption).
4. I must have the power to be able to hurt them first. With this power I can threaten or control them (core belief).
I reminded my client that…
A belief is merely a thought that we hold true for a long time. It is no more true or false than any other thought. A thought is not a fact and, as Eckhart Toll reminds us, “You are not your thoughts”.
My client now had all the information he needed at his disposal to avoid him getting “sucked in” to the same old behavioural patterns he’d been subjecting himself to. Was this ‘game over?’ No. He still had to do the work mindfully to avoid reacting to his partner’s ‘cat and mouse’ behaviours. Instead he determined to show her love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and continue to work on his own completeness.
His partner still had her own holding patterns to work on but it was not within his power or right to change her. It was within his power to change himself only, i.e. change the relationship to the relationship he had with his partner. And by replacing ‘reaction’ with ‘action’, he was prepared to trust himself, the process of mindfulness and his journey to love, regardless of whether that love was requited or not.
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…Something created out of nothing, the nothingness created from having no fear. When you release all your fear, all that remains is joy and wellbeing. Can there be anything more magical to life than feeling 100% well and happy?
Extract from a forthcoming booklet, currently 3rd in my pipeline (working title), How to Concoct Love in your Life, the first in a series of Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom.
Image from http://wallpapersa.blogspot.co.uk/
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Love is Not-love Until…
I have mustered the elements in vain.
With swords, wands and wealth,
I hold out the chalice of love to seal our bond.
Yet I cannot enchant your will,
To drink its golden promise.
Time after time, we kiss, we embrace, we fear, we part.
Later, we come together again.
Drawn like moths to the flames in one another’s hearts;
Again we kiss, we embrace, we fear…
The dark, a void between us, too great to span.
I’ve stood close to its edge, too fearful to jump,
Into the shadows where lies a monster,
Borne from an age gone by.
Resurrected within us, through childhood memories,
Too dark to look back, too hurtful to recall.
The monster, from Past, feeds on our fears.
Our karmic pact to slay the beast remains incomplete.
And so the monster returns to Future
Which presents itself to us now.
My soul cries “enough!”
I choose to descend the depths where my light shines dimly.
I hope you’ll join me but I, resolved,
Commit to love you regardless.
I have wanted you, as I have wanted no other.
I have attracted you as I have attracted no other
I have repelled you, as I have repelled no other.
I love you, as I have loved no other.
You love me, as you have loved no other.
We cannot be as one until the beast is slain
In the smoke below the beast takes form.
In its gut burns anger.
Its throat chokes with fear.
In its head hangs shame
And in its heart festers hurt, a wound that will not heal.
I approach with sword and shield
And beast is gone.
Again… and it is gone.
Again… and it is gone.
I wait silently.
Out of the black appears a face, familiar.
I lay down my weapons of convention.
The bellows part to reveal a mirror.
Before me stands Past;
A heavy yolk I have carried all my life.
Childhood grief pierces my heart.
As I lift the yolk to bear its weight,
All conflict unresolved wounds my body.
My mind panics. I want to cast off my mantle
And run away, like so many times before.
Yet I remain still and empty my mind.
I create a circle of light to protect me
And look to the Light within.
I see through Past’s deception;
To rob me of golden Future now,
The present moment eternal.
I stand on the shoreline of unconsciousness
I hear voices but no words of wisdom
I see with no eyes
I feel without touch.
The Light fills my body
The anger calms
The hurt heals
The shame lifts
I shine the light…
Towards the dark door to Future.
At which I hear ‘the knock’.
I am tempted to flee again,
Back from whence I came, to Past,
Who beckons me to turn back from what Future offers.
Whilst my innermost fear locks the door tight.
Instead I choose courage.
To become fearless; I turn the lock
To greet the stranger without.
Before me stands an angel.
I bid her welcome.
She dines with me and I with her as…
She reveals the illusion of my fear.
I see all that remains incomplete
Core beliefs I allow to deceive myself
False assumptions that ward off love, not danger.
I feel a fool, pathetic, as the angel speaks.
“Acknowledge that Future reveals all that you do not love about yourself,
Given to it by Past.
Yet Future’s other gift is Present.
The gift to complete all that is incomplete.
Love is complete. All that is not complete, incomplete, is not Love.
Present is now. All that is not now is not present. It is illusion. It is not.
And yet you allow what is not to determine your path.
Instead choose what you want, ‘success’. Future will bring it to you after you have completed the incomplete; release the fears by which you shield yourself from ‘not-success’.)
Venture towards ‘success’ and ‘not-success’ together. Bid Future to bring you your fears. The Journey to Love requires that you release them.
Then let go of success and not-success; focus only on the Journey.
Practise love, self-love first and thence for all.
Practise compassion, self-compassion first and thence for all.
Practise patience, first with self then others
Practise completeness, by releasing all fear from self.
As your fear of ‘not-success’ dispels then Future presents no more fear.
Not-success disappears, leaving only ‘success’.
You create success out of the nothingness of no fear.
This is how the Ancients practised magic.
A warrior is brave, fearless, prepared for battle.
A magician is wise, fearlessness, sees through the illusion of fears past; no need for bravery anymore.
Your purpose is to shine the Love; the Light that you, complete, are.
Trust the process and you travel in wisdom
That others cannot see yet.
Yet you see, become a seer,
Shine the light for others to see, for themselves.”
Our meal complete the angel leaves.
I ascend from the avoid and see you close, at its edge.
I make no motion to encourage you my love.
The choice to meet your angel is yours and yours alone.
And I shall love you regardless.
Image courtesy of rapgenius
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Top performers do three essential things to be at their peak.
1. Clarify your outcomes for the meeting in hand and how you want the relationship with the person to develop, meeting by meeting, one step at a time. Moderate performers focus less on the latter dimension.
2. Be mindful of the frame of the mind you want to be in and that any meeting (is hopefully a meeting of minds) is ultimately about helping everyone present to frame a congruent viewpoint of what needs to be done.
3. Prepare your strategy, primarily so that you allow yourself to get in the frame of mind you want to be.
Research I’ve come across and my own experience shows that the most important thing you take into a meeting is your frame of mind followed by being clear about the outcomes you seek. Having a strategy is important but, once the meeting has started, it’s factors ‘2’ and ‘1’ above (and in that order) that will determine most how you ‘handle any curve balls thrown your way’.
Paul C Burr
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Your outlook in life goes hand in hand with your personality. Personality is a long term habit. A habit is a long term mood. A mood is a long term feeling. So when you feel good and stay feeling good, you shape your outlook for the better. Do and say what feels good. If what you’re about to do doesn’t feel good, don’t do it!
Paul C Burr
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Recite 17 times…
“I am powerful and strong in mind, body, soul and spirit.”
Image sourced from NASA.
Paul C Burr
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As a child I was taught to (do things that) please God and fear the Devil. By the age of 12, I allowed a cleric’s sermon to make me feel ashamed for all the ‘wrong’ things I did, thought and felt – like most young folk do, think and feel as they reach puberty. Much later I realised that guilt or shame is half of the ‘carrot and stick’ deal that parents, governments and some religions use to ‘control’ children, the populace and followers respectively.
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
When you allow someone else to make you feel not good about yourself, you accede to their first step in mind control. Their intent is that you do their bidding, not your own.
To avoid mind control, you need to understand the nature of your own shame; you need to venture into your own ‘underworld’ to find the sources of that shame. Especially those things your parents did that made you feel ashamed as a child and perhaps hid away deep within you unknowingly.
You may not know consciously all the sources of shame you possess and may need some form of ‘plutonic’ awakening to unearth them. Shame is a gap between how you perceive you are and how you’d like to be. In my life I’ve been ashamed of being overweight, of hurting people but the deepest and most profound shame (that I’ve only recently discovered) was that I was not worthy of my parents’ love. And if I was not worthy of their love, I was not worthy of self-love. And if I was not worthy of self-love then I was worthy to love someone else – because I can’t give what I don’t possess. My shame stultified my capacity to love and be loved in return.
When you do something out of shame you may allay feeling that shame, but you never rid yourself of it. You can’t atone shame – but you can release it. You release shame by practicing self-forgiveness.
I’ve shared how my understanding of forgiveness has evolved in two previous blogs (Replace Forgiveness with Accountability and Client:-”I Can’t Forgive Myself.” – “You Don’t Need To.”).
In a nutshell:
Self-forgiveness is not about one part of you saying to another, “Even though you did wrongly I forgive you”. It’s about releasing all judgement.
Shame is a form of not-self-love that lives in your head, rent free. Self-forgiveness is allowing that not-self-love to leave completely.
When not-self-love leaves, all that remains is self-love; what’s in your head aligns with the love you hold in your heart.
You become love wholly.
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, anger, Chakras, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, negative emotions, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, shame, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
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Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, consciousness, courage, daily thought, fear, hurt, joy, karma, laughter, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, negative emotions, negative feelings, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
They suck you in. You don’t feel their fangs puncture your neck. One minute you are drawn to the creature’s alluring charm. The next, you are smitten by their mesmerising power that deceives and lulls you into submission. You allow them under your skin and your life-force starts to bleed out of you.
What was the attraction to someone so beautiful, in dire need of your help? Was it ‘noblesse-oblige?’ What reward did you seek for your chivalry and kindness? Did you hope that you would receive a thank you in the form of love – be it physical, emotional or spiritual? If not, did you seek the dependency of another to satisfy your own false-ego? Either way, you belong to them for now.
You feel an urge to rescue the creature from all its woes. You pay each ‘bill’ they send your way – in the form of time, money, physical and emotional energy. You submit to the creature’s will. You allow yourself to become psychically enslaved. You, the ‘rescuer’, become their ‘victim’. They, ‘the victim’ become your ‘persecutor’. The deeper you allow their ‘bite’; the greater the duress, intensity, frequency and duration of the energy that flows out from your life-force.
You chastise and remonstrate with them your frustrations but you still hold back – for fear of losing them completely. They tell you how wrong and misguided you are – but not for too long. They feign a weakening of spirit. They reveal their inner hurt to you and place themselves at your mercy. Duped, you feel worse for their suffering than you do your own – and so they ensnare you again. You give all your power to them once more and they take it, only more voraciously than ever.
They may not even be wholly aware of the powers they have over you and others like you. It’s as if they can’t help themselves. They possess an insatiable desire for all that you (and others) have to give and more. Yet they show no signs of giving you that one thing you want most from them, love. They show no willingness or capability to love you, the way you want them to love you.
For they can only love someone (or something) that they can’t have. They are doubly bound by not-love – as by now are you. Loveless, they feed on the life-energy of those like you so that they don’t face their biggest and most misguided fear… the fear of love itself.
They choose not the courage to love and be loved. They can only conjure an illusion of love-liness. Love, to them, is a game of smoke and mirrors. Unresolved issues from their childhood cast too dark a shadow in which for them to venture to find love. And so they live in a half light, capable of hypnotic power but incapable of love – not there, right now, with you.
And still you persist with the vision of light that you see inside the creature; wishing, hoping, or perhaps convinced, that they will share it with you one day. But no inner-beacon shines your way. You sicken and tire. You live from minute to minute in servility. You give when you have no more to give and still the blood-letting of your life energy continues until…
You sicken and tire of being sickened and tired by your addiction to this illusory hero/ine. The day comes when you bid “begone!” and hold nothing back. The creature leaves knowing that you truly have nothing more to give.
You both suffer. The habit is not broken yet – ‘cold-turkey has got you (both) on the run’. Given the chance, the vampire returns to test your mettle. They try to ensnare you again but this time it’s different, you’re different. They realise that all you can share with them is your truth – the truth of your feelings (regardless of the correctness/incorrectness of your perceptions). And truth drives out all falsity, including theirs. You thus bid a farewell that is ‘final and definite’ – and so the task of grieving really starts.
Day by day, week by week, month by month, the hurt lessens; the clouds of anger, sadness, shame and fear dissipate. Slowly but steadily, you regain your power. You seek to learn from the devastation you allowed to be inflicted upon you. As you reflect in the ‘mirror that was you’, you begin to realise (real-eyes) the nature of a now-familiar dark energy within yourself.
You account for how it was you who attracted the creature. You recognise a like-for-like, psychic and vampiric part of their nature within yourself. You appreciate more fully the depth and nature of the pain you have caused, or been capable of causing, others.
You see more clearly the definition of love, innately incorrect, given to you by your parents. You bring to the surface unresolved issues with your parents that you’ve carried all your life. And now you can bid farewell to these issues from your past.
Now you have the chance to resolve the unresolved. Today you ‘throw those curtains wide’ and allow the light (the same light that you saw hidden inside the creature) of the sun within you to shine throughout your whole body and radiate beyond. Through willpower, patience and courage you release the psychic vampire inside. Once gone, it never needs to return.
You graduate from the Wisdom School to the Love School – and that’s another story.
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, consciousness, courage, dracula, fear, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, nosferatu, psychic, psychic attack, Psychic Vampire, relationship problems, relationships, sadness, self help, spiritual, Truth, vampire, warrior, words of wisdom
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This review is from: Learn to Love & Be Loved in Return: Making Relationships Last (Paperback)
This is a book about much more than romantic relationships. It is written with wonderful honesty and sincerity about love, the breakdown of relationships and how we relate to one another. It is a book that provides great insights into our own behaviour, as well as how we relate to others. It immensely readable, and I'm finding myself dipping into it over and over again for the many ideas, exercises and insights within its covers. Highly recommended whether you are in a relationship, just starting one, or looking for a relationship that will last.
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