- #Business Client Testimonials
- #Client Testimonials
- Business Client List
- Business Coaching
- Business Consulting Services
- Change your Character, Change your Destiny
- Change your Life in 90 Minutes!
- Defrag your Soul
- Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return (series, now of four books)
- My Skills & Passions
- Quick Guides to Business
Posts Tagged abusive relationships
The seed of a strong relationship, its foundation, must grow into a solid root(ed in truth). Otherwise, we create an unsustainable imbalance. The relationship will eventually topple or die on the vine because it lacks equilibrium.
Lack of equilibrium between two people, develops when:
- One partner destabilises the other by bringing them down (and keeping them there).
- The ‘stronger’ reinforces this and reminds the ‘weaker’ partner of the consequences of their actions
- The ‘stronger’ provides the ‘weaker’ with the solution to their ills. But this is the ‘stronger’ partner’s will and bidding, not the ‘weaker’ partner.
Like a seed, a relationship starts its life very much in the dark. We know not of what lies ahead – nor appreciate what it (the seed of the relationship) can become. After the flush of ecstasy during the first few days/weeks/months together, something unexpected happens. One or both partners find themselves getting upset.
People, who get upset easily, will not succeed in the onerous setbacks that most relationships (or challenging journeys) bring from time to time. The more upset we get, the more we do not feel good about ourselves and the more we often hide about ourselves.
We may bottle our feelings up at first. We keep quiet. We fear that we will upset (or not be seen as good enough by) our partner. Eventually, when we reach exasperation point, we can boil over and let our negative emotions fly. It’s not love that lets fly, it’s fear.
As real as it feels, fear is illusory. And illusion is only dispelled by truth. For a relationship to fulfill its potential wholly, it must pass through the stage in its development called ‘truth’, in which there are no hidden agendas. Feelings and intentions are shared openly and honestly.
We observe a spiral effect. As fear is dispelled, (and as) more truth is revealed, more fear is dispelled, and so on. Counter-wise, fear serves to hide the truth, which when hidden creates more fear, and so on. (Such a fear-based relationship thus cannot get past the hidden agendas that hold it back.)
We choose with every decision we make, which way the relationship travels the spiral, up or down, truth or fear, oneness or separateness, love or power (control).
Real love is borne inside out. We need to feel good about ourselves from the inside, and not solely because someone else (i.e. our partner) makes us feel good about ourselves. We thus free ourselves to stand in our truth without any shield behind which to hide our fears. It can appear that we are making ourselves defenceless. But truth drives out falsity. Our defencelessness is thus our strength, to share a relationship rooted in truth.
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, anger, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, spiritual, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
By listening carefully to the voice of your inner child, you develop your intuition. You tune into its messages. Call it “intunition.” At the same time, you become aware of the feeling when you veer away from the child’s advice. You detune. You cease to trust yourself.
Self trust is the “engine oil” to give and receive the very best, to and from the world around you. Not-self trust means you give and receive second best at best. You undervalue yourself and your immense power.
Extract from my forthcoming book, 2012: A Twist in the Tale, that I intend to serialise on its own blogsite. Watch this space.
Image sourced from Abused Empowered Survive Thrive
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, Chakras, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, inner child, karma, laughter, law of attraction, law of consequence, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, self trust, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior, words of wisdom
There’s no such thing as forgiveness. Humankind is not empowered to forgive. Tis a trick of the mind which stems from the sense of separateness.
Us and Them? = Separateness. (ask Pink Floyd)
When someone else “trespasses against us,” we are encouraged to “forgive them.” When we trespass against others, or even ourselves, we are encouraged to repent and ask for forgiveness.
Which is why we, with good intention, choose to forgive someone else’s, or ask for forgiveness for our own, “wrong doing.” And when we try to forgive ourselves, who is forgiving whom? Do we forgive in our hearts or in our mind?
As without, so within = Oneness.
The heart does not judge. And the soul seeks wisdom, your heart’s desires, not judgement borne of separateness.
The heart only has love, for everyone and everything. The sun shines on us all, regardless of thought or deed. We love unconditionally, like the sun, when we have learned to love ourselves.
Rather than forgive, release the anger, sadness, fear or guilt within you – replace it with passion, to transform yourself first. Raise your vibration. When enough of us focus on oneness, the vibration will spread.
So be uplifting. Transform from separateness to oneness. Journey to Love unconditionally.
Unconditional love leads to magic, divine magic – because you become the change the world awaits.
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, Ancient Wisdom, anger, Chakras, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, fear, forgiveness, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, karma, law of attraction, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, oneness, pagan, sadness, self help, separateness, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, warrior, words of wisdom
“Forgiveness is an illusion of the mind. It appeases our false ego. Instead, we are wiser to erase the data that attracted whom, or that which, we resent or feel guilty about. I speak not of erasing an unpleasant memory or the learning there-from. I speak of erasure of the negative emotions we attach to that memory. The same negative emotions or darkness by which we attracted the person or event, that we allowed to offend us, in the first place.
The sun shines on us all, regardless. The Heart Chakra, your 4th chakra, is the domain of Helios, the Sun King. The heart doesn’t judge. Tis all in the mind.”
Image from American Mathematical Society
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, Ancient Wisdom, consciousness, daily thought, druid, druidry, EFT, Gnosticism, life purpose, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, self help, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior
Can you recall a time when you set off on a venture and ignored or didn’t spot early warning signs that things were probably not going to go to plan? Those things are much easier to see in hindsight when “the milk has been spilt.” At the outset, our emotional attachment to the outcome is high. Those emotions however can cloud our vision of what’s possibly about to go awry. We head down the path to disappointment. We can avoid the path to disappointment and setback, when we can read the “road-signs”.
Four warning signs that point to pending setback and disappointment (in a relationship, in business, in everyday life):
- You get upset easily; means your pride is hurt. When you get emotional quickly and easily, you give your power to those you get upset with. You are clouded with emotion. You cannot see out what to do. Others cannot see in. You isolate yourself.
- Less power leads to low self esteem. You don’t feel good about yourself. This leads to fear.
- Fear of further upset and isolation: in extreme cases you despair and turn to others and do their bidding – in order to maintain some form of connection. This is not love or friendship. It is….
- Mind control: someone else has you under their thumb. This is not love. It’s manipulation. You have no way out, until you find the courage to get out from under.
So we can start by acknowledging our vulnerabilities. Which means neither embrace or deny them. Instead learn from them. Accept them for what they are…. head trash that needs dealing with.
We can go it alone – but I’ve found solitude and contemplation takes a wee bit too long for me. Instead I seek help… either through a group or an “energy healer”.
When you ready yourself to learn, your teacher will appear -and vice versa.
And should you choose to do nothing about it? Prepare yourself.
Because…. ( a definition for not taking responsibility)
“When the rocket is lit, your backside will appear.”
Paul C Burr
Fear is a strong word. It can be an uncomfortable word. If we over-embrace fear, we end up doing nothing about it. Paradoxically the fear of fear; not talking about fear, not thinking about fear can lead to….. denial – of the conscious and unconscious fears (“let’s not go there”) that hold us back.
(Image sourced from lilith_abi.)
So it’s about creating a structure and process where we can acknowledge our fears and vulnerabilities. When we deny fear, we deny our Truth. Research shows, living our Truth is the key to creating a healthy level of self worth.
This presents a challenge to the fiefdoms in politics and business in this “winner takes all” world we’ve created. A world where one man’s vulnerabilities and mistakes are seized by another for their own gain.
It points to a new world where property, wealth and “ownership” is based on equitable negotiation and usage, not forfeiture. Where one serves all as part of our social contract. Leaders do the leading, rulers do the ruling, Kings and Queens do the king-ing or queen-ing. They are jobs with reponsibilities and accountabilities, not titles. Ah-ha – I feel a whole new blog coming on.
Paul C Burr
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, consciousness, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, Gnostic, Gnosticism, issue, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior
Please click on the CATEGORY of the blog you would like to read…
- Blog All
- Current Affairs & The Economy
- Fun and Laughs
- Life's Changes
- Pitfalls I've Fallen Into
- Quirky Ideas
- Self Development
- Self Help
- Soundbytes of Wisdom
- Tip for the Day
- Training & Development
- Visions and Dreams
"...excellent (sales) training with my guys. What have you done to them? Outstanding...."- Graham Hill, CEO, Verbatim, The Phone Answering Service. Aug 2015.
"Paul C Burr is always worth reading. He is erudite, experienced and thought provoking. Highly recommended!" - Nigel Temple, CEO, Marketing Compass, http://www.marketingcompass.co.uk/
"For The Love of Lilith, it's a great book !!
I read it from the end to middle then back to the beginning to the middle. This way worked for me. But I am always going back on it when my intuition requests it." - Gabi, London
(After 'clearing of fears that hold you back'.) "Thanks to you, I've been awarded a government grant for my project. This week has been amazing. You're not just a creator; you're a deliberate creator. Keep sending those vibrations and witness magical appearances." - Jonathan Buffong, Author
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, "... a must read for both novice and experienced salespeople..." - Chiahou Zhang, Author
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, “I work for a large American IT company, and can say this is a hugely powerful book to articulate what is required to get to Board level. To really understand what the CEO and C level executive summarise as valuable and impactful, and in a condensed easy-to-digest format, is phenomenal. I find Paul C Burr's style of writing easier to digest and apply in any sales situation; it crystallises where the true business value add is delivered and how you really have strategic partnerships. I have just got number 2 book and look forward to reading this with excitement - which is saying something as my concentration span can be limited. Thank you.” - Amy Lambkin, Amazon review
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, “I loved it... it was great. I’ve encouraged many of my directors to buy a copy as it’s very pertinent to my company” - paraphrased from a top performing B2B salesperson for a global IT Services organisation.
"Letting go of fear and negativity, I feel like I am now seeing everything in glorious technicolour, have been given the space to dream and together with reciting the affirmations, I feel wonderful :-) "
Sameera de Silva, London
"I would like to thank Paul for sharing his impressive skills and enabling me to finally connect, and disconnect, with the last thread of the old me. His etheric cleansing process is quick and easy and allows for instant access to the valuable information that empowers you to create the clearing and changes most required. I would recommend this process to absolutely anyone on a spiritual path and to individuals caught on the hamster wheel of life, where little progress is seen for the amount of effort put in. Paul's cleansing is precise and swiftly creates the shift you've battled to create for yourself."
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return: "One of the best books I have read & worked with...."
"Your coaching took my life to another dimension and I live with my head high because of you.Thank you."
Charles Burton, Personal Trainer, Dancer, European Amateur Natural Bodybuilding Champion
“Paul, Thank you for your inspiring, in-depth and highly informative session last week, you taught me to unblock all my inner fears and to know why they were there in the first place. You are a calm influence, and it was your confidence which inspired me so much, as you are not at all egoistic in your guidance. You have shown me the side of myself I always wanted to greet, but didn’t believe was there.
You gave me the greatest gift I could ever have received which is to know my own being, and this is why I will always be grateful, and never forget our work last week. I now have found the path to not only happiness, but wisdom too. They say happy is the wise man, and I might add happy is this wise woman, through meeting a wise man, thank you again.”
Georgie Shellis, Harrow
Money barely represents what a single session is worth."
“I cannot echo enough what Naomi in Hove says ” Money barely represents what a single session is worth”. What you have done for me has literally changed my life with it’s amazing instant and personalised affect. My physical pain after one week of the session has been halved, so impressive that my Osteopath noticed it, my back less rigid for instance. And as for my formerly traumatic life, well now I understand my purpose, why things happened in childhood etc. I know feel like a sea bird observing its life, perched high on a cliff top, and like that bird, I feel that I have the entire navigational control of my life. For the first time I might add in forty two years so far! Thank you Paul, immensely,”
Emma Andrews – Brighton
"I would never have expected it but after 10 years of emotional dependence, I am now totally not bothered by it, this is amazing!”
“I already feel very differently. It can be hard to come to terms with change when it's not what you want, even though you know resistance is futile, but now I can see where I'm headed, it's easier to accept that the change is already in progress and that it's a good thing, thanks again.”
Gemma (via telephone), London
AMAZON: 5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
C. L. Eveleigh (Reading, UK)
This review is from: Learn to Love & Be Loved in Return: Making Relationships Last (Paperback)
This is a book about much more than romantic relationships. It is written with wonderful honesty and sincerity about love, the breakdown of relationships and how we relate to one another. It is a book that provides great insights into our own behaviour, as well as how we relate to others. It immensely readable, and I'm finding myself dipping into it over and over again for the many ideas, exercises and insights within its covers. Highly recommended whether you are in a relationship, just starting one, or looking for a relationship that will last.
Paul’s engaging style and personable character perfectly suit professional coaching. I have completed a recent programme. My performance, at work, has gone from strength to strength. I am now equipped with the tools to take me to previously unimagined business heights. Thank you Paul!
Robert Syrad, Erevena, Executive Search Services
Paul’s genius for business coaching helped me get clarity on a number of issues very quickly. I trust Paul as my coach. I appreciate his honesty and business expertise. In particular, I really value Paul’s flexibility in stepping into the role of a mentor, when he can see the benefit of doing so.
Is there any point in me saying that Paul comes highly recommended?
Romilla Ready, Lead Author, NLP for Dummies
"…your coaching technique! Bloody amazing".
Claire Dickson, Former Management Development Director
with Dixons and United Biscuits
Paul C Burr PhD
Skype: pbviaskype (mention this blog, when you connect)
Quick Guide VII – A Top-notch, Sales-Relationships, Account Management Template
Quick Guide VI – How to Sell Coaching
Defrag your Soul
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return
My Shelfari bookshelf
- The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
- [ Chiron and the Healing Journey ] CHIRON AND THE HEALING... by Melanie R Reinhart
- Druidcraft Tarot Deck (Tarot Cards) by Phillip...