Posts Tagged guilt

Solar Eclipse around 10am BST, 1 Sept 2016, in Virgo

Rare-ring-of-fire-eclipse-to-pass-over-northern-Africa-on-Sept1-indialivetoday

In just under 2 hrs from now, as I draft this, we will be subject to an annular solar eclipse. Those in Africa, who will see the full eclipse, will observe a ring of fire at its zenith. Alas, we are too far north, here in the UK, to even see a partial eclipse. BUT….

It seems to be a heavy duty and complex configuration of planets going to be activated, astrologically speaking. I won’t go into the astro details but the ‘planets’, asteroids and special-points-in-space involved, include…

  • Sun/Helios – the revealer of truth who never judges but shines love and compassion
  • Moon – the queen of your emotions and emotional journey in life
  • Neptune – who influences the illusion [eg addictions, external (non-)reality] in your life so that you eventually discover truth(and is at his most powerful as he swims in Pisces)
  • Saturn – the lord of karma and its timing
  • The North Node of the lunar eclipse – influences your direction in life and brings to light things you know least about
  • Uranus – the ‘Che Guevara’ of planets who can bring about rapid, unexpected change/revolution
  • Eris – the goddess of strife
  • Juno – the goddess of relationships
  • Black Moon Lilith – the goddess of the high-most spiritual love and your innermost darkness at the same time

All but the last two have hard aspects to the Sun/Moon conjunction – which, in simple terms, means the possibility of conflict, tension, upset, strife, rebellion and revolution. BE WARY!!!

Now there ain’t a lot I want to say about what might or might not happen on a global level so I’ll stick to the advice I am trying to take heed of for myself, personally  – and I’ve already had one run in!

  • Don’t exert yourself so that you end up exacerbating any physical disability
  • You may find yourself desirous to do something which the adolescent you wants to do (eg drink, smoke, gamble et al) but the mature you is saying “hold back”. Saturn is around to help you set boundaries and keep your focus on what’s best for you, specifically your physical and emotional self. But if you step outside these boundaries then Saturn might well return any transgressions, you make, back to you – only amplified.
  • Watch your back, stay alert. Something or someone may sneak up on you and cause an upset. If you see it coming, stay cool.
  • One or all the above may invoke a disconnection. This is not because of someone being right or wrong, it’s about people not being able to see others’ perceptions.

By standing back, staying cool by rising above the situation, you will see it for what it is. And you will be secure in the wisdom it brings – so that any decisions you make, as a result, are better informed. Avoid making a rash decision which is often Mars’ wont .

One love, stay cool


Shine on…!

/|\

Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Actor and Model

Facebook: Beowulf (>14,000 followers)

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Mindfulness – Wakening to the Framework of What-Is and What-Is-Not, The Law of Reversibility

(The Foreword to my forthcoming booklet, The Threefold Death – Mindfulness: Wakening to the Law of Reversibility)

Face Optical IllusionImage courtesy of interestingcreativedesigns

The Law of Reversibility

Situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state. The reverse holds true too; inducing that same emotional state will manifest those same events and people into your life.

Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, yet unseen, vibration. This is the paradox of duality. For ‘something’ to be present, ‘not-that-something’ also exists, at the same time. For example, when you ask someone to marry you, they may say, “yes” (success) or “no” (not-success). You know the shape of a building because the air around it is not-that-building.

So how can you apply this principle to life and death? Answer: it requires a fundamental reframe.

The opposite of death is not life, it is birth. Life is eternal.
Paraphrased from Eckhart Tolle

There is no such thing as death in the traditional sense of its definition. Upon death, the physical body returns to its constituent elements and consciousness leaves the body, unseen, reborn into the vibration it came from. Death and birth are coincidental. You give birth to new levels of consciousness in life by bringing death to, killing, those things that you allow to stop the birthing process. And…

You can only bring death to, or kill, that which you have power over (i.e. the properties of things you own or control): your personality, your feelings, your outlook – and how you perceive, and thus respond to, the information you amass through your five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste). You do not have control over the events and people in your life – but you always have control over how you respond to them.

Author’s extract from Defrag your Soul: If you perceive life negatively for a few hours, people will think you’re in a mood. If your negativity lasts a few weeks, others may think that you’re depressed. If your negativity sustains over a longer term, others will define you as someone with a negative personality – or of a negative character.

Your outlook in life shapes your responses to its peaks, middles (“Glass half full, half empty?”) and troughs. Your sustained responses, define your character – and thus your destiny…

All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character … (and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.
CC Zain

A deeper process of ‘personal alchemy’ is at work…

Strength of character comes not from a life of ease and tranquillity but from a life in which our hearts, minds and sometimes bodies are pitted against forces we do not understand.
Paraphrased from The Druid Plant Oracle, by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm

Change in your consciousness is only brought about by changing your character; ergo, changes (preceded by deaths) to certain aspects of your personality and feelings, which in turn are shaped by the framework of how you perceive the information you gather through your five senses. Life, at some level, is thus about opening, as Aldous Huxley so eloquently puts it, the doors of perception AND shaping your character accordingly and consciously.

As you open the doors, you waken to the framework of what-is and what-is-not, the principles of spirit and matter, the Laws of the Light, the framework of truth borne of justice, just-is. It requires focus, imagination, faith in yourself, and a cleansing of the mind.

All whom I love I teach, but first confute,
Thus from their minds all errors to uproot.
For truth by biased minds is ne’er divined,
Therefore seek wisdom, but first cleanse the mind.

(
From Message to the Hierarchy of Selene, from The Restored New Testament: The Hellenic Fragments…, by James Morgan Pryse)

Otherwise you will not know clearly whether you will manifest what you want or its polar opposite, its duality…

The Paradox of Duality

To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.

 

3FD Paperback Cover

So…

Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.

My forthcoming booklet describes three fundamental deaths (or reframes) to aspects of personality, feelings and perception of what-is and what-is-not  – or as the story of Merlin portrays, The Threefold Death.

These three reframes are fundamental to your wakening.

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model

Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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Lunar Eclipse in Libra, 4 April 2015

Total-Lunar-Eclipse-WallpaperAlthough not visible from UK, you can still enjoy the opportunity the Lunar Eclipse brings the whole earth. It begins around 11am BST.

The moon reflects the light of the sun outside and inside, in our emotional world. An eclipse turns the moon dark red which means we can look within and, albeit temporarily, investigate the darkness within.

Libra, the scales of justice, encourages us to judge and bring balance into our lives – the harmony of self.

Justice,’just is’, means assessing what is and what is not for what it is and is not, without condemnation.

Judgement means reflect….

What is it that you think, say and do that makes you feel good? What happens to whom when you think, say or do these things?  How do you feel inside? At peace? Healthy? Self-worth? Joy? Love? (Where or to whom could you “spread the love”?)

What is it that you think, say and do that makes you feel not good? What happens to whom when you think, say or do these things?  How do you feel inside? Angry, Ashamed? Hurt? Fearful? What would happen instead if you did not think, say or do these things, not – things, nothing?

What is it that you could think, say or do instead that would bring inner peace and harmony? Practise… Patience? Compassion? Mindfulness? Commitment? Faith in self? Enthusiasm? Curiosity?…

‘Judge’ does not mean ‘condemn’. Be ok with your vulnerabilities and dark feelings. Close your eyes, and imagine placing them in a bubble in front of you. Shine light into the bubble. And when your ready, allow the bubble to float into the infinite void of self-forgiveness within.

Image courtesy of, and can be downloaded as a wallpaper from, photographylife.

See what this eclipse will look like to those in the Pacific Rim.

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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A Self-help Exercise for the Solar Eclipse, Friday, 20 March 2015: Super Selene Eclipses Helios’ Light

The Lunar Eclipse reaches its zenith at precisely 9:35:18am here in Hove, East Sussex, UK.

You can check out its effect and timing where you are by linking to http://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/

The transit takes place at 29 degrees, Pisces, the most fantastical of the signs. Pisces brings us both the dreams of the cosmos (truth) and the world of illusion. Neptune, ruler of Pisces, now swims in its vast waters and will continue his journey through Pisces’ constellation for another eleven years. See Neptune Plunges into Pisces, 2012-2026 .

The Pisces/Neptune effect will thus be at its strongest. Furthermore the transit occurs in the last degree of Pisces which is a fractal of all the power and influence of the whole constellation.

The eclipse also precedes the Spring Equinox, the time to break through the surface to the light of summer which can only succeed when the seeds of our actions are rooted in truth.

Another biggy in the sky is Uranus (in Aries) squaring up with Pluto (in Sagittarius). The result is a huge tension between the revolutionary Uranus and the god of the underworld (death and transformation). So if you’ve been feeling the need for some radical change within recently – it’s probably down to Uranus and Pluto making their weight felt.

In summation, this solar eclipse could be far more powerful than we realise – and it heralds a time for change – global and personal. Discernment – between what is (true) and what is not (illusory) – is key.

Circle in square

The magicians of old spoke of the circle (the eternal body) within the square (the physical body). We live in the mother matrix (square) of this earthly realm, within which we find the eternal circle of life and death.

During the eclipse, the eternal circle of the sun is broken and interrupted for a couple of hours by the intervening moon. We lose a part of our connection, temporarily, with the eternal but we can use this opportunity to think and act practically; to change that which is rooted in not-truth (illusion) to truth.

Here’s a wee exercise to complete during the two hour window of opportunity that the solar eclipse brings you. Write down the answers to these questions by hand on notepaper to keep with you over the coming months.

  1. What are all the things that you are doing right now that you feel not-good about after you’ve done them?
  2. What is the logic behind why you do these things? What are the consequences of continuing these actions (or thoughts) in the short, medium and long term?
  3. How do you feel shortly after you’ve been doing these things? List down all the not-good feelings.
  4. How would you prefer to feel instead? List all the good feelings.
  5. What would you be doing differently that would engender these good feelings?
  6. What would be the consequences of doing these different things that would bring you good feelings?
  7. So what is that you commit to stop doing and what do you commit to doing differently instead?
  8. Will you start on or before the Spring Equinox? If your answer is “yes”, do it.

Switch from doing those things that make you feel not-good to things that make you feel good.

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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Let’s Dispel some Myths about Addiction

An extract from my forthcoming book, How to Be a Friend of the Devil Within (Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 2 & Mindfulness Exercises in Relationships, No 2).

Paperback Cover V2

Author’s note – The scientific citations in this section are drawn from Zeitgeist Moving Forward by Peter Joseph – for me, a life changing movie.

I define addiction as any behaviour that is associated with craving, with temporary relief, and with long term negative consequences, along with an impairment of control over it so that the person wishes to give it up or promises to do so – but can’t follow through…. (Author: when speaking of) drugs… television… video games… work-aholism… power… wealth… oil…
Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society

One of the most crazy-making and yet widespread and potentially dangerous notions is: “Oh, that behaviour is genetic”.
Dr Robert Sapolsky, Professor of Neurological Sciences, Stanford University

No substance, no drug nor behaviour by itself is addictive… so the valid question is “What makes a person susceptible to being addictive to a particular substance or behaviour?”
(Paraphrased) Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society

I recently came across an article that substantiates the non-addictiveness of substances, in the case of heroin, in The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think, by Johan Currie, author of Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs (ref: The Huffington Post, 23/1/2015). Currie reports of a study that some 20% of soldiers serving in the Vietnam War became addicted to heroin. Upon returning home, some 95% of the addicted soldiers – according to the same study – simply stopped. Very few had ‘rehab’. The cause of the heroin addiction seemed to be the untenable environment of war. When the addicts returned to everyday life, the causation, for most of them, atrophied.
But what about the 5% whose addiction did not atrophy simply?
We have to look at the whole life experience… and that process begins in the womb.

For example, if you stress mothers during pregnancy, their children are more likely to have traits that predispose them to addictions…
(Paraphrased) Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society

The above scientifically-validated statements concur with…

The relationship we share with our mothers, from the ‘information’ they share through their blood (e.g. stress related hormones or agents from substances such as alcohol or tobacco) in the womb, through to the early years of childhood, shapes the relationship we have with our own physical bodies.
Druid wisdom

By considering addiction as a process of physical-self-abuse, you can perhaps see how ancient wisdom is concomitant with scientific study. People with unresolved, especially serious, issues with their mother are more likely to inflict abuse on their own physical bodies, through addictions or other forms of self-harm.
With specific regard to addiction, let us consider the words of Brené Brown. She advises that…

“You cannot numb yourself from hurt and fear without numbing yourself, at the same time, from joy and love.”

Through addictions, you cut yourself off from your awareness of the light and shadow within. And, in doing so, you effectively cut yourself off from your journey to love, your spiritual journey. Your life shall remain incomplete.

Fortunately, you have an inner entity to help you. His name is Set, the devil within. [Set etymologically became Saturn and Satan. We celebrate Sat(urns)day every week. See my book, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within, for further explanation.]

Author’s note – I have addictive traits to my personality but I have never considered myself to be addicted to a life threatening substance. I, thus, cannot speak ‘first-hand’ about tackling issues associated with alcoholism, drug addiction or other compulsions.
Friends of mine, who admit to being “addicts” or “users” in recovery, have successfully used the 12 Step Programme. Originally published by Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 Step Programme nowadays is recognised as de jure by many of the leading organisations (e.g. Narcotics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous) who help people to live a new and healthy lives, through new codes of behaviour.
References: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program, http://www.aa.org/, http://www.na.org/, http://www.oa.org/

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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The Game of Life

MystiqueExtract from The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love) and adapted, in part, from Druid wisdom (ref: Light and Life, a series of booklets written by David Loxley, Chief Druid, The Druid Order, London).

Your purpose is more than to succeed. It is to learn and apply the wisdom needed to succeed.

Success is the goal, but life is the time and space that happens in between now and reaching that goal. You attract the future that comes towards you. The future presents you with what remains incomplete right now in your life. The future presents the present with the opportunity to learn about yourself, (conscious and especially sub-conscious sources of anger, hurt, shame and fear) incomplete wisdom – AND apply the wisdom gleaned to release these ‘incompletions’ – completeness. Should you complete what is incomplete, it travels into the past and need not return.

The game of life was understood by the Egyptians in the time of the Ancient Kingdom (pre 3000BCE).

Sun Boat

Whatever travels into the past that remains incomplete ‘returns to the future’. Whatever issues (i.e. unlearned or unapplied wisdom) that remain incomplete, be they business or personal, return again and again until you complete them. You know something is incomplete when you have allowed any residual anger, hurt, shame or fear to control your thoughts, deeds or words.

When you start something, complete it.

The Mystique to the Game of Life

In this earthly realm you cannot have anything without having ‘not-that-thing’ to compare it with. This is the nature of duality. For example, you cannot know what ‘wet’ is without knowing what not-wet, ‘dry’, is. Tall/short, wide/narrow, hot/cold, light/dark: anything you come up with has its dual. Some things are directly opposed as such with a continuum of gradualness between them, e.g. cold – warm – hot, negative – neutral – positive. Some things are binary: on/off, male/female, truth/illusion, love/fear.

As you journey through life, who teaches you love? How do you know what love is? You start with a definition of love given to you by your parents. From adolescence onwards you shape that definition through the relationships that come towards you (from the future).

If you listen, relationships tell you what you don’t love about yourself.

The future presents you with what is incomplete in your wisdom of love; the opportunity to discern love from not-love (fear). Whether you choose to learn – and more importantly apply – that wisdom, is up to you.

When you are presented with not-love in a relationship that is precious to you, in an indirect way, you are being given the opportunity to learn to love regardless of what the other person does: real love, unconditional love. The best example of unconditional love, I can think of, is the kind of love a grandparent can have for their grandchild.

Should you choose to apply not-love, i.e. you choose to ignore (not-learn) the wisdom of love, then the ‘opportunity to learn and apply love’ passes into past only to return to the future. You appreciate this when you notice that you attract a series of repeating patterns in relationship after relationship.

The next bit took me a wee while to figure out. It’s subtle. You may want to read it a few times because I didn’t get it first, second or even the third time around.

In the context of this book, let’s say that you’re in love with someone. You define success as having a long term loving and intimate relationship with that person. (Success can be any outcome you want in life by the way, e.g. a big house, a job, health, a sales victory, anything.) Alongside success, in the future, sits not-success (I am deliberately avoiding the f-word).

For example, if you’re going to ask someone to marry you, they may decline. If your outcome is to win a sales campaign, you may lose. The closer you get to the decision, the closer you get to success and not-success. Herein lies the mystique to the law of attraction, the law of reversibility and magic. In order to appreciate this mystique I need to explain life’s purpose. (See Appendix 1 for glossary of terms. You can read all about the aforementioned laws, magic and life’s purpose in my book, Defrag your Soul.)

Your purpose in life is to find, open, become and express your true nature, the ‘real you’, the hu-man (= light being) in you. Outcomes, goals and targets are, by comparison, external things in life that we set out to achieve that we feel will give us a sense of fulfilment or security.

Yet, for example, there is nothing intrinsically of value with money, diamonds or gold. We can’t do anything with these things unless there is common agreement that they are valued by others and can be used to barter for things we want.

Money doesn’t teach us per se about love or light. It does equip us to have a materially comfortable lifestyle but it doesn’t, of itself, do anything for us spiritually. Yet the journey to achieving money (or anything for that matter) is a spiritual journey because life (the future) will present (in every given moment, the present tense) you with what is incomplete in your life – people, events situations that reflect those ‘parts’ within you that stand in the way of you becoming your true nature. You manifest these ‘parts’ in the form of anger, hurt, shame and fear. When you define and go for future success in terms of love, money or wellbeing then not-love, not money, not-wellbeing exists in the future as well.

There is what seems a natural and logical tendency to avoid not-success and this is why and where you attract it.

Let’s get commercial for a paragraph. Take sales for example. Let’s say you’re in a competitive bid to win a sales campaign and the customer has objections, some of which might be hidden, to your proposal. If you attempt to deny the customer’s right to air their objections by ignoring them or arguing with the customer about the fallacy of their logic or perception, you undervalue your bid. If on the other hand you seek out any hidden objection but fear to handle it, (i.e. you fear to… reframe any misperceptions or resolve genuine problems with and counterbalance genuine drawbacks to your proposal) then you allow the objection to take control of the sales situation, i.e. you allow fear to control your actions and that fear can spread to the customer. If you allow fear to seize control, you can end up doing nothing, perhaps like ‘a rabbit caught in headlights’. Your sales proposal may thus be regarded as ‘incomplete’ in the value it offers.

Let’s cover wealth and not-wealth, i.e. poverty (something I was very fearful of for most of my life). Most people I meet fear poverty. When you seek wealth through actions borne of the fear of poverty, you may well succeed. You may earn a vast fortune and distance yourself materially from poverty; by more than you could expect to spend in a lifetime. Do you feel secure? You may well do. Have you released yourself from the fear of poverty? No: if by some chance you lost your fortune, the fear of poverty may well return.

Actions borne of fear, even when hugely successful, do not release that fear. They simply keep that fear in abeyance. The journey to your true nature remains incomplete.

Let’s get back to the relationship you want. If you apply and only apply love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness to your quest then you are on the right track to success. What do I mean by completeness?

Completeness means acknowledgement of any anger, hurt, shame and fear that the image of not-success presents you. If you attempt to avoid not-success through thoughts, deeds and words borne of anger, hurt, shame or fear; you are denying yourself the opportunity to release these negative emotions; they control you. But they are not the ‘real you’, they are a shadow that hides the ‘real you’ from you – and those who love you and whom you love.

Nor does it serve your life purpose to deny  or banish these negative feelings. For you cannot ‘release’ what you do not acknowledge to possess.

Update: Just this last year I have discovered that negative feelings are not there for ‘releasing’ in the sense of ‘let-them-go-elsewhere’. Instead, release them into the void, the space above (and between) the mental and emotional worlds within you and below the supernal you. Instead of the word ‘release’, these days, I prefer to use the term, ‘integrate’.

To be explored in a future blog….

 

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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The Journey to Self-worth, Self-love and ultimately, Love – Starts with…

(This blog is an extract from a forthcoming book I’m writing with the working title, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within)

Three raysThree Constituents and their Dualities…

  1. Accept vulnerabilities: as necessary to the human condition. Avoid allowing them to dictate your actions. Avoid denying them. Learning from vulnerability is fundamental to knowing what being invulnerable means. That’s the paradox of duality – you know something is wet because you know it’s not not-wet, i.e. dry.

To understand invulnerability, allow yourself to ‘be ok being vulnerable’. As you learn more about vulnerability (defencelessness), you learn more about ‘not-vulnerabilty’, invulnerability.

Image courtesy of Cernonnos

Defencelessness becomes your strength – when you learn to apply its wisdom.

  1. Learn to be okay with uncertainty. For example, when you commit to a journey, you may not arrive at your intended destination. Likewise, when you allow yourself to fall in love, that love may be rejected or lost. Learn to avoid trying to control people to adhere to your will. Love is only achieved through choice and freedom and living with the uncertainty that choice and freedom imply. Put another way…

If you want to change something stop trying to control it.

  1. Self-love does not mean that you or life has to be perfect. You were designed to be incomplete. By all means strive to improve yourself or the life you lead AND ‘don’t beat yourself up for being imperfect’. You, your friends and acquaintances, your children and your enemies, none are perfect.

This is what researcher and storyteller, Brené Brown, says about raising children in a generation that has the highest rate of drug dependency, obesity and debt in history…

Our job is to say (to our children), “You know what? You are imperfect, you are wired to struggle – BUT you are worthy of love and belonging”. That’s our job. Show me a generation of children raised like that and we’ll end, I think, the problems we see today.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

Be clear about your intended outcomes and commit to the journey to achieve them. The outcomes will not necessarily be spiritual. Yet the journey to complete – that which is incomplete (incomplete self-worth, incomplete self-love and incomplete love) – is always spiritual.

Your True Nature Creates Love

Being okay with the three states: vulnerability, uncertainty and imperfection, means that you no longer hold yourself back with emotions (anger, shame, hurt and fear) that stop you from expressing your true nature. Not feeling angry, hurt, ashamed or fearful allows you to embrace these four disabling-emotions’ dualities (enabling-emotions):

1. Not-anger =  compassion and patience

2. Not-shame = self-worth and faith-in-self

3. Not-hurt = joy and serenity

4. Not-fear = love.

Your true nature is to…

Create love, moment by moment, through a cocktail of compassion, patience, self worth, faith-in-self, completeness, serenity, and joy  – with a twist of enthusiasm and will-power.

Shine on… & a Happy Winter Solstice!

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Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Forgiveness Is More than Something You Do; It’s Who You Are – extract from For The Love of Lilith…

Herein follows a short extract from For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach yourself  To It)

Lilith Cover No 1

We are encouraged in western convention to ask for forgiveness and forgive others ‘who trespass against us’.
Nothing is random. You attract everything that happens to you. (If you don’t subscribe to this notion then act as if it were true for now and practise self-forgiveness as prescribed below. You’ll find it self-empowering.) If ‘something untoward’ happens to you, you attracted it for a reason. If you’re going to forgive anyone, start by forgiving yourself for attracting that ‘something untoward’ into your life in the first place. Even when I understood this, I still got the wrong end of the stick for a while.
I used to say something like, “What I did was wrong. I’m due (or it’s) karmic retribution. In time I hope I can forgive myself.”
Here’s the question. Which part of me is to (self-) forgive which other part of me? Which part of me has the right? Which part of me has the desire? Not the heart, it doesn’t judge. Like the sun, the heart shines on all. If the heart doesn’t judge, the notion of forgiving myself for doing ‘something bad’ is non-existent, in the heart that is.
Conventional self-forgiveness (‘good’ forgiving ‘bad’) is nothing more than a head trip. It’s all in the mind. It’s perhaps a start in the right direction. You may wish to forgive yourself or someone else with good intention. But if your forgiving is borne of a moralistic judgement it’s not from the heart and thus fundamentally flawed.
Real forgiveness is ‘being’ as if the thing that which was untoward never occurred in the first place. Forgiveness is more than something you do; it’s who you are – in your thoughts, intentions, actions when you operate from the heart, from spirit.
That’s what being in the present, moment-by-moment, actualises: self-forgiveness, free from the past, free from fear, free to be who you really are, spirit in human form, light (hu-man means ‘light being’), love.
And when you are love, being love, guess what? You free yourself to choose.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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In Your Business (or Personal) Life, What is Mindfulness?

Extracts from Quick Guide V: How to Apply Mindfulness to Business.

Front Cover 8.5x5.25

 Mindfulness

Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Allow me to add my own business related definition.

Mindfulness is responding in the present moment without reacting through anger, shame, hurt or (the most likely feeling) fear. Instead it’s about having faith-in-self to use your intuition to respond with passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, compassion, harmony, and timing to complete whatever is incomplete in your approach to business relationships.


Mindfulness
Approach

If you are mindful of, moment by moment, you…

  • Demonstrate faith-in self, passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, and compassion.
  • Avoid both panicking and reacting out of anger, shame, hurt, and fear – instead, under-react.
  • Create harmony and resonance to nurture The Master Mind.

A Master Mind may be created through the bringing together or blending, in a spirit of perfect harmony, of two or more minds. Out of this harmonious blending the chemistry of the mind creates a third mind which be appropriated and used by one or all of the individual minds.
from The Law of Success, Napoleon Hill

  • Complete incompletions (when the future presents them to you and in the past you may have reacted negatively) to time.

Then, with these intentions, actions and qualities you apply…

The Mystique

You will induce everything that’s incomplete in your approach to your business relationship. This is the future’s gift to the present moment. You are given the opportunity to rise above anger, shame, hurt, and fear (borne of the past tense).

When you complete anything in your business approach that is incomplete, it travels into the past and need never return. If you react negatively, i.e. it remains incomplete, it travels into the past before returning to the future – so that you attract the same source of anger, shame, hurt, and fear once again.

The goals of nurturing healthy business relationships may be financial success and kudos but these things are not the purpose.

The real purpose of any relationship, business or otherwise, is the development of self (consciousness) to be the very best at what you do.

When you achieve the above, the goals and purpose become one. You cannot fail because there is no one better and you have no fear of not-success – because…

The Mystique
Genuinely having no fear tells you that not-success no longer exists.

There’s a corollary to this. To release your fear you need to approach not-success. Which is why I encourage you to…

Include not-success as well as success in what you want.

Get it?

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Magic is…

Fire heart…Something created out of nothing, the nothingness created from having no fear. When you release all your fear, all that remains is joy and wellbeing. Can there be anything more magical to life than feeling 100% well and happy?

Extract from a forthcoming booklet, currently 3rd in my pipeline (working title), How to Concoct Love in your Life, the first in a series of Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom.

Image from http://wallpapersa.blogspot.co.uk/

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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The Mystique to the Game of Life

IMG_1662Extracts from my forthcoming booklet (now in draft form, being proof-read):

The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love)

#Mindfulness in Relationships Series, No 1

Have you ever loved someone so dearly and have that love not returned? The other person shares everything apart from their love. They refuse to surrender themselves to the process of love; the unconditional surrender of freedom to the commitment that love requires.

Have you ever felt sick to the stomach over unrequited love?

Have you ever yearned in your heart or loins for someone when your head is telling you…

  • “This is absolutely the wrong partner for you”?
  • “Bottom line, she/he just doesn’t fancy you”?
  • “You and him/her, it’s never going to happen”?

Or something like

  • “She/he simply doesn’t love you the way you love her/him”?

Your head judges, your loins desire sexual fulfilment and your heart seeks to share love. I call this the Head, Heart and Loins dynamics of a relationship. When all three are aligned, within and between partners, their relationship is probably in good shape to meet the outcomes they seek. (The same holds true for a personal friendship whether there is a sexual element to that friendship or not.) I speak neither of good nor bad, nor moralise. I speak of the process of achieving a purpose through the journey to the goals you set for the relationship, be those goals profound or for short term recreation.

Mindfulness, sometimes referred to as being present in the moment, is the process of creating love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness in the moment (by moment) – regardless of whether these vibrations are returned or not. It takes mindfulness to fulfil a relationship’s true purpose, which curiously can be achieved whether the goals are achieved or not.

For example, in movies and songs I’ve heard the phrase, “You complete me”. Well if someone’s purpose is to become complete and they set a goal to find someone who completes them – what happens should they achieve completeness? They no longer need someone else for that purpose.

Other people don’t complete you. You find ‘completeness’ through the journey to ‘completeness’; you find ‘oneness’.

Mindfulness is the vehicle by which to travel the journey.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf
(>16,000 followers)

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“I Feel Good, dah-dah dah-dah dah-dah-dah!”

james-brown

Your outlook in life goes hand in hand with your personality. Personality is a long term habit. A habit is a long term mood. A mood is a long term feeling. So when you feel good and stay feeling good, you shape your outlook for the better. Do and say what feels good. If what you’re about to do doesn’t feel good, don’t do it!

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author

Image courtesy of Fans Share

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The Decisions You Make, Are They Borne of Love or Fear?

“We change the map of life itself by changing our attitude towards it.”

 from The Mind of the Druid by E G Howe

Mind of the Druid

(Probably the most profound book I’ve ever read. I’ve read it 4 times and I’m still trying to ‘get it!’)

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author

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TftD: The 4 Seeds of Negative Karma that Hold you Back

Extract from Defrag your Soul….defrag eye6.5x9.25 v5

Only four things hold you back from that which your heart truly desires….

1.       Shame

 There is no shame in failure but failure is endemic to shame.

2.      Anger/Resentment

 Resentment is like poisoning yourself whilst waiting for someone to die.

 Better still,

 Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.

Sourced from the Internet.

 3.      Sadness/Hurt

 I’ve cried, and you’d think I’d be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.

Conor Oberst

 4.      Fear

 F. E. A. R. = False expectations appearing real.

These four negative emotions serve a purpose. For example, when you have learned all you need to know about shame, you have readied yourself to appreciate not-shame – i.e. to feel good about yourself. To appreciate a high vibration fully, you need to know about its exact opposite.

Such is duality:

  • Shame –> not-Shame –> e.g. feel okay, feel good, self compassion, caring for self, trusting self, self worth, self liking, self love, love
  • Anger–>not-Anger–>e.g. composed, relaxed, fondness, love
  • Sadness–>not-Sad–>e.g. joy, happiness, serenity, expansion, wisdom, love
  • Fear–>not-Fear–>courage, faith, fearlessness, stillness, wisdom, love.

The opposites of all four seeds of negative karma lead ultimately to love. When you release shame, anger, sadness and fear, you journey towards love, borne of oneness, borne of the divine.

Where does life’s journey take me?

To truth, your truth, love, oneness, your divine self.

Duality: anything that is not truth, not love or not oneness is not divine.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Author of Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Shame, Not-self-love, Is the First Step toward Mind Control

GuiltAs a child I was taught to (do things that) please God and fear the Devil. By the age of 12, I allowed a cleric’s sermon to make me feel ashamed for all the ‘wrong’ things I did, thought and felt – like most young folk do, think and feel as they reach puberty. Much later I realised that guilt or shame is half of the ‘carrot and stick’ deal that parents, governments and some religions use to ‘control’ children, the populace and followers respectively.

Illustration by Andrea Kurucz

When you allow someone else to make you feel not good about yourself, you accede to their first step in mind control. Their intent is that you do their bidding, not your own.

To avoid mind control, you need to understand the nature of your own shame; you need to venture into your own ‘underworld’ to find the sources of that shame. Especially those things your parents did that made you feel ashamed as a child and perhaps hid away deep within you unknowingly.

You may not know consciously all the sources of shame you possess and may need some form of ‘plutonic’ awakening to unearth them.  Shame is a gap between how you perceive you are and how you’d like to be. In my life I’ve been ashamed of being overweight, of hurting people but the deepest and most profound shame (that I’ve only recently discovered) was that I was not worthy of my parents’ love. And if I was not worthy of their love, I was not worthy of self-love. And if I was not worthy of self-love then I was worthy to love someone else – because I can’t give what I don’t possess. My shame stultified my capacity to love and be loved in return.

When you do something out of shame you may allay feeling that shame, but you never rid yourself of it. You can’t atone shame – but you can release it. You release shame by practicing self-forgiveness.

I’ve shared how my understanding of forgiveness has evolved in two previous blogs (Replace Forgiveness with Accountability and Client:-”I Can’t Forgive Myself.” – “You Don’t Need To.”).

In a nutshell:

Self-forgiveness is not about one part of you saying to another, “Even though you did wrongly I forgive you”. It’s about releasing all judgement.

 Shame is a form of not-self-love that lives in your head, rent free. Self-forgiveness is allowing that not-self-love to leave completely.

 When not-self-love leaves, all that remains is self-love; what’s in your head aligns with the love you hold in your heart.

You become love wholly.

You shine!

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Tip for the Day: The Purpose of Duality

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Take a quiet moment to yourself. What’s the biggest issue you face? Now look at yourself in an imaginary mirror. Which part of you attracted that issue? For what purpose?

Remember the ‘wet and dry’ of life. You can’t know what love or joy is without knowing what not-love and not-joy is.

21 Wisdom

Wisdom

Life’s journey is about discerning that part of you that attracts love from that part that doesn’t – and putting that wisdom into practice.

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(If you feel you can’t put your heart and soul into practice then ‘act as if’. Pretend, like an innocent child, with no ulterior motive other than the curiosity of seeing what happens.)

Picture sourced from Handwriting Analysis

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Tip for the Day: Combine Patience with Serenity

13 Patience

Patience

12 Serenity

Serenity

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Practise patience and view all things around you with serene eyes. The world will no longer withold the love you were born to receive.

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α

(If you feel you can’t put your heart and soul into practice then ‘act as if’. Pretend, like an innocent child, with no ulterior motive other than the curiosity of seeing what happens.)

Pictures sourced from Handwriting Analysis

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.

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If you want a successful relationship you need to feel good about yourself.

Tree of AveburyThe seed of a strong relationship, its foundation, must grow into a solid root(ed in truth). Otherwise, we create an unsustainable imbalance. The relationship will eventually topple or die on the vine because it lacks equilibrium.

Lack of equilibrium between two people, develops when:

  1. One partner destabilises the other by bringing them down (and keeping them there).
  2. The ‘stronger’ reinforces this and reminds the ‘weaker’ partner of the consequences of their actions
  3. The ‘stronger’ provides the ‘weaker’ with the solution to their ills. But this is the ‘stronger’ partner’s will and bidding, not the ‘weaker’ partner.

Like a seed, a relationship starts its life very much in the dark. We know not of what lies ahead – nor appreciate what it (the seed of the relationship) can become. After the flush of ecstasy during the first few days/weeks/months together, something unexpected happens. One or both partners find themselves getting upset.

People, who get upset easily, will not succeed in the onerous setbacks that most relationships (or challenging journeys) bring from time to time. The more upset we get, the more we do not feel good about ourselves and the more we often hide about ourselves.

We may bottle our feelings up at first. We keep quiet. We fear that we will upset (or not be seen as good enough by) our partner. Eventually, when we reach exasperation point, we can boil over and let our negative emotions fly. It’s not love that lets fly, it’s fear.

Four escalating, warning signs that tell you are heading for a setback in your relationship (extract from Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return):

We all go down this path now and then. It becomes easier to avoid the path to disappointment and setback, once you can read the signs:

  1. You easily get upset; means your pride is hurt. When you get emotional quickly and easily, you give your power to those you get upset with. You are clouded with emotion. You cannot see out what to do. Others cannot see in. You isolate yourself.
  2. Less power leads to low self esteem. You do not feel good about yourself. This leads to fear.
  3. Fear of further upset and isolation: in extreme cases you despair and turn to others and do their bidding – in order to maintain some form of connection. This is not love or friendship. It is….
  4. Mind control: someone else has you under their thumb. This is not love. It is manipulation of power. You have no way out, until you release the fear to get out from under.

As real as it feels, fear is illusory. And illusion is only dispelled by truth. For a relationship to fulfill its potential wholly, it must pass through the stage in its development called ‘truth’, in which there are no hidden agendas. Feelings and intentions are shared openly and honestly.

We observe a spiral effect. As fear is dispelled, (and as) more truth is revealed, more fear is dispelled, and so on. Counter-wise, fear serves to hide the truth, which when hidden creates more fear, and so on. (Such a fear-based relationship thus cannot get past the hidden agendas that hold it back.)

We choose with every decision we make, which way the relationship travels the spiral, up or down, truth or fear, oneness or separateness, love or power (control).

Real love is borne inside out. We need to feel good about ourselves from the inside, and not solely because someone else (i.e. our partner) makes us feel good about ourselves. We thus free ourselves to stand in our truth without any shield behind which to hide our fears. It can appear that we are making ourselves defenceless. But truth drives out falsity. Our defencelessness is thus our strength, to share a relationship rooted in truth.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

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The S(piritual)-Curve of ‘Dragon Steps’

Most us have to take many steps to find, open, become and express our true nature. In my book, Defrag your Soul, I refer to these as spiritual steps. According to ancient Chinese and Druidic wisdom, though we may take many spiritual steps in our lives, there are fundamentally 7 key levels of consciousness development, known by the Chinese as dragon steps. These are the major steps we take to increase our vibration to the highest level a human can attain – Level 7. (I ain’t there – yet!)

Towards the end of each of these dragon steps we meet the most resistance – in the form of shame, anger, sadness/hurt and most of all fear. The most negative of these emotions often dwell in our subconscious. In his insightful book, The Missing Secret, Joe Vitale calls such negative emotions, subconscious counter intentions. They form the lowest parts of the aggregate vibration we project out into the world.

rubber band stretching

We operate in an elastic bandwidth. What stops us increasing our consciousness (wisdom of truth) is the lowest part of our vibration. We can only climb as high as the lowest part of our vibration permits (or stretches).

(picture courtesy of Rogue Christianity)

Let us stay with the ‘elastic band’ metaphor. Counter intentions pull us down and enabling intentions pull us  upwards. As the ‘elastic band’ stretches we meet  resistance. Our lowest vibration stops us pulling ourselves upwards (and vice versa).

As we climb, resistance increases, we slow down. Our climb begins to level off as if we are approaching the end of an S-bend in our consciousness expansion.  The levelling off means we really have to stretch ourselves to make the last ‘few yards’ to ‘step up’ from one ‘S’ to the next. When the ‘elastic-band’ (our pysche) is fully stretched – and we must be sure not to snap it – we can only pull ourselves upwards (raise our consciousness) by releasing pressure (negative emotions) from the downward pull.

s-curveUpon approaching the uppermost part of the S-bend in this leg of our journey we slow down, we cast out that which no longer serves a purpose. (Picture courtesy of X-Ray Delta.) Sometimes though we cling on – either through fear or ignorance. That which we don’t let go of drains our energy. We are now at the highest part of this leg of our climb – AND the air is thin. Our negative emotional baggage (which was always going to be the heaviest part to unload anyway) thus feels a lot heavier. If we are not careful, we can drain our very life force until we are on reserves and then running on empty. Yet somehow we keep going and THEN…

We let go. We may panic. BUT we also realise there’s no  useful reason for going back – we have passed the step up point of no return. We can allow ourselves to slow down, take a breather. Take baby steps as we make our way forward.

We’ve achieved self mastery of the last dragon step. We are both Magician (self master) at the last level and Fool (as in the Tarot) at the next. So we put trust in ourselves – listen carefully to our intuition and start the next step.

Like the fool, who is naive as to what they are about to face, we trundle along gaily until we start the next stretch of our climb.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

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The Law of Reversibility – the What and How – more Powerful than the Law of Attraction

An extract from 

Defrag your Soul

Image from http://exper.3drecursions.com/

The Law of Reversibility

If situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state, then inducing that same emotional state will manifest the same events and people into your life. Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, should you really want it. It requires focus, imagination and faith – in yourself.

(But you also need to know clearly what you are manifesting.)

About the Law of Duality

To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.

So…

Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things that you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.

The Law of Reversibility is far more powerful than the Law of Attraction. Rather than attract what you don’t have, you know you can have exactly what you want. It already exists in the field of unlimited possibilities. Manifesting requires practice, faith and imagination. Try it.

Imagination – takes place in your mind. It means place an image-in-ions (atoms). Your conscious mind passes the information (your emotional state) pertaining to that image to your unconscious mind. The unconscious mind then signals your DNA to send out the corresponding vibe to the universe.

 DNA – is your transmitter to the universe. It transmits your signal of how you are feeling in the moment – your vibe. Its signal is governed by your unconscious mind.

 Unconscious mind – passes the decisions made by the conscious mind to each and every body cell in your body. It also collects the vibes you pick up unknowingly and stores that information away too. It protects you from information that it feels you cannot cope with. All the information, good and bad, is stored away in your holographic Etheric Body. Each and every body cell is a fractal (the whole is contained in each fractal) of your Etheric Body’s hologram. 

 Body cell – Each and every body cell contains your whole life history, your memories, feelings, reactions and actions, everything that’s happened to you knowingly and unknowingly. It is placed in cellular memory.

 Vibe – is the vibration that your DNA sends out to the universe. You can increase the power of this vibe by acting as if you already have what you seek.

 Act as if – The brain executes the same neural pathways in the same way, whether you’re viewing real life situations or dreaming about them. The mind cannot tell the difference between the real world and an imaginary world. By acting as if you already have what you want in your imagination – you fool the mind into thinking the same. The conscious mind thus directs the unconscious mind to inform your DNA to send out a corresponding vibe. Over time, you attract what you want, as long as you keep faith in yourself and live your dream.

Soul – The body cells that constitute your physical body, inform your soul of the direction you seek to take. The soul cross references your intentions and behaviours with its quest – your life purpose. Soul then signals, via the mind, spirit to inform it of the new experiences it seeks to attract.

Spirit – is the force which manifests form: people things and events, to take you down your chosen life’s path, to your true self, your soul’s quest. But spirit can only manifest via the mind. The decision as to what to manifest is taken by the mind. The mind contains four things that sully spirit’s power to attract what your soul wants: guilt, anger, sadness and fear – the four seeds of karma.

Karma – you invoke a karmic response when you veer from the path of your chosen life’s journey. Karma tells you that you are allowing guilt, anger, sadness and fear to cloud your decisions; that you have gone astray.

False ego – is the keeper of guilt, anger, sadness and fear. It’s has a dual edged sword type of existence. It holds on to these negative emotions and attempts to control your mind with them. But also, it knows full and well that its purpose is to reveal the source of these negative emotions to you when the time is right – so that you can release them. In a paradoxical way, your false ego beckons your light. It knows when to submit to your light to shine within in its dark shadows. Each time you shine more light into your false ego’s shadows, you take a spiritual step on your chosen life’s journey – toward your true self.

Spiritual steps – are what you take when you allow and release all the guilt, anger, sadness and fear in your life that stops you from taking that step. Each step takes you closer to your true self.

True self – the purpose of your life is to find, open, become and express your true self. If you don’t know it already, you find the purpose of your life by following your passions. Once you find out what your purpose is, you open up it up to understand the implications it holds for you. Becoming your true self takes time. You have to find and open each spiritual step on the way. As you take each step, you become closer to your true self. You gain wisdom. You complete that step when you apply that wisdom to serve humankind. You shine. You express more of your true self – a deathless solar star.
Shine on…!
    /|\
Paul C Burr

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