Posts Tagged hurt
Solar Eclipse around 10am BST, 1 Sept 2016, in Virgo
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Astronomy, Current Affairs & The Economy, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on September 1, 2016
In just under 2 hrs from now, as I draft this, we will be subject to an annular solar eclipse. Those in Africa, who will see the full eclipse, will observe a ring of fire at its zenith. Alas, we are too far north, here in the UK, to even see a partial eclipse. BUT….
It seems to be a heavy duty and complex configuration of planets going to be activated, astrologically speaking. I won’t go into the astro details but the ‘planets’, asteroids and special-points-in-space involved, include…
- Sun/Helios – the revealer of truth who never judges but shines love and compassion
- Moon – the queen of your emotions and emotional journey in life
- Neptune – who influences the illusion [eg addictions, external (non-)reality] in your life so that you eventually discover truth(and is at his most powerful as he swims in Pisces)
- Saturn – the lord of karma and its timing
- The North Node of the lunar eclipse – influences your direction in life and brings to light things you know least about
- Uranus – the ‘Che Guevara’ of planets who can bring about rapid, unexpected change/revolution
- Eris – the goddess of strife
- Juno – the goddess of relationships
- Black Moon Lilith – the goddess of the high-most spiritual love and your innermost darkness at the same time
All but the last two have hard aspects to the Sun/Moon conjunction – which, in simple terms, means the possibility of conflict, tension, upset, strife, rebellion and revolution. BE WARY!!!
Now there ain’t a lot I want to say about what might or might not happen on a global level so I’ll stick to the advice I am trying to take heed of for myself, personally – and I’ve already had one run in!
- Don’t exert yourself so that you end up exacerbating any physical disability
- You may find yourself desirous to do something which the adolescent you wants to do (eg drink, smoke, gamble et al) but the mature you is saying “hold back”. Saturn is around to help you set boundaries and keep your focus on what’s best for you, specifically your physical and emotional self. But if you step outside these boundaries then Saturn might well return any transgressions, you make, back to you – only amplified.
- Watch your back, stay alert. Something or someone may sneak up on you and cause an upset. If you see it coming, stay cool.
- One or all the above may invoke a disconnection. This is not because of someone being right or wrong, it’s about people not being able to see others’ perceptions.
By standing back, staying cool by rising above the situation, you will see it for what it is. And you will be secure in the wisdom it brings – so that any decisions you make, as a result, are better informed. Avoid making a rash decision which is often Mars’ wont .
One love, stay cool
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Actor and Model
Facebook: Beowulf (>14,000 followers)
Mindfulness – Wakening to the Framework of What-Is and What-Is-Not, The Law of Reversibility
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Poetry, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Training & Development, Visions and Dreams on November 10, 2015
(The Foreword to my forthcoming booklet, The Threefold Death – Mindfulness: Wakening to the Law of Reversibility)
Image courtesy of interestingcreativedesigns
The Law of Reversibility
Situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state. The reverse holds true too; inducing that same emotional state will manifest those same events and people into your life.
Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, yet unseen, vibration. This is the paradox of duality. For ‘something’ to be present, ‘not-that-something’ also exists, at the same time. For example, when you ask someone to marry you, they may say, “yes” (success) or “no” (not-success). You know the shape of a building because the air around it is not-that-building.
So how can you apply this principle to life and death? Answer: it requires a fundamental reframe.
The opposite of death is not life, it is birth. Life is eternal.
Paraphrased from Eckhart Tolle
There is no such thing as death in the traditional sense of its definition. Upon death, the physical body returns to its constituent elements and consciousness leaves the body, unseen, reborn into the vibration it came from. Death and birth are coincidental. You give birth to new levels of consciousness in life by bringing death to, killing, those things that you allow to stop the birthing process. And…
You can only bring death to, or kill, that which you have power over (i.e. the properties of things you own or control): your personality, your feelings, your outlook – and how you perceive, and thus respond to, the information you amass through your five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste). You do not have control over the events and people in your life – but you always have control over how you respond to them.
Author’s extract from Defrag your Soul: If you perceive life negatively for a few hours, people will think you’re in a mood. If your negativity lasts a few weeks, others may think that you’re depressed. If your negativity sustains over a longer term, others will define you as someone with a negative personality – or of a negative character.
Your outlook in life shapes your responses to its peaks, middles (“Glass half full, half empty?”) and troughs. Your sustained responses, define your character – and thus your destiny…
All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character … (and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.
CC Zain
A deeper process of ‘personal alchemy’ is at work…
Strength of character comes not from a life of ease and tranquillity but from a life in which our hearts, minds and sometimes bodies are pitted against forces we do not understand.
Paraphrased from The Druid Plant Oracle, by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm
Change in your consciousness is only brought about by changing your character; ergo, changes (preceded by deaths) to certain aspects of your personality and feelings, which in turn are shaped by the framework of how you perceive the information you gather through your five senses. Life, at some level, is thus about opening, as Aldous Huxley so eloquently puts it, the doors of perception AND shaping your character accordingly and consciously.
As you open the doors, you waken to the framework of what-is and what-is-not, the principles of spirit and matter, the Laws of the Light, the framework of truth borne of justice, just-is. It requires focus, imagination, faith in yourself, and a cleansing of the mind.
“All whom I love I teach, but first confute,
Thus from their minds all errors to uproot.
For truth by biased minds is ne’er divined,
Therefore seek wisdom, but first cleanse the mind.”
(From Message to the Hierarchy of Selene, from The Restored New Testament: The Hellenic Fragments…, by James Morgan Pryse)
Otherwise you will not know clearly whether you will manifest what you want or its polar opposite, its duality…
The Paradox of Duality
To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.
So…
Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.
My forthcoming booklet describes three fundamental deaths (or reframes) to aspects of personality, feelings and perception of what-is and what-is-not – or as the story of Merlin portrays, The Threefold Death.
These three reframes are fundamental to your wakening.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model
Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)
Druid Science – The Death or Rebirth of Incompletions
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Coaching, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on July 4, 2015
An extract from my forthcoming booklet (working title), The Threefold Death: the changes you make to approach inner wakefulness.
Of Spirit Force…
I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume, behind this force, the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter.
Max Planck, 1917
Image courtesy of Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestial Science
The future ‘dies’ when it meets the present – which ‘dies’ instantaneously into the past. There is plenty of evidence to prove what has happened in the past. Statisticians, economists and scientists gather evidence to project what will happen in the future. Despite all the evidence, the past no longer ‘is’ and future ‘is not’ yet present.
The only moment that truly ‘is’, is the present. Yet there is no evidence that the present tense exists – by this I mean, as close as scientists get to it, the present tense cannot be experienced through our five senses; it thus cannot be measured. What scientists measure instead is the before and after effects of ultra-micro interactions in time and space: for example, proton collisions, using the Hadron Collider in Switzerland. The Present Tense – which cannot be measured directly – is termed by scientists as a singularity point.
According to The Big Bang Theory, the universe started with such a singularity point. We can measure to within a zillionth of a second what happened after its inception, but we are not sure what banged – and the question of ‘why’, what-banged banged, transcends philosophical, religious, mystical, spiritual, and metaphysical domains.
The same holds true for black holes and dark matter. Scientists know of their existence because of the effect they have on things that can be observed and measured. Mathematical theory suggests that time and space collapse into nothing, a singularity point, at the centre of a black hole.
Time and space emanate from singularity points and ultimately return. And what fills that time and space (according to Planck and the ancients) is but a projection of the universal mind – of which you are an essential part. Through your mind you project thoughts, speak words and commit actions. And…
You are governed by The Laws of the Light and The Law of Consequences which, collectively, invoke dharma (Divine will) and karma (consequences).
The Laws of the Light:
When you commit to a journey, in line with your and others’ consciousness needs, at the right time and place, what you need will come your way.
The Law of Consequences:
What you project (do, say and think) out to the universe, returns to you amplified.
You attract, in/from the future, everything that is complete as well as incomplete in your approach to achieving your goals in life.
- Completion: When something within is complete; you do, say, think, and feel things borne of the heart – love, light, compassion, patience, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You will have The Laws of the Light with you.
- Incompletion: Unchecked, will invoke things you do, say and think not borne of the heart but instead borne of anger, shame, hurt, or fear.
I shall focus primarily on incompletions.
Should you learn and act appropriately from future’s gift (‘present’), you ‘complete your incompletion’. The incompletion unifies with its duality and thus is no longer perceivable by the mind. Zero projection by the mind means ‘it’ no longer exists in time and space. ‘It’, your completed incompletion, dies into the Present Tense, your true nature.
Should you ignore (or remain ignorant of) your incompletion, it travels unacknowledged into the past only to resurface again in (or back to) the future. Why? Because your mind is still projecting this incompletion through your thoughts, words and deeds.
The most common example, I know of, is the troublesome relationships that we invoke, time and time again. Relationships that keep repeating until we learn what we need to learn about ourselves and then ‘do’ something different in our approach. I have fallen foul of this as much as anyone I know.
Incompletions (recap: the inner things in me that attract the outer things I allow to make me feel angry, ashamed, hurt or fearful) keep being reborn in my life until I transcend to become my true nature – the love, light, truth and gnosis: the chokmah or wisdom of the I-am, the Je-suis, the Je-su(i)s within – as one of the standing stones in a circle at Stonehenge. This is my purpose in life.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model
Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)
Let’s Dispel some Myths about Addiction
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized on February 25, 2015
An extract from my forthcoming book, How to Be a Friend of the Devil Within (Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 2 & Mindfulness Exercises in Relationships, No 2).
Author’s note – The scientific citations in this section are drawn from Zeitgeist Moving Forward by Peter Joseph – for me, a life changing movie.
I define addiction as any behaviour that is associated with craving, with temporary relief, and with long term negative consequences, along with an impairment of control over it so that the person wishes to give it up or promises to do so – but can’t follow through…. (Author: when speaking of) drugs… television… video games… work-aholism… power… wealth… oil…
Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society
One of the most crazy-making and yet widespread and potentially dangerous notions is: “Oh, that behaviour is genetic”.
Dr Robert Sapolsky, Professor of Neurological Sciences, Stanford University
No substance, no drug nor behaviour by itself is addictive… so the valid question is “What makes a person susceptible to being addictive to a particular substance or behaviour?”
(Paraphrased) Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society
I recently came across an article that substantiates the non-addictiveness of substances, in the case of heroin, in The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think, by Johan Currie, author of Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs (ref: The Huffington Post, 23/1/2015). Currie reports of a study that some 20% of soldiers serving in the Vietnam War became addicted to heroin. Upon returning home, some 95% of the addicted soldiers – according to the same study – simply stopped. Very few had ‘rehab’. The cause of the heroin addiction seemed to be the untenable environment of war. When the addicts returned to everyday life, the causation, for most of them, atrophied.
But what about the 5% whose addiction did not atrophy simply?
We have to look at the whole life experience… and that process begins in the womb.
For example, if you stress mothers during pregnancy, their children are more likely to have traits that predispose them to addictions…
(Paraphrased) Dr Gabor Maté, Physician and Author, Portland Society
The above scientifically-validated statements concur with…
The relationship we share with our mothers, from the ‘information’ they share through their blood (e.g. stress related hormones or agents from substances such as alcohol or tobacco) in the womb, through to the early years of childhood, shapes the relationship we have with our own physical bodies.
Druid wisdom
By considering addiction as a process of physical-self-abuse, you can perhaps see how ancient wisdom is concomitant with scientific study. People with unresolved, especially serious, issues with their mother are more likely to inflict abuse on their own physical bodies, through addictions or other forms of self-harm.
With specific regard to addiction, let us consider the words of Brené Brown. She advises that…
“You cannot numb yourself from hurt and fear without numbing yourself, at the same time, from joy and love.”
Through addictions, you cut yourself off from your awareness of the light and shadow within. And, in doing so, you effectively cut yourself off from your journey to love, your spiritual journey. Your life shall remain incomplete.
Fortunately, you have an inner entity to help you. His name is Set, the devil within. [Set etymologically became Saturn and Satan. We celebrate Sat(urns)day every week. See my book, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within, for further explanation.]
Author’s note – I have addictive traits to my personality but I have never considered myself to be addicted to a life threatening substance. I, thus, cannot speak ‘first-hand’ about tackling issues associated with alcoholism, drug addiction or other compulsions.
Friends of mine, who admit to being “addicts” or “users” in recovery, have successfully used the 12 Step Programme. Originally published by Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 Step Programme nowadays is recognised as de jure by many of the leading organisations (e.g. Narcotics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous) who help people to live a new and healthy lives, through new codes of behaviour.
References: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program, http://www.aa.org/, http://www.na.org/, http://www.oa.org/
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers) Follow @paulburr
The Journey to Self-worth, Self-love and ultimately, Love – Starts with…
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Coaching, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on December 19, 2014
(This blog is an extract from a forthcoming book I’m writing with the working title, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within)
Three Constituents and their Dualities…
- Accept vulnerabilities: as necessary to the human condition. Avoid allowing them to dictate your actions. Avoid denying them. Learning from vulnerability is fundamental to knowing what being invulnerable means. That’s the paradox of duality – you know something is wet because you know it’s not not-wet, i.e. dry.
To understand invulnerability, allow yourself to ‘be ok being vulnerable’. As you learn more about vulnerability (defencelessness), you learn more about ‘not-vulnerabilty’, invulnerability.
Image courtesy of Cernonnos
Defencelessness becomes your strength – when you learn to apply its wisdom.
- Learn to be okay with uncertainty. For example, when you commit to a journey, you may not arrive at your intended destination. Likewise, when you allow yourself to fall in love, that love may be rejected or lost. Learn to avoid trying to control people to adhere to your will. Love is only achieved through choice and freedom and living with the uncertainty that choice and freedom imply. Put another way…
If you want to change something stop trying to control it.
- Self-love does not mean that you or life has to be perfect. You were designed to be incomplete. By all means strive to improve yourself or the life you lead AND ‘don’t beat yourself up for being imperfect’. You, your friends and acquaintances, your children and your enemies, none are perfect.
This is what researcher and storyteller, Brené Brown, says about raising children in a generation that has the highest rate of drug dependency, obesity and debt in history…
Our job is to say (to our children), “You know what? You are imperfect, you are wired to struggle – BUT you are worthy of love and belonging”. That’s our job. Show me a generation of children raised like that and we’ll end, I think, the problems we see today.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
Be clear about your intended outcomes and commit to the journey to achieve them. The outcomes will not necessarily be spiritual. Yet the journey to complete – that which is incomplete (incomplete self-worth, incomplete self-love and incomplete love) – is always spiritual.
Your True Nature Creates Love
Being okay with the three states: vulnerability, uncertainty and imperfection, means that you no longer hold yourself back with emotions (anger, shame, hurt and fear) that stop you from expressing your true nature. Not feeling angry, hurt, ashamed or fearful allows you to embrace these four disabling-emotions’ dualities (enabling-emotions):
1. Not-anger = compassion and patience
2. Not-shame = self-worth and faith-in-self
3. Not-hurt = joy and serenity
4. Not-fear = love.
Your true nature is to…
Create love, moment by moment, through a cocktail of compassion, patience, self worth, faith-in-self, completeness, serenity, and joy – with a twist of enthusiasm and will-power.
Shine on… & a Happy Winter Solstice!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers) Follow @paulburr
The War Between Not-love (Fear) and Love
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Poetry, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on August 8, 2014
A part-extract from my latest book: For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It), Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom, No 1, Parts I & II
“In the beginning was the logos, borne of love, Lilithian Love”
Lilithian Love, that which created ‘what is’, the present tense was later split into duality; ‘what is not’, the past tense, born from the present tense, is created. The mythical love between Lilith and Adam is ‘what is’. Eve, the past tense, the etymological root of ‘evil’, replaced Lilith who (according which legend) was either cast out or escaped into the wilderness. The war between the past and present began.
But which is Lilith?
Image from Voice of the Prophetic Blogspot
But the war that takes place around us mirrors the war within us – between the past and the present, between not-love (fear) and love.
Love is divine. All that is not divine is not love. Shame, anger, sadness and fear are not love, not divine, nor are they borne of love. They dwell in the past or future, not the now. They reside in the head not the heart. They exist to be released, not conquered or embraced. And when you release them, nothing holds you back from your journey beyond their illusory boundaries, to love, truth and oneness.
From my book, Defrag your Soul – define the word ‘divine’ as meaning ‘the highest spiritual influence of humankind’.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
Friendly (Psychic) Vampires – What to do when your buddy drains your energy
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on June 24, 2014
This is a combination of three extracts from my forthcoming book,
For The Love of Lilith
&
How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself To It)
Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 1, Parts I and II
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
You might start to experience feeling drained in the company of certain people whom you have known for some time. By and large, you’re used to spending extended periods of time with them. You may be doing or talking about ordinary day-to-day things with them. Yet for some reason their company starts to drain your energy. What’s happening?
Unbeknownst to you both, they are tapping into your chi and taking it for themselves. At a subconscious level they want your energy. Your wariness is not activated because you enjoy their company. After a period of time and for no apparent reason, you may experience an anxiety attack or feel tired. You don’t see it coming and they don’t know that they are depleting your life-force.
It occurred two or three times with each friendly vampire I know before I noticed what was happening. If you notice an ‘attack’ happening to you, find some activity, on your own, every 2-3 hours, to repair your energy levels, e.g. meditation, exercise or tai chi. And perhaps, see your friendly vamps less often until you are strong enough to withstand any attack.
Leaks feel like small ‘port holes’ in your body. I had a pair in my back, positioned roughly where my kidneys are. During and after a psychic attack, the ‘port holes’ were created by what, I imagined to be, a pair of teeth would feel like once they’ve sunk into your skin. I’ve also had another pair just below my cranium at the back of my skull.
I say “had” because my task was and yours is to…
Shore up the chi-leaks and clean up: cleanse and erase the port holes.
Here’s technique I came up with to help myself. It took me about six months to shore up the leak holes through which my friendly vamps drained my chi. If you use it I hope it will alleviate any discomfort and provide you with a wealth of intuitive information (like it did for me).
Self-help to Release Blocks, Shore Up Leaks and Erase Port Holes
In practical terms if you feel you may have been ‘attacked’ (You will anger, hurt, shame, fear or perhaps drained of energy), scan your body. Notice where you feel the negative emotion. For example, when hurt badly I feel a block in the centre of my chest, and when stressed I get a block about four inches higher, in the centre of my sternum.
1. Close your eyes and take two or three deep breaths. Regulate your breathing to a count of 4 on each inhalation and exhalation.
2. As you exhale, ‘breathe light’ into the affected part of your body through your Third Eye or Brow Centre, just above and between your eyebrows until some level of composure returns to you.
That upon which light shines becomes that light
St Paul
3. The more you practise, the stronger your imagination, the quicker the time to releasing the negative emotion so that a sense of composure fills your body.
Composure is the ability to neither feed nor fight the most negative of emotions (anger, hurt, shame, and fear) when under duress.
Recite an affirmation to help you avoid feeding or fighting the negative emotion. For example, I recite the phrases…
I place the word ‘stillness’ in my mind.
I place the word ‘peace’ behind my heart.
I place the word ‘power’ in my abdomen.
… as I shine light on to the affected part of my body.
Allow any information stored in the affected area of your body to travel back up the ray of light. With patience you may receive insight into the nature of unconscious fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs you hold about yourself.
Once you receive such wisdom you have the opportunity to act on it. Notice, for example, where and how you over-react to situations. Make the linkages with lingering fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs.
You can place these issues into imaginary bubbles in front of you and shine light into the bubbles as well. Notice any changes in the appearance of the bubbles as you do this and any corresponding changes that go on in your body and mind.
(End of blog)
Please feedback your experience using the above technique over a period of time. Many thanks.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
The Mystique to the Game of Life
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on July 29, 2013
Extracts from my forthcoming booklet (now in draft form, being proof-read):
The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love)
#Mindfulness in Relationships Series, No 1
Have you ever loved someone so dearly and have that love not returned? The other person shares everything apart from their love. They refuse to surrender themselves to the process of love; the unconditional surrender of freedom to the commitment that love requires.
Have you ever felt sick to the stomach over unrequited love?
Have you ever yearned in your heart or loins for someone when your head is telling you…
- “This is absolutely the wrong partner for you”?
- “Bottom line, she/he just doesn’t fancy you”?
- “You and him/her, it’s never going to happen”?
Or something like
- “She/he simply doesn’t love you the way you love her/him”?
Your head judges, your loins desire sexual fulfilment and your heart seeks to share love. I call this the Head, Heart and Loins dynamics of a relationship. When all three are aligned, within and between partners, their relationship is probably in good shape to meet the outcomes they seek. (The same holds true for a personal friendship whether there is a sexual element to that friendship or not.) I speak neither of good nor bad, nor moralise. I speak of the process of achieving a purpose through the journey to the goals you set for the relationship, be those goals profound or for short term recreation.
Mindfulness, sometimes referred to as being present in the moment, is the process of creating love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness in the moment (by moment) – regardless of whether these vibrations are returned or not. It takes mindfulness to fulfil a relationship’s true purpose, which curiously can be achieved whether the goals are achieved or not.
For example, in movies and songs I’ve heard the phrase, “You complete me”. Well if someone’s purpose is to become complete and they set a goal to find someone who completes them – what happens should they achieve completeness? They no longer need someone else for that purpose.
Other people don’t complete you. You find ‘completeness’ through the journey to ‘completeness’; you find ‘oneness’.
Mindfulness is the vehicle by which to travel the journey.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
TftD: The Paradox of Joy and Hurt
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 20, 2013
“The person who hurts you is often the person you run to, in order to feel better.”
Image sourced from Moments Count
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Neither Feed nor Fight Fear
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 23, 2012
Spirit doesn’t work through intellect. Spirit affects feelings that pass through the mind to be interpreted and experienced. If the conscious mind is receptive to these feelings, you feel good, you can become high spirited. Your conscious mind passes the feeling of goodness to your unconscious mind – which despatches signals to your DNA to expand and increase their vibration. Your DNA rejoices. You send out a good vibe to the universe.
Image sourced from Scrape TV
When the feelings despatched by spirit touch a “nerve,” a fear, your mind becomes unreceptive. This fear passes straight down into your unconscious mind, on to your DNA, which sends out a negative vibe to the universe. It wasn’t spirit that sent you a negative feeling, it was your mind that transmuted spirit’s signal into fear. Spirit can’t force you to choose courage instead of fear. It tells you. You intuit what spirit says. Your intuition might prompt you to choose courage – but your conscious mind has power of veto. So listen to spirit carefully.
When your intuition tells you to, choose courage. And when you’re completely honest with yourself, your heart will create boundaries to protect you. Choose the courage to allow fear into your conscious psyche. Neither feed nor fight that fear. Acknowledge it and let it be. Your unconscious mind has then no negative signals to send to your DNA.
Allow fear space. Let it be. Fear that is neither fed nor fought gets “bored eventually – and leaves. Spirit rewards courage and honesty with protection.
The learning process, to allow fear space, is subtle. Fear’s subsequent release is even more subtle. It’s not an intellectual process. But once you have experienced a release, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes your fear might be unconscious. In which case go get professional help to unearth it. Find out what it is, where it came from, how you got it, who gave it you – and the impact it’s had on the decisions you make in life. And when you find out…..
Let your fear be. Take your time. Tread one step at a time with spirit. There’s a temptation to rush ahead; fill in the blanks to missing wisdom with fantasy; join dots that aren’t meant to be connected. Tread carefully, honestly, courageously and diligently. Find your truth.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
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Paul C Burr 