Paul C Burr
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Posts Tagged negative emotions
Shame, Not-self-love, Is the First Step toward Mind Control
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on March 21, 2013
As a child I was taught to (do things that) please God and fear the Devil. By the age of 12, I allowed a cleric’s sermon to make me feel ashamed for all the ‘wrong’ things I did, thought and felt – like most young folk do, think and feel as they reach puberty. Much later I realised that guilt or shame is half of the ‘carrot and stick’ deal that parents, governments and some religions use to ‘control’ children, the populace and followers respectively.
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
When you allow someone else to make you feel not good about yourself, you accede to their first step in mind control. Their intent is that you do their bidding, not your own.
To avoid mind control, you need to understand the nature of your own shame; you need to venture into your own ‘underworld’ to find the sources of that shame. Especially those things your parents did that made you feel ashamed as a child and perhaps hid away deep within you unknowingly.
You may not know consciously all the sources of shame you possess and may need some form of ‘plutonic’ awakening to unearth them. Shame is a gap between how you perceive you are and how you’d like to be. In my life I’ve been ashamed of being overweight, of hurting people but the deepest and most profound shame (that I’ve only recently discovered) was that I was not worthy of my parents’ love. And if I was not worthy of their love, I was not worthy of self-love. And if I was not worthy of self-love then I was worthy to love someone else – because I can’t give what I don’t possess. My shame stultified my capacity to love and be loved in return.
When you do something out of shame you may allay feeling that shame, but you never rid yourself of it. You can’t atone shame – but you can release it. You release shame by practicing self-forgiveness.
I’ve shared how my understanding of forgiveness has evolved in two previous blogs (Replace Forgiveness with Accountability and Client:-”I Can’t Forgive Myself.” – “You Don’t Need To.”).
In a nutshell:
Self-forgiveness is not about one part of you saying to another, “Even though you did wrongly I forgive you”. It’s about releasing all judgement.
Shame is a form of not-self-love that lives in your head, rent free. Self-forgiveness is allowing that not-self-love to leave completely.
When not-self-love leaves, all that remains is self-love; what’s in your head aligns with the love you hold in your heart.
You become love wholly.
Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, anger, Chakras, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, negative emotions, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, shame, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
TftD: The Paradox of Joy and Hurt
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 20, 2013
“The person who hurts you is often the person you run to, in order to feel better.”
Image sourced from Moments Count
Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
abusive relationships, consciousness, courage, daily thought, fear, hurt, joy, karma, laughter, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, negative emotions, negative feelings, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
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"...excellent (sales) training with my guys. What have you done to them? Outstanding...."- Graham Hill, CEO, Verbatim, The Phone Answering Service. Aug 2015.
"Paul C Burr is always worth reading. He is erudite, experienced and thought provoking. Highly recommended!" - Nigel Temple, CEO, Marketing Compass, http://www.marketingcompass.co.uk/
"For The Love of Lilith, it's a great book !!
I read it from the end to middle then back to the beginning to the middle. This way worked for me. But I am always going back on it when my intuition requests it." - Gabi, London
(After 'clearing of fears that hold you back'.) "Thanks to you, I've been awarded a government grant for my project. This week has been amazing. You're not just a creator; you're a deliberate creator. Keep sending those vibrations and witness magical appearances." - Jonathan Buffong, Author
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, "... a must read for both novice and experienced salespeople..." - Chiahou Zhang, Author
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, “I work for a large American IT company, and can say this is a hugely powerful book to articulate what is required to get to Board level. To really understand what the CEO and C level executive summarise as valuable and impactful, and in a condensed easy-to-digest format, is phenomenal. I find Paul C Burr's style of writing easier to digest and apply in any sales situation; it crystallises where the true business value add is delivered and how you really have strategic partnerships. I have just got number 2 book and look forward to reading this with excitement - which is saying something as my concentration span can be limited. Thank you.” - Amy Lambkin, Amazon review
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, “I loved it... it was great. I’ve encouraged many of my directors to buy a copy as it’s very pertinent to my company” - paraphrased from a top performing B2B salesperson for a global IT Services organisation.
"Letting go of fear and negativity, I feel like I am now seeing everything in glorious technicolour, have been given the space to dream and together with reciting the affirmations, I feel wonderful :-) "
Sameera de Silva, London
"I would like to thank Paul for sharing his impressive skills and enabling me to finally connect, and disconnect, with the last thread of the old me. His etheric cleansing process is quick and easy and allows for instant access to the valuable information that empowers you to create the clearing and changes most required. I would recommend this process to absolutely anyone on a spiritual path and to individuals caught on the hamster wheel of life, where little progress is seen for the amount of effort put in. Paul's cleansing is precise and swiftly creates the shift you've battled to create for yourself."
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return: "One of the best books I have read & worked with...."
"Your coaching took my life to another dimension and I live with my head high because of you.Thank you."
Charles Burton, Personal Trainer, Dancer, European Amateur Natural Bodybuilding Champion
“Paul, Thank you for your inspiring, in-depth and highly informative session last week, you taught me to unblock all my inner fears and to know why they were there in the first place. You are a calm influence, and it was your confidence which inspired me so much, as you are not at all egoistic in your guidance. You have shown me the side of myself I always wanted to greet, but didn’t believe was there.
You gave me the greatest gift I could ever have received which is to know my own being, and this is why I will always be grateful, and never forget our work last week. I now have found the path to not only happiness, but wisdom too. They say happy is the wise man, and I might add happy is this wise woman, through meeting a wise man, thank you again.”
Georgie Shellis, Harrow
Money barely represents what a single session is worth."
“I cannot echo enough what Naomi in Hove says ” Money barely represents what a single session is worth”. What you have done for me has literally changed my life with it’s amazing instant and personalised affect. My physical pain after one week of the session has been halved, so impressive that my Osteopath noticed it, my back less rigid for instance. And as for my formerly traumatic life, well now I understand my purpose, why things happened in childhood etc. I know feel like a sea bird observing its life, perched high on a cliff top, and like that bird, I feel that I have the entire navigational control of my life. For the first time I might add in forty two years so far! Thank you Paul, immensely,”
Emma Andrews – Brighton
"I would never have expected it but after 10 years of emotional dependence, I am now totally not bothered by it, this is amazing!”
“I already feel very differently. It can be hard to come to terms with change when it's not what you want, even though you know resistance is futile, but now I can see where I'm headed, it's easier to accept that the change is already in progress and that it's a good thing, thanks again.”
Gemma (via telephone), London
AMAZON: 5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
C. L. Eveleigh (Reading, UK)
This review is from: Learn to Love & Be Loved in Return: Making Relationships Last (Paperback)
This is a book about much more than romantic relationships. It is written with wonderful honesty and sincerity about love, the breakdown of relationships and how we relate to one another. It is a book that provides great insights into our own behaviour, as well as how we relate to others. It immensely readable, and I'm finding myself dipping into it over and over again for the many ideas, exercises and insights within its covers. Highly recommended whether you are in a relationship, just starting one, or looking for a relationship that will last.
Paul’s engaging style and personable character perfectly suit professional coaching. I have completed a recent programme. My performance, at work, has gone from strength to strength. I am now equipped with the tools to take me to previously unimagined business heights. Thank you Paul!
Robert Syrad, Erevena, Executive Search Services
Paul’s genius for business coaching helped me get clarity on a number of issues very quickly. I trust Paul as my coach. I appreciate his honesty and business expertise. In particular, I really value Paul’s flexibility in stepping into the role of a mentor, when he can see the benefit of doing so.
Is there any point in me saying that Paul comes highly recommended?
Romilla Ready, Lead Author, NLP for Dummies
"…your coaching technique! Bloody amazing".
Claire Dickson, Former Management Development Director
with Dixons and United Biscuits
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Paul C Burr PhD
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Quick Guide VII – A Top-notch, Sales-Relationships, Account Management Template
Quick Guide VI – How to Sell Coaching
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:US UK & Createspace
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:US, UK & Createspace
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:US , UK also Createspace
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:US & UK also Createspace
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:US, UK also Createspace
Defrag your Soul
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:UK,US also Createspace
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return
My Shelfari bookshelf
- The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
- [ Chiron and the Healing Journey ] CHIRON AND THE HEALING... by Melanie R Reinhart
- Druidcraft Tarot Deck (Tarot Cards) by Phillip...
Retired: Business & Personal Performance Coach, Author, Researcher, Speaker, Energy Healer and Singer.