Posts Tagged sadness

TftD: Changing your Character, Changes your Life

ChangeMan1Image courtesy of Blaze Institute

…All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character…..

the chart of birth….is merely a map of character…..

(and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.

CC Zain

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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TftD: The 4 Seeds of Negative Karma that Hold you Back

Extract from Defrag your Soul….defrag eye6.5x9.25 v5

Only four things hold you back from that which your heart truly desires….

1.       Shame

 There is no shame in failure but failure is endemic to shame.

2.      Anger/Resentment

 Resentment is like poisoning yourself whilst waiting for someone to die.

 Better still,

 Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.

Sourced from the Internet.

 3.      Sadness/Hurt

 I’ve cried, and you’d think I’d be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.

Conor Oberst

 4.      Fear

 F. E. A. R. = False expectations appearing real.

These four negative emotions serve a purpose. For example, when you have learned all you need to know about shame, you have readied yourself to appreciate not-shame – i.e. to feel good about yourself. To appreciate a high vibration fully, you need to know about its exact opposite.

Such is duality:

  • Shame –> not-Shame –> e.g. feel okay, feel good, self compassion, caring for self, trusting self, self worth, self liking, self love, love
  • Anger–>not-Anger–>e.g. composed, relaxed, fondness, love
  • Sadness–>not-Sad–>e.g. joy, happiness, serenity, expansion, wisdom, love
  • Fear–>not-Fear–>courage, faith, fearlessness, stillness, wisdom, love.

The opposites of all four seeds of negative karma lead ultimately to love. When you release shame, anger, sadness and fear, you journey towards love, borne of oneness, borne of the divine.

Where does life’s journey take me?

To truth, your truth, love, oneness, your divine self.

Duality: anything that is not truth, not love or not oneness is not divine.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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TftD: Truth Goes Hand in Hand with Trust but Ultimately Surpasses It

Honesty

Honesty

Being honest often requires courage. And courage is about letting go of fear and trusting yourself.

Trust is the gap between what you know to be true and what you have faith in.

And truth drives out falsity.

Have faith in, and be true to, yourself (“above all else” as the Bard once said.)

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Shame, Not-self-love, Is the First Step toward Mind Control

GuiltAs a child I was taught to (do things that) please God and fear the Devil. By the age of 12, I allowed a cleric’s sermon to make me feel ashamed for all the ‘wrong’ things I did, thought and felt – like most young folk do, think and feel as they reach puberty. Much later I realised that guilt or shame is half of the ‘carrot and stick’ deal that parents, governments and some religions use to ‘control’ children, the populace and followers respectively.

Illustration by Andrea Kurucz

When you allow someone else to make you feel not good about yourself, you accede to their first step in mind control. Their intent is that you do their bidding, not your own.

To avoid mind control, you need to understand the nature of your own shame; you need to venture into your own ‘underworld’ to find the sources of that shame. Especially those things your parents did that made you feel ashamed as a child and perhaps hid away deep within you unknowingly.

You may not know consciously all the sources of shame you possess and may need some form of ‘plutonic’ awakening to unearth them.  Shame is a gap between how you perceive you are and how you’d like to be. In my life I’ve been ashamed of being overweight, of hurting people but the deepest and most profound shame (that I’ve only recently discovered) was that I was not worthy of my parents’ love. And if I was not worthy of their love, I was not worthy of self-love. And if I was not worthy of self-love then I was worthy to love someone else – because I can’t give what I don’t possess. My shame stultified my capacity to love and be loved in return.

When you do something out of shame you may allay feeling that shame, but you never rid yourself of it. You can’t atone shame – but you can release it. You release shame by practicing self-forgiveness.

I’ve shared how my understanding of forgiveness has evolved in two previous blogs (Replace Forgiveness with Accountability and Client:-”I Can’t Forgive Myself.” – “You Don’t Need To.”).

In a nutshell:

Self-forgiveness is not about one part of you saying to another, “Even though you did wrongly I forgive you”. It’s about releasing all judgement.

 Shame is a form of not-self-love that lives in your head, rent free. Self-forgiveness is allowing that not-self-love to leave completely.

 When not-self-love leaves, all that remains is self-love; what’s in your head aligns with the love you hold in your heart.

You become love wholly.

You shine!

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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TftD: The Paradox of Joy and Hurt

hurt happy“The person who hurts you is often the person you run to, in order to feel better.”

Image sourced from Moments Count

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr

Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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May ‘La Force’ Be With You

Willpower + Commitment + Self Trust = Faith in Yourself

Slightly revised extract from Defrag your Soul

Hu-man did not invent the wheel, the steam engine, the aeroplane or the nuclear bomb without the capacity to imagine each invention in the first place – along with willpower, commitment and trust in its own ability to create such inventions. The same holds true for the future you seek for yourself.

11 StrengthTo invoke such ‘magic’ you need to perceive your ‘image-in-ions’ as highly desirable and have faith in yourself. You may find you need that faith in yourself for many other reasons:

The road can be long and hard.

 I found thousands of ways how not to make a light bulb.

I only needed one way to make it work.

(Paraphrased from) Thomas Edison

You can meet many setbacks and stumbling blocks. Being a Leo, I’ve found affairs of the heart to be the biggest area of learning. The area, more than anywhere else, where in the past I have disowned facets about myself. Such setbacks and heartaches required a vast amount of patience with myself as well.

You may be ridiculed, ignored and isolated.

 All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Arthur Schopenhauer

Revolutionaries: Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Oscar Wilde and Pink Floyd were all ridiculed either by their peers or the media before the world accepted the beauty and wisdom of their works.

When truth attempts to usurp not-truth, those protectors of not-truth in power often do all they can to suppress it; without bringing it or the truth tellers to the public’s attention.

Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.

Albert Einstein

In my early years when I first got into spirituality, I was prone to be outwardly enthusiastic about my journey within. Most of the people around me were not into ‘it’ at all.

When, for instance at a wine party, I started spouting off about “shining light into my inner darkness”, I would get different types of response.  The minority would show interest but the silent majority would remain quiet and walk away to join another group who talked about ‘normal’ things. Some who objected strongly to what I was saying would let me know of their views in no uncertain terms. Others would ridicule me face to face or behind my back. It is often easier to ridicule something than to face it; especially when that something invokes fear in you.

There’s a paradox too. If I’m attracting ridicule, is it because I fear it? Probably yes. In the meantime, I do my best to avoid responding to ridicule with ridicule or any other animalistic response. Sometimes I fail.

You may choose to isolate or distance yourself.

I go to the occasional reunion where others see changes in me. I no longer take much interest in ‘normal’ day-to-day small talk, like who is going to win ‘the current Saturday night TV contest’ or get thrown out of some ‘reality’ show. Many of my interests have changed and, perhaps more significantly, my perspective has changed.

For example, I feel distanced when people complain about being the victims of an economic recession that we have collectively created. At the same time, I ask myself, “Why have I attracted this conversation? I wonder where I am not being accountable for what I receive in life; whom or what am I blaming?”

I do not consider myself superior in any way and do my best not to come across as an evangelist. It’s that I’ve moved on. If people ask my opinion about the latest TV game show, I probably don’t have one. If we’re discussing global events, I speak my views.

I prefer to distance myself from day-to-day chatter or ‘complaining about the system’ – both of which I might have engaged in once upon a time.

I still ‘rabbit on’ a lot about two of my passions though: football and music (probably more than I do about spirituality J) and, undoubtedly, I distance a few people from myself in the process as well.

You may be opposed violently.

When all other attempts at their suppression fail, truth tellers face their sternest test; to stand firm and risk physical harm from those who stand to fall by truth. I could cite religious, political and civil-rights leaders, pacifists and innocent people – all whom have been attacked, beaten and some murdered ignominiously to prevent truth from being revealed to, or sustained in, the world.

What others do not do to you, you may do to yourself.

Without willpower, you limit the depth of your learning; you only go so far and you only get so much in return. When you commit yourself 100% to a project, that’s what you can receive in return, 100%. On the other hand, if you commit less than 100%, you get at best what you put into it and sometimes you get nothing. Ask any seasoned salesperson.

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Act as if you make a difference. Act as if you count. Act as if and you will…

Notice the focus is on your journey, more than the outcome.

From Warrior to Magician

By Paul C Burr

Toward the flower in full bloom,

Full Truth in the noonday sun.

Devoid of ego, it casts no shadow.

With no nooks and crannies to hold darkness,

All it can now do is give of itself.

Unafraid of being cut down (crucified) by those, in power, who fear Truth.

 

The Warrior stands bereft of armour, sword and shield,

Secure in what they know is Truth.

No words of explanation required.

No fear to control or manage.

The darkness embraced.

The fear dissolved.

 

Armed with only Truth and compassion,

The Warrior thus becomes the Magician.

This is the way of the Tarot.

This is the true definition of White Magic.

Tis called redemption.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Tip for the Day: Truth in a Relationship

truthTruth drives out falsity, the mother of lack-of-trust. When trust, the bedrock of a relationship, crumbles you have nothing to build on.

Image sourced from Jeff Beck

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr

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Self-Coaching Tool about Relationships.

Social web network marketing diagram.

Rather than seeing success as a specific outcome, change your focus to seeing it as a network of  ’10 out of 10′ relationships. When everyone who can stop you achieving success is onside – there is no one and nothing to stop you.

Image sourced from Think Holistic, Act Personal

You cannot achieve success without forging equally successful relationships – starting with the relationship you have with yourself.

Think of a business or personal situation that’s important to you right now.

Who are all the people (include yourself) who can stop you from being successful (i.e. they have the power of veto)?

Give your relationship with each person a score out of 10, where 10 means ‘the relationship with this person is exactly where we both want it to be’.

To get the relationship to a 10, what does each person on the list want from you?

Are you willing to give it? (And what might you want in return?)

If so when?

Go give.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Tip for the Day: The Purpose of Duality

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Take a quiet moment to yourself. What’s the biggest issue you face? Now look at yourself in an imaginary mirror. Which part of you attracted that issue? For what purpose?

Remember the ‘wet and dry’ of life. You can’t know what love or joy is without knowing what not-love and not-joy is.

21 Wisdom

Wisdom

Life’s journey is about discerning that part of you that attracts love from that part that doesn’t – and putting that wisdom into practice.

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(If you feel you can’t put your heart and soul into practice then ‘act as if’. Pretend, like an innocent child, with no ulterior motive other than the curiosity of seeing what happens.)

Picture sourced from Handwriting Analysis

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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Tip for the Day: Combine Patience with Serenity

13 Patience

Patience

12 Serenity

Serenity

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Practise patience and view all things around you with serene eyes. The world will no longer withold the love you were born to receive.

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(If you feel you can’t put your heart and soul into practice then ‘act as if’. Pretend, like an innocent child, with no ulterior motive other than the curiosity of seeing what happens.)

Pictures sourced from Handwriting Analysis

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.

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The Psychic Vampire, Unseen in the Mirror

psychic attackThey suck you in. You[1] don’t feel their fangs puncture your neck. One minute you are drawn to the creature’s alluring charm. The next, you are smitten by their mesmerising power that deceives and lulls you into submission. You allow them under your skin and your life-force starts to bleed out of you.

What was the attraction to someone so beautiful, in dire need of your help? Was it ‘noblesse-oblige?’ What reward did you seek for your chivalry and kindness? Did you hope that you would receive a thank you in the form of love – be it physical, emotional or spiritual? If not, did you seek the dependency of another to satisfy your own false-ego? Either way, you belong to them for now.

You feel an urge to rescue the creature from all its woes. You pay each ‘bill’ they send your way – in the form of time, money, physical and emotional energy. You submit to the creature’s will. You allow yourself to become psychically enslaved. You, the ‘rescuer’, become their ‘victim’. They, ‘the victim’ become your ‘persecutor’. The deeper you allow their ‘bite’; the greater the duress, intensity, frequency and duration of the energy that flows out from your life-force.

You chastise and remonstrate with them your frustrations but you still hold back – for fear of losing them completely. They tell you how wrong and misguided you are – but not for too long. They feign a weakening of spirit. They reveal their inner hurt to you and place themselves at your mercy. Duped, you feel worse for their suffering than you do your own – and so they ensnare you again. You give all your power to them once more and they take it, only more voraciously than ever.

They may not even be wholly aware of the powers they have over you and others like you. It’s as if they can’t help themselves. They possess an insatiable desire for all that you (and others) have to give and more. Yet they show no signs of giving you that one thing you want most from them, love. They show no willingness or capability to love you, the way you want them to love you.

For they can only love someone (or something) that they can’t have. They are doubly bound by not-love – as by now are you. Loveless, they feed on the life-energy of those like you so that they don’t face their biggest and most misguided fear… the fear of love itself.

They choose not the courage to love and be loved. They can only conjure an illusion of love-liness. Love, to them, is a game of smoke and mirrors. Unresolved issues from their childhood cast too dark a shadow in which for them to venture to find love. And so they live in a half light, capable of hypnotic power but incapable of love – not there, right now, with you.

And still you persist with the vision of light that you see inside the creature; wishing, hoping, or perhaps convinced, that they will share it with you one day. But no inner-beacon shines your way. You sicken and tire. You live from minute to minute in servility. You give when you have no more to give and still the blood-letting of your life energy continues until…

You sicken and tire of being sickened and tired by your addiction to this illusory hero/ine. The day comes when you bid “begone!” and hold nothing back. The creature leaves knowing that you truly have nothing more to give.

You both suffer. The habit is not broken yet – ‘cold-turkey has got you (both) on the run[2]. Given the chance, the vampire returns to test your mettle. They try to ensnare you again but this time it’s different, you’re different. They realise that all you can share with them is your truth – the truth of your feelings (regardless of the correctness/incorrectness of your perceptions). And truth drives out all falsity, including theirs. You thus bid a farewell that is ‘final and definite’ – and so the task of grieving really starts.

Day by day, week by week, month by month, the hurt lessens; the clouds of anger, sadness, shame and fear dissipate. Slowly but steadily, you regain your power. You seek to learn from the devastation you allowed to be inflicted upon you. As you reflect in the ‘mirror that was you’, you begin to realise (real-eyes) the nature of a now-familiar dark energy within yourself.

You account for how it was you who attracted the creature. You recognise a like-for-like, psychic and vampiric part of their nature within yourself. You appreciate more fully the depth and nature of the pain you have caused, or been capable of causing, others.

You see more clearly the definition of love, innately incorrect, given to you by your parents. You bring to the surface unresolved issues with your parents that you’ve carried all your life. And now you can bid farewell to these issues from your past.

Now you have the chance to resolve the unresolved. Today you ‘throw those curtains wide’ and allow the light (the same light that you saw hidden inside the creature) of the sun within you to shine throughout your whole body and radiate beyond. Through willpower, patience and courage you release the psychic vampire inside. Once gone, it never needs to return.

You graduate from the Wisdom School to the Love School – and that’s another story.


[1] When I say ‘you’, I mean you, me, I, we, anyone.

[2] from Cold Turkey by John Lennon

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr

Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.

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Taking Spir(itu)al Steps

le mat le-bateleur

“When you achieve mastery at one level, you become a blithering idiot at the next level up, at the same time.”

Dr Thomas Maughan, Chief Druid, The Druid Order, London, 1964-76

Read more….. in Kindred Spirit magazine

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr

Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.

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If you want a successful relationship you need to feel good about yourself.

Tree of AveburyThe seed of a strong relationship, its foundation, must grow into a solid root(ed in truth). Otherwise, we create an unsustainable imbalance. The relationship will eventually topple or die on the vine because it lacks equilibrium.

Lack of equilibrium between two people, develops when:

  1. One partner destabilises the other by bringing them down (and keeping them there).
  2. The ‘stronger’ reinforces this and reminds the ‘weaker’ partner of the consequences of their actions
  3. The ‘stronger’ provides the ‘weaker’ with the solution to their ills. But this is the ‘stronger’ partner’s will and bidding, not the ‘weaker’ partner.

Like a seed, a relationship starts its life very much in the dark. We know not of what lies ahead – nor appreciate what it (the seed of the relationship) can become. After the flush of ecstasy during the first few days/weeks/months together, something unexpected happens. One or both partners find themselves getting upset.

People, who get upset easily, will not succeed in the onerous setbacks that most relationships (or challenging journeys) bring from time to time. The more upset we get, the more we do not feel good about ourselves and the more we often hide about ourselves.

We may bottle our feelings up at first. We keep quiet. We fear that we will upset (or not be seen as good enough by) our partner. Eventually, when we reach exasperation point, we can boil over and let our negative emotions fly. It’s not love that lets fly, it’s fear.

Four escalating, warning signs that tell you are heading for a setback in your relationship (extract from Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return):

We all go down this path now and then. It becomes easier to avoid the path to disappointment and setback, once you can read the signs:

  1. You easily get upset; means your pride is hurt. When you get emotional quickly and easily, you give your power to those you get upset with. You are clouded with emotion. You cannot see out what to do. Others cannot see in. You isolate yourself.
  2. Less power leads to low self esteem. You do not feel good about yourself. This leads to fear.
  3. Fear of further upset and isolation: in extreme cases you despair and turn to others and do their bidding – in order to maintain some form of connection. This is not love or friendship. It is….
  4. Mind control: someone else has you under their thumb. This is not love. It is manipulation of power. You have no way out, until you release the fear to get out from under.

As real as it feels, fear is illusory. And illusion is only dispelled by truth. For a relationship to fulfill its potential wholly, it must pass through the stage in its development called ‘truth’, in which there are no hidden agendas. Feelings and intentions are shared openly and honestly.

We observe a spiral effect. As fear is dispelled, (and as) more truth is revealed, more fear is dispelled, and so on. Counter-wise, fear serves to hide the truth, which when hidden creates more fear, and so on. (Such a fear-based relationship thus cannot get past the hidden agendas that hold it back.)

We choose with every decision we make, which way the relationship travels the spiral, up or down, truth or fear, oneness or separateness, love or power (control).

Real love is borne inside out. We need to feel good about ourselves from the inside, and not solely because someone else (i.e. our partner) makes us feel good about ourselves. We thus free ourselves to stand in our truth without any shield behind which to hide our fears. It can appear that we are making ourselves defenceless. But truth drives out falsity. Our defencelessness is thus our strength, to share a relationship rooted in truth.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr

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The S(piritual)-Curve of ‘Dragon Steps’

Most us have to take many steps to find, open, become and express our true nature. In my book, Defrag your Soul, I refer to these as spiritual steps. According to ancient Chinese and Druidic wisdom, though we may take many spiritual steps in our lives, there are fundamentally 7 key levels of consciousness development, known by the Chinese as dragon steps. These are the major steps we take to increase our vibration to the highest level a human can attain – Level 7. (I ain’t there – yet!)

Towards the end of each of these dragon steps we meet the most resistance – in the form of shame, anger, sadness/hurt and most of all fear. The most negative of these emotions often dwell in our subconscious. In his insightful book, The Missing Secret, Joe Vitale calls such negative emotions, subconscious counter intentions. They form the lowest parts of the aggregate vibration we project out into the world.

rubber band stretching

We operate in an elastic bandwidth. What stops us increasing our consciousness (wisdom of truth) is the lowest part of our vibration. We can only climb as high as the lowest part of our vibration permits (or stretches).

(picture courtesy of Rogue Christianity)

Let us stay with the ‘elastic band’ metaphor. Counter intentions pull us down and enabling intentions pull us  upwards. As the ‘elastic band’ stretches we meet  resistance. Our lowest vibration stops us pulling ourselves upwards (and vice versa).

As we climb, resistance increases, we slow down. Our climb begins to level off as if we are approaching the end of an S-bend in our consciousness expansion.  The levelling off means we really have to stretch ourselves to make the last ‘few yards’ to ‘step up’ from one ‘S’ to the next. When the ‘elastic-band’ (our pysche) is fully stretched – and we must be sure not to snap it – we can only pull ourselves upwards (raise our consciousness) by releasing pressure (negative emotions) from the downward pull.

s-curveUpon approaching the uppermost part of the S-bend in this leg of our journey we slow down, we cast out that which no longer serves a purpose. (Picture courtesy of X-Ray Delta.) Sometimes though we cling on – either through fear or ignorance. That which we don’t let go of drains our energy. We are now at the highest part of this leg of our climb – AND the air is thin. Our negative emotional baggage (which was always going to be the heaviest part to unload anyway) thus feels a lot heavier. If we are not careful, we can drain our very life force until we are on reserves and then running on empty. Yet somehow we keep going and THEN…

We let go. We may panic. BUT we also realise there’s no  useful reason for going back – we have passed the step up point of no return. We can allow ourselves to slow down, take a breather. Take baby steps as we make our way forward.

We’ve achieved self mastery of the last dragon step. We are both Magician (self master) at the last level and Fool (as in the Tarot) at the next. So we put trust in ourselves – listen carefully to our intuition and start the next step.

Like the fool, who is naive as to what they are about to face, we trundle along gaily until we start the next stretch of our climb.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr

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The Early Years, 0-14: Kidding Is No Joke (extract from Defrag your Soul)

emotions-cone

Courtesy of Social Literacy Today

Kids take in everything. Only recently have I discovered the extent to which parents influence their children’s whole lives, way beyond the age they leave home. Kids accept and live the Law of Attraction with full accountability and responsibility.

A child seeks love, security, warmth and touch. When a child receives not love, not security, not warmth or not touch, that child accepts full responsibility for not receiving what they want. Furthermore, it blames itself for having neither the physical nor the intellectual strength to deal with untoward behaviour in a mature adult fashion. It doesn’t know how to channel the negative emotions (shame, anger, sadness or fear) that arise within. How could it?

The child feels helpless about how to cope and so locks away the negative emotions in a shield or ‘bubble-wrap’ of etheric energy. The child develops compensatory behaviours (e.g. remaining silent, denying/blocking negative thoughts about others, blaming self) that shield its conscious mind from the negative emotions hidden within its shadows.

This is not a mature decision and it’s not exclusive to children. How well do we adults react in such situations? Ask yourself, “How often do I…

  1. …hide my hurt or sadness to avoid confrontation?”
  2. …resort to anger to get what I want?”
  3. …manipulate someone emotionally to get what I want?”
  4. …use brute force to get my way?”
  5. …harbour ill feeling?”

None of the five strategies are mature acts, I suggest.  Let us look at Strategy 1 because that is how many people I know deal with confrontation to begin with. Many adults, including me, when faced with controversy, let things be and say nothing. We either do not have, or choose not to employ, an effective strategy to deal with unwanted or inappropriate behaviour. Instead, we remain silent. We hope the issue will die down, go away and all will be forgotten in time. Let us not confuse weak with meek.

  • When weak, you put yourself second, you subsume yourself to someone else with disregard for your own feelings. You place their feelings above your own and you hide behind a veil but the negativity lingers. You feel shame from not speaking or being your truth. You feel shame because you choose not the courage to be meek.
  • Lion-and-Lamb-1-168x168Meek, I suggest, is putting your honour on an equal status with those around you. You do not need to use brute force to get your point of view across. You do not resort to conflict, anger or threatening behaviour. You do not manipulate or seek to instil anger, sadness, fear or shame in others either. Instead you seek to put your point across constructively, positively and truthfully – so that others understand the impression they make on you. Your seek parity, not to win outright. You speak or act according to your truth. You choose courage to be meek.

Picture courtesy of Doves and Serpents.

If we act ‘not-meekly’, i.e. weakly, how can we expect children, to whom we set an example, to choose courage?  Furthermore, kids not only take in every conscious thing that’s going on around them, they take in all the untold, unsaid things as well. They absorb, at a subliminal level, all the endemic family moods, trouble and strife. They register the negative vibrations from their environment and store the information in their Etheric Body (a blog about the Etheric Body will follow). They/we develop compensatory behaviours; one or more of the five strategies cited earlier to cope.

Kids blame themselves for all the feelings of insecurity they endure. They make themselves fully accountable and responsible for the untoward behaviour of their parents, for instance. They convince themselves that they caused it and therefore they blame themselves accordingly. (The very morning of writing this paragraph, a lady who had suffered child abuse appeared on the BBC1 TV morning show. She described the complexity and paradox of how a child can still love a parent who abuses them.)

In her wonderful and insightful book, Your Secret Self,[1] Tracy Marks explains the subtle logic of this childhood dynamic. If the child were to blame their parents for untoward behaviour and place themselves as completely innocent (which they are) without the intellectual or physical ability (which they do not have) to change their environment; they, in effect, relinquish all power (to change things) and hope for their lives.

On the other hand, if they consider their untoward parents or carers to be normal loving people and blame themselves for everything that happens – then at least they give themselves hope. They give themselves the ability to ‘rectify’ themselves in the hope that their parents will show the love and security they seek.

Faced with a no -win situation, the child blames themself, wraps away the negative emotions in their subconscious mind and develops compensatory behaviours. They hide their feelings away. In denial, they pretend that all is okay with their parents. But they can withdraw from wanting or expecting love. Their self worth plummets.

A damaging behavioural subroutine sets in. It can stay with the unloved, insecure child into their adult lives. In their adolescent years they may well seek escape. Their susceptibility to drug addiction and, in extreme cases, self harming increases.

(continued in Defrag your Soul)

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr


[1] Ref: Your Secret Self, by Tracy Marks, Part Three, The Psychodynamics of Twelfth House Conflicts and Part Four, The Process of Integration: Twelfth House Liberation.

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Defrag your Soul: audio recording of talk about parts of the this forthcoming book, due for publication Summer 2012

Click here: DEFRAG YOUR SOUL
Transform your Consciousness:
a practical guide for the beginner and seasoned traveller within…

Illustration by Andrea Kurucz, selected as part of a gallery of drawings for Defrag your Soul.

Extended extract from a talk I gave to the National Federation of Spiritual Healers, on Saturday 12 May 2012, in central London. The talk contains some topics from my book, Defrag your Soul, due for publication in Summer of 2012.
Parts of the talk include:

  1. Beyond NLP
  2. What is your purpose in life?
  3. Duality
  4. How do you take spiritual steps on your journey within? How do you know you’ve taken them?
  5. The Etheric Body aka The Vital Body
  6. The links between the Etheric Body and Health
  7. The path to magic

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

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Your Inner Child Has a Message…..

By listening carefully to the voice of your inner child, you develop your intuition. You tune into its messages. Call it “intunition.” At the same time, you become aware of the feeling when you veer away from the child’s advice. You detune. You cease to trust yourself.
Self trust is the “engine oil” to give and receive the very best, to and from the world around you. Not-self trust means you give and receive second best at best. You undervalue yourself and your immense power.

Extract from my forthcoming book, 2012: A Twist in the Tale, that I intend to serialise on its own blogsite. Watch this space.

Image sourced from Abused Empowered Survive Thrive

 

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

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The Alchemy of Life: from Low Self Worth to Self Worth

When you filter out, ignore or deny feelings of low self worth, you filter out self worth as well. Remember, the “wet and dry” of life. You can’t know one without the other. So life is about knowing self worth and its shadow, low-self worth. When you understand both and how to transmute the shadow into light, then you understand the alchemy of life.

Image sourced from Spagyric Arts

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

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Love your Bubble of Fear

Allow your fear into your consciousness. Place it in a bubble. Neither attempt to hold the bubble nor prod it. Let the bubble float freely. Surround the bubble skin with love. Be patient. Wait for love’s miraculous power of osmosis to weave its magic. The fear will wave farewell.

Image sourced from Fine Art America

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr

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The Law of Reversibility – the What and How – more Powerful than the Law of Attraction

An extract from 

Defrag your Soul

Image from http://exper.3drecursions.com/

The Law of Reversibility

If situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state, then inducing that same emotional state will manifest the same events and people into your life. Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, should you really want it. It requires focus, imagination and faith – in yourself.

(But you also need to know clearly what you are manifesting.)

About the Law of Duality

To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.

So…

Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things that you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.

The Law of Reversibility is far more powerful than the Law of Attraction. Rather than attract what you don’t have, you know you can have exactly what you want. It already exists in the field of unlimited possibilities. Manifesting requires practice, faith and imagination. Try it.

Imagination – takes place in your mind. It means place an image-in-ions (atoms). Your conscious mind passes the information (your emotional state) pertaining to that image to your unconscious mind. The unconscious mind then signals your DNA to send out the corresponding vibe to the universe.

 DNA – is your transmitter to the universe. It transmits your signal of how you are feeling in the moment – your vibe. Its signal is governed by your unconscious mind.

 Unconscious mind – passes the decisions made by the conscious mind to each and every body cell in your body. It also collects the vibes you pick up unknowingly and stores that information away too. It protects you from information that it feels you cannot cope with. All the information, good and bad, is stored away in your holographic Etheric Body. Each and every body cell is a fractal (the whole is contained in each fractal) of your Etheric Body’s hologram. 

 Body cell – Each and every body cell contains your whole life history, your memories, feelings, reactions and actions, everything that’s happened to you knowingly and unknowingly. It is placed in cellular memory.

 Vibe – is the vibration that your DNA sends out to the universe. You can increase the power of this vibe by acting as if you already have what you seek.

 Act as if – The brain executes the same neural pathways in the same way, whether you’re viewing real life situations or dreaming about them. The mind cannot tell the difference between the real world and an imaginary world. By acting as if you already have what you want in your imagination – you fool the mind into thinking the same. The conscious mind thus directs the unconscious mind to inform your DNA to send out a corresponding vibe. Over time, you attract what you want, as long as you keep faith in yourself and live your dream.

Soul – The body cells that constitute your physical body, inform your soul of the direction you seek to take. The soul cross references your intentions and behaviours with its quest – your life purpose. Soul then signals, via the mind, spirit to inform it of the new experiences it seeks to attract.

Spirit – is the force which manifests form: people things and events, to take you down your chosen life’s path, to your true self, your soul’s quest. But spirit can only manifest via the mind. The decision as to what to manifest is taken by the mind. The mind contains four things that sully spirit’s power to attract what your soul wants: guilt, anger, sadness and fear – the four seeds of karma.

Karma – you invoke a karmic response when you veer from the path of your chosen life’s journey. Karma tells you that you are allowing guilt, anger, sadness and fear to cloud your decisions; that you have gone astray.

False ego – is the keeper of guilt, anger, sadness and fear. It’s has a dual edged sword type of existence. It holds on to these negative emotions and attempts to control your mind with them. But also, it knows full and well that its purpose is to reveal the source of these negative emotions to you when the time is right – so that you can release them. In a paradoxical way, your false ego beckons your light. It knows when to submit to your light to shine within in its dark shadows. Each time you shine more light into your false ego’s shadows, you take a spiritual step on your chosen life’s journey – toward your true self.

Spiritual steps – are what you take when you allow and release all the guilt, anger, sadness and fear in your life that stops you from taking that step. Each step takes you closer to your true self.

True self – the purpose of your life is to find, open, become and express your true self. If you don’t know it already, you find the purpose of your life by following your passions. Once you find out what your purpose is, you open up it up to understand the implications it holds for you. Becoming your true self takes time. You have to find and open each spiritual step on the way. As you take each step, you become closer to your true self. You gain wisdom. You complete that step when you apply that wisdom to serve humankind. You shine. You express more of your true self – a deathless solar star.
Shine on…!
    /|\
Paul C Burr

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