Posts Tagged law of consequence
Full Moon/SuperMoon ~ July 22, 2013 ~ in Aquarius, Sun in Leo
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Astronomy, Healing, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Visions and Dreams on July 21, 2013
Contemplate service and the satisfaction from giving. What have you done, since the last Full Moon, for the greater good without asking for anything in return?
What could you do more of or differently?
Commit to two actions. When you complete the first, commit to a further action. Keep two action steps in front of you always – so you know where you are going.
What is really good for you is good for all.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
The Game of Life
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Poetry, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Visions and Dreams on July 20, 2013
Extract from Quick Guide IV – A Scorecard that Accounts for Mindfulness in Business.
Adapted from Druid wisdom (ref: Light and Life, a series of booklets written by David Loxley, Chief Druid, The Druid Order, London).
Your purpose is more than to succeed. It is to learn and apply the wisdom needed to succeed.
Success is the goal, but life is the time and space that happens in between now and reaching that goal. You attract the future that comes towards you. The future presents you with what remains incomplete right now in your life. The future presents the present with the opportunity to learn about yourself, incomplete wisdom, and apply that wisdom – completeness.Should you complete what is incomplete, it travels into the past and need not return.
The Game of Life was understood by the Egyptians from the Ancient Kingdom.
Whatever travels into the past that remains incomplete ‘returns to the future’. Whatever issues (i.e. unlearned or unapplied wisdom) that remain incomplete, be they business or personal, return again and again until you complete them.
When you start something, complete it.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Follow @paulburr
How to Be at your Peak in Every Key Meeting
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Coaching, Leadership, Marketing, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development, Uncategorized on July 15, 2013
Extract from Quick Guide IV – A Scorecard that Accounts for Mindfulness in Business
Top performers do three essential things to be at their peak.
1. Clarify your outcomes for the meeting in hand and how you want the relationship with the person to develop, meeting by meeting, one step at a time. Moderate performers focus less on the latter dimension.
2. Be mindful of the frame of the mind you want to be in and that any meeting (is hopefully a meeting of minds) is ultimately about helping everyone present to frame a congruent viewpoint of what needs to be done.
3. Prepare your strategy, primarily so that you allow yourself to get in the frame of mind you want to be.
Research I’ve come across and my own experience shows that the most important thing you take into a meeting is your frame of mind followed by being clear about the outcomes you seek. Having a strategy is important but, once the meeting has started, it’s factors ‘2’ and ‘1’ above (and in that order) that will determine most how you ‘handle any curve balls thrown your way’.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Follow @paulburr
“I Feel Good, dah-dah dah-dah dah-dah-dah!”
Posted by Doctapaul in Affirmations, Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on July 11, 2013
Your outlook in life goes hand in hand with your personality. Personality is a long term habit. A habit is a long term mood. A mood is a long term feeling. So when you feel good and stay feeling good, you shape your outlook for the better. Do and say what feels good. If what you’re about to do doesn’t feel good, don’t do it!
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Follow @paulburr
Image courtesy of Fans Share
The Decisions You Make, Are They Borne of Love or Fear?
Posted by Doctapaul in book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on June 4, 2013
“We change the map of life itself by changing our attitude towards it.”
from The Mind of the Druid by E G Howe
(Probably the most profound book I’ve ever read. I’ve read it 4 times and I’m still trying to ‘get it!’)
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
The Currency of All Relationships: Truth, Trust and Passion
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Love, Marketing, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on May 28, 2013
TftD: Changing your Character, Changes your Life
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on April 5, 2013
Image courtesy of Blaze Institute
…All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character…..
the chart of birth….is merely a map of character…..
(and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.
CC Zain
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
TftD: The 4 Seeds of Negative Karma that Hold you Back
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on April 3, 2013
Extract from Defrag your Soul….
Only four things hold you back from that which your heart truly desires….
1. Shame
There is no shame in failure but failure is endemic to shame.
2. Anger/Resentment
Resentment is like poisoning yourself whilst waiting for someone to die.
Better still,
Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.
Sourced from the Internet.
3. Sadness/Hurt
I’ve cried, and you’d think I’d be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.
Conor Oberst
4. Fear
F. E. A. R. = False expectations appearing real.
These four negative emotions serve a purpose. For example, when you have learned all you need to know about shame, you have readied yourself to appreciate not-shame – i.e. to feel good about yourself. To appreciate a high vibration fully, you need to know about its exact opposite.
Such is duality:
- Shame –> not-Shame –> e.g. feel okay, feel good, self compassion, caring for self, trusting self, self worth, self liking, self love, love
- Anger–>not-Anger–>e.g. composed, relaxed, fondness, love
- Sadness–>not-Sad–>e.g. joy, happiness, serenity, expansion, wisdom, love
- Fear–>not-Fear–>courage, faith, fearlessness, stillness, wisdom, love.
The opposites of all four seeds of negative karma lead ultimately to love. When you release shame, anger, sadness and fear, you journey towards love, borne of oneness, borne of the divine.
Where does life’s journey take me?
To truth, your truth, love, oneness, your divine self.
Duality: anything that is not truth, not love or not oneness is not divine.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
TftD: New Moon in Libra Tonight
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 27, 2013
Full moon in Libra, heralds you to reflect on what you started in the quest of truth, justice and balance over the last lunar month. A time of completion by which your Crown Chakra irradiates the light of the Sun thoughout your body so that that you shine.
Your progress (luminosity) is impaired only by the untruth, injustice and imbalance by which you treat yourself. Avoid any self judgement too. Instead rebalance.
Your task, nay life purpose, is to shine.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
TftD: Truth Goes Hand in Hand with Trust but Ultimately Surpasses It
Posted by Doctapaul in Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 26, 2013
Honesty
Being honest often requires courage. And courage is about letting go of fear and trusting yourself.
Trust is the gap between what you know to be true and what you have faith in.
And truth drives out falsity.
Have faith in, and be true to, yourself (“above all else” as the Bard once said.)
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
Beowulf: Warrior, Magician & Therapist
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Poetry, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Visions and Dreams on March 23, 2013
Written some 1500 years ago, by an anonymous bard, Beowulf tells the story of a gallant hero who travels north to Denmark to slay the swamp beast, Grendel.
(Image: first page of Beowulf manuscript)
Grendel would visit the local King Hrothgar’s castle and set about killing all whom it encountered, carrying severed limbs and bodies back to its lair at the bottom of a deep dark lake.
Beowulf slays Grendel. That night there is much merriment and feasting, Beowulf and his men retire to a far part of the castle. A second creature enters the hall where many still celebrate. The creature, Grendel’s mother, the source of the problem, wreaks her revenge. Like Grendel, she retires to her lair and Beowulf sets off after her.
The presenting problem is never the real problem. The real problem lies behind all the presenting problems. When the real problem disappears, so do all of its presenting problems.
Beowulf approaches the edge of the lake. Below him in the deep dark abyss lies the beast in her lair. Before he descends there is great temptation to withhold and draw back but with courage – afforded by the finest sword, shield and armour – Beowulf steps forward and descends into the darkness, his darkness. Below, he and the beast engage in battle. He finds the magnificent sword, shield and armour – that protect him so well on the surface – serve no use in the darkness. Beowulf casts them off. He reveals his unprotected self, his complete vulnerability. Beowulf and the beast become one in combat and as they wrestle, Beowulf finds a luminous sword of light that hangs on the wall of the lair – a sword with which he slays the beast.
As Beowulf rises to the surface to reveal the beast’s head, he finds that the luminous sword dissolves. The luminous sword that worked in the darkness has no power in the known world. It leaves Beowulf unable to demonstrate its power. For others to understand the sword’s power, they must descend into darkness and find it for themselves. They must experience their own victory. They must choose courage.
We cannot stare at the sun in a noon-day cloudless sky.
Light cannot be seen in the light.
At midnight, the cloudless sky reveals infinity.
By clouds, I mean ‘clouds of emotion’ – shame, anger, sadness and fear.
Glory comes from our journey into the darkness.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
Shame, Not-self-love, Is the First Step toward Mind Control
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on March 21, 2013
As a child I was taught to (do things that) please God and fear the Devil. By the age of 12, I allowed a cleric’s sermon to make me feel ashamed for all the ‘wrong’ things I did, thought and felt – like most young folk do, think and feel as they reach puberty. Much later I realised that guilt or shame is half of the ‘carrot and stick’ deal that parents, governments and some religions use to ‘control’ children, the populace and followers respectively.
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
When you allow someone else to make you feel not good about yourself, you accede to their first step in mind control. Their intent is that you do their bidding, not your own.
To avoid mind control, you need to understand the nature of your own shame; you need to venture into your own ‘underworld’ to find the sources of that shame. Especially those things your parents did that made you feel ashamed as a child and perhaps hid away deep within you unknowingly.
You may not know consciously all the sources of shame you possess and may need some form of ‘plutonic’ awakening to unearth them. Shame is a gap between how you perceive you are and how you’d like to be. In my life I’ve been ashamed of being overweight, of hurting people but the deepest and most profound shame (that I’ve only recently discovered) was that I was not worthy of my parents’ love. And if I was not worthy of their love, I was not worthy of self-love. And if I was not worthy of self-love then I was worthy to love someone else – because I can’t give what I don’t possess. My shame stultified my capacity to love and be loved in return.
When you do something out of shame you may allay feeling that shame, but you never rid yourself of it. You can’t atone shame – but you can release it. You release shame by practicing self-forgiveness.
I’ve shared how my understanding of forgiveness has evolved in two previous blogs (Replace Forgiveness with Accountability and Client:-”I Can’t Forgive Myself.” – “You Don’t Need To.”).
In a nutshell:
Self-forgiveness is not about one part of you saying to another, “Even though you did wrongly I forgive you”. It’s about releasing all judgement.
Shame is a form of not-self-love that lives in your head, rent free. Self-forgiveness is allowing that not-self-love to leave completely.
When not-self-love leaves, all that remains is self-love; what’s in your head aligns with the love you hold in your heart.
You become love wholly.
You shine!
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
TftD: The Paradox of Joy and Hurt
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 20, 2013
“The person who hurts you is often the person you run to, in order to feel better.”
Image sourced from Moments Count
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
May ‘La Force’ Be With You
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Training & Development on March 19, 2013
Willpower + Commitment + Self Trust = Faith in Yourself
Slightly revised extract from Defrag your Soul
Hu-man did not invent the wheel, the steam engine, the aeroplane or the nuclear bomb without the capacity to imagine each invention in the first place – along with willpower, commitment and trust in its own ability to create such inventions. The same holds true for the future you seek for yourself.
To invoke such ‘magic’ you need to perceive your ‘image-in-ions’ as highly desirable and have faith in yourself. You may find you need that faith in yourself for many other reasons:
The road can be long and hard.
I found thousands of ways how not to make a light bulb.
I only needed one way to make it work.
(Paraphrased from) Thomas Edison
You can meet many setbacks and stumbling blocks. Being a Leo, I’ve found affairs of the heart to be the biggest area of learning. The area, more than anywhere else, where in the past I have disowned facets about myself. Such setbacks and heartaches required a vast amount of patience with myself as well.
You may be ridiculed, ignored and isolated.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Revolutionaries: Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Oscar Wilde and Pink Floyd were all ridiculed either by their peers or the media before the world accepted the beauty and wisdom of their works.
When truth attempts to usurp not-truth, those protectors of not-truth in power often do all they can to suppress it; without bringing it or the truth tellers to the public’s attention.
Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.
Albert Einstein
In my early years when I first got into spirituality, I was prone to be outwardly enthusiastic about my journey within. Most of the people around me were not into ‘it’ at all.
When, for instance at a wine party, I started spouting off about “shining light into my inner darkness”, I would get different types of response. The minority would show interest but the silent majority would remain quiet and walk away to join another group who talked about ‘normal’ things. Some who objected strongly to what I was saying would let me know of their views in no uncertain terms. Others would ridicule me face to face or behind my back. It is often easier to ridicule something than to face it; especially when that something invokes fear in you.
There’s a paradox too. If I’m attracting ridicule, is it because I fear it? Probably yes. In the meantime, I do my best to avoid responding to ridicule with ridicule or any other animalistic response. Sometimes I fail.
You may choose to isolate or distance yourself.
I go to the occasional reunion where others see changes in me. I no longer take much interest in ‘normal’ day-to-day small talk, like who is going to win ‘the current Saturday night TV contest’ or get thrown out of some ‘reality’ show. Many of my interests have changed and, perhaps more significantly, my perspective has changed.
For example, I feel distanced when people complain about being the victims of an economic recession that we have collectively created. At the same time, I ask myself, “Why have I attracted this conversation? I wonder where I am not being accountable for what I receive in life; whom or what am I blaming?”
I do not consider myself superior in any way and do my best not to come across as an evangelist. It’s that I’ve moved on. If people ask my opinion about the latest TV game show, I probably don’t have one. If we’re discussing global events, I speak my views.
I prefer to distance myself from day-to-day chatter or ‘complaining about the system’ – both of which I might have engaged in once upon a time.
I still ‘rabbit on’ a lot about two of my passions though: football and music (probably more than I do about spirituality J) and, undoubtedly, I distance a few people from myself in the process as well.
You may be opposed violently.
When all other attempts at their suppression fail, truth tellers face their sternest test; to stand firm and risk physical harm from those who stand to fall by truth. I could cite religious, political and civil-rights leaders, pacifists and innocent people – all whom have been attacked, beaten and some murdered ignominiously to prevent truth from being revealed to, or sustained in, the world.
What others do not do to you, you may do to yourself.
Without willpower, you limit the depth of your learning; you only go so far and you only get so much in return. When you commit yourself 100% to a project, that’s what you can receive in return, 100%. On the other hand, if you commit less than 100%, you get at best what you put into it and sometimes you get nothing. Ask any seasoned salesperson.
________________________________________
Act as if you make a difference. Act as if you count. Act as if and you will…
Notice the focus is on your journey, more than the outcome.
From Warrior to Magician
By Paul C Burr
Toward the flower in full bloom,
Full Truth in the noonday sun.
Devoid of ego, it casts no shadow.
With no nooks and crannies to hold darkness,
All it can now do is give of itself.
Unafraid of being cut down (crucified) by those, in power, who fear Truth.
The Warrior stands bereft of armour, sword and shield,
Secure in what they know is Truth.
No words of explanation required.
No fear to control or manage.
The darkness embraced.
The fear dissolved.
Armed with only Truth and compassion,
The Warrior thus becomes the Magician.
This is the way of the Tarot.
This is the true definition of White Magic.
Tis called redemption.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
TftD: Coincidence, Synchronicity, Clairvoyance and Magic
Posted by Doctapaul in Fun and Laughs, Personal, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Visions and Dreams on March 16, 2013
Happen to the world rather than have the world happen to you.
Keep a log of your life’s little (and big ) coincidences. Reflect on the mindset you hold that invokes these coincidences.
Image from The Police
Two days ago I was watching my favourite football team Newcastle United play Anzi. It was 0-0 with about a minute of normal time to go. I turned to the guy next to me and said, “It would be great if Cissé scored in the 2nd minute of extra time again” (as he’d done in Newcastle’s previous game, last Sunday against Stoke). Lo and behold, you know or can guess what happened next.
The same evening I was at a meeting where we discussed the ‘kill-all-bacteria’ panacea that hospitals deploy these days, rather than simply use hot soapy water and keep things clean. (Personally I’d rather learn to live with bacteria rather than encourage the mutation of the super-bugs we find in hospitals these days – but that’s another blog.)
Subsequently, the next morning, I was deep in thought about the Black Death plague that swept throughout Britain in 1348. (This was a time when people would deposit their chamberpots out of the bedroom window???) Ten minutes later I switched on the TV news to see that a mass grave full of Black Death victims had been unearthed during digging work on a new railway system in London.
I’ve experienced ‘coincidences’ regularly like these in recent years. So I’ve decided to keep a log of my (Law of Reversibility?) experiences and will keep you posted on what I learn. Please share with me what you learn should you choose to do this exercise.
It’s no coincidence that you’re reading this!
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
Tip for the Day: Truth in a Relationship
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 15, 2013
Truth drives out falsity, the mother of lack-of-trust. When trust, the bedrock of a relationship, crumbles you have nothing to build on.
Image sourced from Jeff Beck
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
Tip for the Day: The Purpose of Duality
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on March 13, 2013
α
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Take a quiet moment to yourself. What’s the biggest issue you face? Now look at yourself in an imaginary mirror. Which part of you attracted that issue? For what purpose?
Remember the ‘wet and dry’ of life. You can’t know what love or joy is without knowing what not-love and not-joy is.
Wisdom
Life’s journey is about discerning that part of you that attracts love from that part that doesn’t – and putting that wisdom into practice.
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α
(If you feel you can’t put your heart and soul into practice then ‘act as if’. Pretend, like an innocent child, with no ulterior motive other than the curiosity of seeing what happens.)
Picture sourced from Handwriting Analysis
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul
Follow @paulburr
Tip for the Day: Combine Patience with Serenity
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Visions and Dreams on March 12, 2013
Patience
Serenity
α
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Practise patience and view all things around you with serene eyes. The world will no longer withold the love you were born to receive.
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α
(If you feel you can’t put your heart and soul into practice then ‘act as if’. Pretend, like an innocent child, with no ulterior motive other than the curiosity of seeing what happens.)
Pictures sourced from Handwriting Analysis
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.
Follow @paulburr
The Psychic Vampire, Unseen in the Mirror
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development on February 20, 2013
They suck you in. You[1] don’t feel their fangs puncture your neck. One minute you are drawn to the creature’s alluring charm. The next, you are smitten by their mesmerising power that deceives and lulls you into submission. You allow them under your skin and your life-force starts to bleed out of you.
What was the attraction to someone so beautiful, in dire need of your help? Was it ‘noblesse-oblige?’ What reward did you seek for your chivalry and kindness? Did you hope that you would receive a thank you in the form of love – be it physical, emotional or spiritual? If not, did you seek the dependency of another to satisfy your own false-ego? Either way, you belong to them for now.
You feel an urge to rescue the creature from all its woes. You pay each ‘bill’ they send your way – in the form of time, money, physical and emotional energy. You submit to the creature’s will. You allow yourself to become psychically enslaved. You, the ‘rescuer’, become their ‘victim’. They, ‘the victim’ become your ‘persecutor’. The deeper you allow their ‘bite’; the greater the duress, intensity, frequency and duration of the energy that flows out from your life-force.
You chastise and remonstrate with them your frustrations but you still hold back – for fear of losing them completely. They tell you how wrong and misguided you are – but not for too long. They feign a weakening of spirit. They reveal their inner hurt to you and place themselves at your mercy. Duped, you feel worse for their suffering than you do your own – and so they ensnare you again. You give all your power to them once more and they take it, only more voraciously than ever.
They may not even be wholly aware of the powers they have over you and others like you. It’s as if they can’t help themselves. They possess an insatiable desire for all that you (and others) have to give and more. Yet they show no signs of giving you that one thing you want most from them, love. They show no willingness or capability to love you, the way you want them to love you.
For they can only love someone (or something) that they can’t have. They are doubly bound by not-love – as by now are you. Loveless, they feed on the life-energy of those like you so that they don’t face their biggest and most misguided fear… the fear of love itself.
They choose not the courage to love and be loved. They can only conjure an illusion of love-liness. Love, to them, is a game of smoke and mirrors. Unresolved issues from their childhood cast too dark a shadow in which for them to venture to find love. And so they live in a half light, capable of hypnotic power but incapable of love – not there, right now, with you.
And still you persist with the vision of light that you see inside the creature; wishing, hoping, or perhaps convinced, that they will share it with you one day. But no inner-beacon shines your way. You sicken and tire. You live from minute to minute in servility. You give when you have no more to give and still the blood-letting of your life energy continues until…
You sicken and tire of being sickened and tired by your addiction to this illusory hero/ine. The day comes when you bid “begone!” and hold nothing back. The creature leaves knowing that you truly have nothing more to give.
You both suffer. The habit is not broken yet – ‘cold-turkey has got you (both) on the run[2]’. Given the chance, the vampire returns to test your mettle. They try to ensnare you again but this time it’s different, you’re different. They realise that all you can share with them is your truth – the truth of your feelings (regardless of the correctness/incorrectness of your perceptions). And truth drives out all falsity, including theirs. You thus bid a farewell that is ‘final and definite’ – and so the task of grieving really starts.
Day by day, week by week, month by month, the hurt lessens; the clouds of anger, sadness, shame and fear dissipate. Slowly but steadily, you regain your power. You seek to learn from the devastation you allowed to be inflicted upon you. As you reflect in the ‘mirror that was you’, you begin to realise (real-eyes) the nature of a now-familiar dark energy within yourself.
You account for how it was you who attracted the creature. You recognise a like-for-like, psychic and vampiric part of their nature within yourself. You appreciate more fully the depth and nature of the pain you have caused, or been capable of causing, others.
You see more clearly the definition of love, innately incorrect, given to you by your parents. You bring to the surface unresolved issues with your parents that you’ve carried all your life. And now you can bid farewell to these issues from your past.
Now you have the chance to resolve the unresolved. Today you ‘throw those curtains wide’ and allow the light (the same light that you saw hidden inside the creature) of the sun within you to shine throughout your whole body and radiate beyond. Through willpower, patience and courage you release the psychic vampire inside. Once gone, it never needs to return.
You graduate from the Wisdom School to the Love School – and that’s another story.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.
A Common Business Issue: Lack of Accountability Is a Symptom. The Problem is Fear
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Training & Development on February 19, 2013
When we are over-performing, the stage of success is filled with major players and acolytes; all accountable for their right to stand in the blazing footlights. On the other hand, when we underperform; the stage is often deserted apart from the chosen few, caught in the beam of a single spotlight, being asked to account for themselves.
The idea of measuring people to improve ‘accountability’ is also a hierarchical myth. Over-performers apart, it results in form filling to meet the ‘numbers’ and dodge the truth if needed – be it in the private (e.g. sales forecasting) or public (e.g. centralization of schools/hospitals statistics) sectors. A corporate board member of the world’s largest IT company referred this phenomenon to me as “…‘management’s perfumed pig’. What we need instead is truth!”
You, I, we, tick the boxes with answers so that hopefully, in management’s eyes, we aren’t singled out from the crowd. So where is the truth found?
Image courtesy of the Nikki Thomas Network
The journey starts by a commitment to treat successes and setbacks, as opportunities to learn what to repeat and avoid, with equanimity. Secondly, we answer fundamental questions about our behaviour and its effect:
- What is it we do that aids/abets and what is the effect of this ‘helpful’ behaviour?
- What is it we do that inhibits/hinders and what is the effect of this ‘unhelpful’ behaviour?
- In the latter case, what could we do differently and what effect might that have?
- Overall, what do we do/don’t do; knowingly/unknowingly that creates or somehow contributes to the successes and setbacks of ourselves and others?
- And even if we were wise to all the answers to the above questions, do we choose the courage to act upon ‘the wisdom from failure’?
Lack of accountability is only the symptom. The problem is fear.
People are fearful of being perceived as failing or incompetent (by themselves as much as others). People thus fear being accountable.
If management were to have only one task, it’s not about measuring, it’s about releasing the fear in their organization and filling the subsequent void created with wisdom and courage.
An organization releases its fear and gets wise one person at a time, each of their own volition.
Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
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Paul C Burr PhD
Email: doctapaul@paulcburr.com
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