Archive for category Relationships
The Law of Reversibility – the What and How – more Powerful than the Law of Attraction
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 28, 2012
An extract from
Defrag your Soul
- Image from http://exper.3drecursions.com/
The Law of Reversibility
If situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state, then inducing that same emotional state will manifest the same events and people into your life. Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, should you really want it. It requires focus, imagination and faith – in yourself.
(But you also need to know clearly what you are manifesting.)
About the Law of Duality
To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.
So…
Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things that you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.
The Law of Reversibility is far more powerful than the Law of Attraction. Rather than attract what you don’t have, you know you can have exactly what you want. It already exists in the field of unlimited possibilities. Manifesting requires practice, faith and imagination. Try it.
Imagination – takes place in your mind. It means place an image-in-ions (atoms). Your conscious mind passes the information (your emotional state) pertaining to that image to your unconscious mind. The unconscious mind then signals your DNA to send out the corresponding vibe to the universe.
DNA – is your transmitter to the universe. It transmits your signal of how you are feeling in the moment – your vibe. Its signal is governed by your unconscious mind.
Unconscious mind – passes the decisions made by the conscious mind to each and every body cell in your body. It also collects the vibes you pick up unknowingly and stores that information away too. It protects you from information that it feels you cannot cope with. All the information, good and bad, is stored away in your holographic Etheric Body. Each and every body cell is a fractal (the whole is contained in each fractal) of your Etheric Body’s hologram.
Body cell – Each and every body cell contains your whole life history, your memories, feelings, reactions and actions, everything that’s happened to you knowingly and unknowingly. It is placed in cellular memory.
Vibe – is the vibration that your DNA sends out to the universe. You can increase the power of this vibe by acting as if you already have what you seek.
Act as if – The brain executes the same neural pathways in the same way, whether you’re viewing real life situations or dreaming about them. The mind cannot tell the difference between the real world and an imaginary world. By acting as if you already have what you want in your imagination – you fool the mind into thinking the same. The conscious mind thus directs the unconscious mind to inform your DNA to send out a corresponding vibe. Over time, you attract what you want, as long as you keep faith in yourself and live your dream.
Soul – The body cells that constitute your physical body, inform your soul of the direction you seek to take. The soul cross references your intentions and behaviours with its quest – your life purpose. Soul then signals, via the mind, spirit to inform it of the new experiences it seeks to attract.
Spirit – is the force which manifests form: people things and events, to take you down your chosen life’s path, to your true self, your soul’s quest. But spirit can only manifest via the mind. The decision as to what to manifest is taken by the mind. The mind contains four things that sully spirit’s power to attract what your soul wants: guilt, anger, sadness and fear – the four seeds of karma.
Karma – you invoke a karmic response when you veer from the path of your chosen life’s journey. Karma tells you that you are allowing guilt, anger, sadness and fear to cloud your decisions; that you have gone astray.
False ego – is the keeper of guilt, anger, sadness and fear. It’s has a dual edged sword type of existence. It holds on to these negative emotions and attempts to control your mind with them. But also, it knows full and well that its purpose is to reveal the source of these negative emotions to you when the time is right – so that you can release them. In a paradoxical way, your false ego beckons your light. It knows when to submit to your light to shine within in its dark shadows. Each time you shine more light into your false ego’s shadows, you take a spiritual step on your chosen life’s journey – toward your true self.
Spiritual steps – are what you take when you allow and release all the guilt, anger, sadness and fear in your life that stops you from taking that step. Each step takes you closer to your true self.
True self – the purpose of your life is to find, open, become and express your true self. If you don’t know it already, you find the purpose of your life by following your passions. Once you find out what your purpose is, you open up it up to understand the implications it holds for you. Becoming your true self takes time. You have to find and open each spiritual step on the way. As you take each step, you become closer to your true self. You gain wisdom. You complete that step when you apply that wisdom to serve humankind. You shine. You express more of your true self – a deathless solar star.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Neither Feed nor Fight Fear
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 23, 2012
Spirit doesn’t work through intellect. Spirit affects feelings that pass through the mind to be interpreted and experienced. If the conscious mind is receptive to these feelings, you feel good, you can become high spirited. Your conscious mind passes the feeling of goodness to your unconscious mind – which despatches signals to your DNA to expand and increase their vibration. Your DNA rejoices. You send out a good vibe to the universe.
Image sourced from Scrape TV
When the feelings despatched by spirit touch a “nerve,” a fear, your mind becomes unreceptive. This fear passes straight down into your unconscious mind, on to your DNA, which sends out a negative vibe to the universe. It wasn’t spirit that sent you a negative feeling, it was your mind that transmuted spirit’s signal into fear. Spirit can’t force you to choose courage instead of fear. It tells you. You intuit what spirit says. Your intuition might prompt you to choose courage – but your conscious mind has power of veto. So listen to spirit carefully.
When your intuition tells you to, choose courage. And when you’re completely honest with yourself, your heart will create boundaries to protect you. Choose the courage to allow fear into your conscious psyche. Neither feed nor fight that fear. Acknowledge it and let it be. Your unconscious mind has then no negative signals to send to your DNA.
Allow fear space. Let it be. Fear that is neither fed nor fought gets “bored eventually – and leaves. Spirit rewards courage and honesty with protection.
The learning process, to allow fear space, is subtle. Fear’s subsequent release is even more subtle. It’s not an intellectual process. But once you have experienced a release, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes your fear might be unconscious. In which case go get professional help to unearth it. Find out what it is, where it came from, how you got it, who gave it you – and the impact it’s had on the decisions you make in life. And when you find out…..
Let your fear be. Take your time. Tread one step at a time with spirit. There’s a temptation to rush ahead; fill in the blanks to missing wisdom with fantasy; join dots that aren’t meant to be connected. Tread carefully, honestly, courageously and diligently. Find your truth.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Character Defines the Results You Attract
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 22, 2012
“…all that happens is the result of character, the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character….. the chart of birth….is merely a map of character…..(and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.”
CC Zain[1]
Image sourced from Spencer Hope Davis
[1] Ref: Chapter 4, Doctrine of Nativities from the book, Laws of Occultism, Inner Plane Theory and the Fundamentals of Psychic Phenomena by CC Zain, published by the Church of Light.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Soul (Play-) Mates
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 20, 2012
Soul-mate relationships tend not to be easy. Two people come together because they share the same dark shadows within their psyches. They serve one another by shining light into each other’s shadows. They come together to accelerate one another’s consciousness development, faster than each would on their own.
Image sourced from Personality Cafe
Such a bipartite arrangement sounds like a good thing – and it is. But it can come in the form of conflict and upsets, especially if either partner allows their false ego to dominate the relationship. Discussions about hurt and anger can descend into blame and accusation. The couple need to stay in control of their emotions and keep a detached view of what’s going on. They can find harmony consciously by[1]:
- Recognising the sparks of attraction that first brought them both together – and the value that each brings to “one-another’s table.”
- Being clear about the spiritual nature of their relationship.
- Recognising that both share similar dark shadows within their psyche.
- Acknowledging and showing gratitude for things they give one another.
- Agreeing consciously, up front, the spiritual purpose of the relationship – as well as its physical, intellectual and emotional aspects.
- Bringing complete truth to the table. Both partners acknowledge the sources of all:
- Joy and happiness that propel their own Life’s Journey and
- Guilt, anger, sadness and fears by which they hold themselves back. There will be unconscious truths, memories and negative emotions too. They’re the reason the couple came together in the first place. When the couple first met, their souls recognised the struggle that one another were having. Their souls made a pact – and perhaps each one’s inner child recognised and wanted a new playmate. They chose to become soul playmates in the game of life.
- As time evolves, each speak about feelings openly rather than dwell on the events which cause upsets. They go back to the source of each upset and retrace their steps in the wisdom of hindsight, outside the clutches of the unconscious mind.
Like all couples, soul mates can have great fun, and/or settle down and have families, and/or share the same passions, hobbies and intellectual interests, and/or engage in fantastic sex, and/or enjoy a healthy level of independence – like “two strings of a lute,” in tune:
“As the strings of a lute are apart though they quiver the same music.”
They can learn to live together in harmony – physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Each secure in the wisdom of the purpose of their relationship; in tune with one another. Neither soul mate needing to trust because both share complete truth; a beautiful relationship, fuelled by love.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
[1] I am unashamedly going to give another plug. If you want to learn more about how relationships come together, survive and thrive, through truth, please refer to my first book, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return.
The Heart Doesn’t Judge
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 7, 2012
Image sourced from bl1tz.wordpress.com/
Do not analyse the effect of what happens to you.
Instead, be aware. Remain non-judgemental. You awaken to the cause of the effect.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
About Unconditional Love……
Posted by Doctapaul in Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on February 6, 2012
Image sourced from Iv313x
Unconditional love has neither attachment nor detachment. If you have either, you place conditions on your love. Unconditional love has passion and composure but it is neither of them. It is a higher vibration.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Client:-“I Can’t Forgive Myself.” – “You Don’t Need To.”
Posted by Doctapaul in Current Affairs & The Economy, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Visions and Dreams on January 20, 2012
Image from Oneness, Conscious Choices
There’s no such thing as forgiveness. Humankind is not empowered to forgive. Tis a trick of the mind which stems from the sense of separateness.
Us and Them? = Separateness. (ask Pink Floyd)
When someone else “trespasses against us,” we are encouraged to “forgive them.” When we trespass against others, or even ourselves, we are encouraged to repent and ask for forgiveness.
Which is why we, with good intention, choose to forgive someone else’s, or ask for forgiveness for our own, “wrong doing.” And when we try to forgive ourselves, who is forgiving whom? Do we forgive in our hearts or in our mind?
As without, so within = Oneness.
The heart does not judge. And the soul seeks wisdom, your heart’s desires, not judgement borne of separateness.
The heart only has love, for everyone and everything. The sun shines on us all, regardless of thought or deed. We love unconditionally, like the sun, when we have learned to love ourselves.
Rather than forgive, release the anger, sadness, fear or guilt within you – replace it with passion, to transform yourself first. Raise your vibration. When enough of us focus on oneness, the vibration will spread.
So be uplifting. Transform from separateness to oneness. Journey to Love unconditionally.
And…
Unconditional love leads to magic, divine magic – because you become the change the world awaits.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Unconscious Attracts…
Posted by Doctapaul in Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Selling, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Training & Development on January 18, 2012
With so many changes in the world around us, tis vital to focus on that which you feel you can control and influence:- namely yourself and those in your immediate sphere.
Image from Crystalinks
You may not be able to influence the chaos but You can control how You respond to it. Feelings of anger, hurt, guilt and fear move from your conscious to your subconscious and then you project them outwards subliminally.
People see your “armoured shield” not the truth within. People are less attracted to an armoured tank than the beauty of love and truth. As a tank, your influence and effective communication is thus limited, if not futile.
So what is this armour? It manifests itself in the form of guilt, anger, sadness but most of all fear. The four seeds of karma. You cannot hide but you can get lost.
If you inebriate yourself from your negative feelings, you are in conscious denial. This does not work.
If you embrace your negative feelings, you restrict yourself from releasing them. For example, you may work long hours and completely commit yourself to avoiding failure. No matter how successful you are at avoiding that which you fear, you never release the fear.
Notice, I say “release the fear,” not “defeat it.” It takes courage to defeat fear, but it takes more courage to release it. Warriors defeat fear, alchemists release it. And in doing so they achieve fearlessness – which is not about bravery; it’s about wisdom.
On the far side of fear lies wisdom.
Release the four seeds of karma (guilt, anger, sadness and fear) and you…..
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Love Saves
Posted by Doctapaul in Love, Poetry, Relationships on January 9, 2012
Love saves.
Trouble haunts the head not the heart.
I acknowledge my love.
I let it be, unfettered.
I place my trust completely in it.
I let it shine,
Safely in my heart.
As I do you.
Image from the Happy Hippy
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
(More about) Courage and Oneness
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on December 21, 2011
Let us recap a little about the difference between fearless and fearlessness.
Courage is a choice we take, not a trait. We can all choose courage to overcome that which holds us back.
(Image sourced from The Mystic Window.)
Only four things hold us back in life: anger, sadness, fear and guilt. But these four negative emotions do not constitute the source of what holds us back. They are its symptoms. And likewise if you look through anger, sadness and guilt you will find fear behind them. Ultimately, the only one thing holds you back in life – fear.
Behind hatred (a form of anger) lurks fear, the furthermost opposite of love.
With courage we choose to displace fear. Fear feels very real until we break through it. Then we realise it was an illusion, all along. An illusion created, by our false ego to hold us back, for a purpose.
Fear encases wisdom and learning about the futility of thoughts and actions borne out of a sense of separateness. But separateness is an untruth. And untruth breeds untruth.
The source of all untruths, in ourselves, is the sense of separateness. And by untruth, seperateness is, as such, an illusion. When we let go of this untruth, we learn the wisdom we have hitherto denied ourselves. We are all, ultimately, of one spirit.
And when we let go of separateness, we let go of the fear it breeds.
For example, fear of isolation and being unloved.
Why do we feel the need to be loved and connected to someone else?
Answer: “because we neither connect with, or love, our true selves.”
When we learn to love ourselves, wholly, truly and unfettered, we connect to, and love, others unconditionally and immediately.
And by “love ourselves” I mean – enkindle our souls with love.
Fear is not the contents of what you will find within your darkness. It is only the encasement or packaging. It takes courage to venture into the shadows. But once through the encasement, we find wisdom eventually. We step nearer to our ultimate true selves. With hindsight we realise there was nothing to fear, about this wisdom, in the first place. Our being fearless transforms into fearlessness; not so much a state of being brave, more a state of wising up; we had nothing to fear.
The brave warrior thus transforms into the, now, wiser alchemist.
Choose courage.
Find wisdom and fearlessness.
Let go of separateness.
Choose oneness.
Become One-Love.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Replace Forgiveness with Accountability
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on October 3, 2011
“Forgiveness is an illusion of the mind. It appeases our false ego. Instead, we are wiser to erase the data that attracted whom, or that which, we resent or feel guilty about. I speak not of erasing an unpleasant memory or the learning there-from. I speak of erasure of the negative emotions we attach to that memory. The same negative emotions or darkness by which we attracted the person or event, that we allowed to offend us, in the first place.
The sun shines on us all, regardless. The Heart Chakra, your 4th chakra, is the domain of Helios, the Sun King. The heart doesn’t judge. Tis all in the mind.”
Image from American Mathematical Society
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Do your Maths, before you speak your mind.
Posted by Doctapaul in Leadership, Relationships, Soundbytes of Wisdom on October 1, 2011
Being right is one thing.
Being helpful is another.
Make 1+1=3.
Image from Dave Tutin’s site. Dave writes important stuff about USA’s Poltical-Social System as well as many other subjects, close to his heart.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Hold a grudge, do you?
Posted by Doctapaul in Fun and Laughs, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on September 28, 2011
Sourced from Johnny Hughes on Facebook
Fearless versus “Fearlessness” – the difference between courage and wisdom
Posted by Doctapaul in Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Training & Development on September 27, 2011
Should we ignore, or remain in denial about adverse situations or issues, we learn little if anything at all. The situations fester and pester more and more. We feel more pain or hurt. Should we continue to isolate ourselves from our feelings of hurt about what’s going on, we isolate ourselves from love, joy and fulfillment as well. This might need some explanation.
Image sourced from The Hero Construction Company
We can’t learn if something is wet or not if we don’t know what not-wet, i.e. dry, is. Likewise, we are unable to be selective when we detach ourselves from negative emotions. Should we detach ourselves from sadness, we detach ourselves from not sadness, i.e. joy.
I recall when a relationship, I was in, broke up, not too long ago. I took myself to the pub at night, to inebriate myself from the fear and sadness of spending lonely evenings on my own. It took me 9 months before I readied myself to acknowledge the sadness, fear and start to move on life.
So here’s the curious dichotomy: when we ignore or deny fear, we deny not-fear – i.e. courage.
And it takes courage to deal with inner issues. In fact, all issues are inner issues. (When the relationship ended we both had issues to resolve but they were different issues.She had hers. I had mine. They were both proprietary.) The more courage we demonstrate to ourselves to deal with our inner issues the more we learn about them.
And when we learn more about a subject, we become wiser, we become expert and eventually we become a master. Not only are we a master at what’s going on, we become a master over our fears. We don’t hide from, or deny, them. We manage our fears. We control them. We become warriors. We become heroes. To some people, this ends the journey (“Hail, the all conquering hero!”). It does not. It ends a significant part of the journey and starts the next.
When we acknowledge our fear and gain mastery over it – we start to experience the stillness or void from which we base our actions. We start to realise that the issue, we faced, was attracted by and to our fear. We brought the issue, perhaps unknowingly and albeit unwantedly, on ourselves. The issue brought the fear to the surface so that we can erase that fear and evolve to the good.This is a fundamental rule to the game of life. (It might even be the only rule. I’m still working that one out.)
When the fear is fully out in the open in front of us, noone else,we see through it. We wise up to the habits and patterns inside of us that manifest that fear. We realise that those habits and patterns are only habits and patterns – and nothing more. They are not reality but responses we took on, usually in our early childhood, to adverse situations. And when we see their illusory nature, they disappear and so does the fear.
We begin to realise we had nothing to fear in the first place. At this stage we are not fearless, instead we experience fearlessness. We have transmuted our fearless state of mind into fearlessness.
The warrior or hero does not ignore or deny, but manages and controls, their fear. The master or magician, through the wisdom from insight, dissolves fear. Magicians are not brave. They have no need to be. They know fear for what it is – a very real-like illusion.
Fearlessness is a symptom of having achieved a spiritual step on our road to enlightenment. Only two types of people experience fearlessness – masters and fools.
When we become a master at one stage of our journey we instantly become a fool (or totally uninitiated) in the next stage. We become both master and fool at the same time.
We experience the two purposes of fearlessness:
- It tells us we’ve achieved mastery at one level
- It gives us the encouragement to tackle the next stage in our development.
Such is the computer game called “Life” – until we take the last step, of course.
/|\
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Someone on Facebook asked me for my “spiritual opinion on Monogamy”
Posted by Doctapaul in Love, Personal, Relationships on September 3, 2011
My Opinion ref: Question
Most couples I know don’t discuss monogamy up front. They don’t chose to abide by its principles consciously together. Sometimes they wish for it. Sometimes they assume it. Sometimes they treat it as a taboo topic and stick their head in the sand. Why?
Image from Lovemore.com
I haven’t been saintly always. Like many people I’ve entered into a sexual relationship knowing that the other person had stronger feelings for me than I, they. The joy of sexual pleasure, to fufill my Desire Body’s wants, was stronger than my Inner Self’s demand to live and share my truth. When the relationship ended, I’d have some rationale (e.g. “All blokes are like this.”) to keep my false ego intact – until the next time.
(I’ve been on the receiving end of this same behaviour too. Synchronicity: as I write this very sentence Joe Simon’s, Drowning in the Sea of Love, pops up on my Ipod shuffle-play.)
I hope I’ve never been demonic (I’ve enough karma, thanks) – maybe that’s not my call. But I can think of many times when I’ve lacked courage to speak my truth.
In years gone by, I’ve started open relationships which were fine and dandy until one of us steps over a line that the other doesn’t want to step over. I’ve started relationships that I wanted to become serious – and I’d end my other ongoing “open” relationships immediately. Fair enough?
Relationships start and evolve in a dance. But whom do we attract to dance? We attract what we project.
For example(s), I found that if I went into a bar with my “sex specs” on, I’d attract women who get their self esteem from being sexually attractive to others. Repeatedly I’d start a relationship with someone that wouldn’t last. Regardless of whether we had sex or not, the relationship often ended soon because one or both of us had gotten what we wanted out of it quickly. It took me many many years to figure out what my pattern was, at a vibrational level.
All the longer term relationships I’ve enjoyed, started through a “calling” I felt for and with the other person. If I’ve learnt one thing, this “calling” needs to include me. It’s not a one way deal.
I’ve come to realise that fidelity is as much about intention as behaviour. How clear, and how willing, are we to declare our intentions (especially before the music starts)?
Let’s go back to the dance – when two people start up together. If one gets ahead too far of the other, the couple come apart. If one pushes too hard and trods on the others toes – that also can lead to a stumble and fall. I’ve experienced both, both ways.
If one partner starts talking about a medium or long term purpose (that includes monogamy) for the relationship before the other is ready to commit, then the dance can come to an end. Better to stay quiet? Not forever. Better to wait until a better time? Perhaps.
My advice is thus….
1. When you start a relationship, start as friends. Be clear about your own intentions and feelings. Above all, “be true to thyself” –as the Bard says..
2. Wait a while before you introduce sex into the relationship
I once fell in love with someone out of the blue. I’d been acquainted with her for a while. We’d become friends. We spent a lovely day walking together. We arrived home. We kissed. It was a case of “love at first kiss” for me. We both wanted to make love. So I asked her a question….
“Is this sex or is it something more.”
“It’s something far more.” She replied.
“In which case, we can wait.”….
She agreed and so we did. At that point in time, we both felt our relationship had a much higher purpose. And we both had tasks to complete before we could start the relationship properly.
3. When the time feels right for both of you, discuss what the purpose of your relationship is (plug 🙂 there’s much more in my book about this):
- Physically – your environment, home, work, children, hobbies, passions and so on. (If you’re obsessed over a football team like me, this is important!)What you’ll be doing and what you won’t be doing
- Emotionally – how will you stay tuned into one another? Are you compatible intellectually or is that unimportant? How will you feel secure (or better still know) that the relationship’s purpose can be achieved?
- Spiritually – Each of you answer separately: if you were to know….
- What qualities, or wisdom about yourself, do you wish to develop through the relationship?
- What do you want to shed?
- And with what do you want to fill the void created by that which you have shed?
- What will make you truly happy in, compassionate with, and have love for , yourself – NOT the relationship or other person. (For at a spiritual level, what’s good for you is good for both. This is the bit that many of us don’t think/feel through.)
Share the answers you each come up with and create a joint purpose that is different from, but congruent with, your individual purposes.
Above all….
- Find, become and express your “true self”.
- Find your “purpose in life”.
- Find, open and take the steps needed to fulfil your “contract for this lifetime”
When you do the above, who and what you want to attract to help you, will come your way.
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
About loneliness….
Posted by Doctapaul in book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on August 26, 2011
Loneliness is something we feel when we are not happy with our own company.
Image by Said, Delta Papyrus Centre
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
ps Focus on the image of the Pharoah Ankh-n-aton.
- Do you notice. like me, how the image seems to switch from left to right?
- Do you notice that image is looking at you? Cool huh?
4 Warning Signs that Tell You “You’re not ready!”
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Training & Development on August 18, 2011
x 4
Can you recall a time when you set off on a venture and ignored or didn’t spot early warning signs that things were probably not going to go to plan? Those things are much easier to see in hindsight when “the milk has been spilt.” At the outset, our emotional attachment to the outcome is high. Those emotions however can cloud our vision of what’s possibly about to go awry. We head down the path to disappointment. We can avoid the path to disappointment and setback, when we can read the “road-signs”.
Four warning signs that point to pending setback and disappointment (in a relationship, in business, in everyday life):
- You get upset easily; means your pride is hurt. When you get emotional quickly and easily, you give your power to those you get upset with. You are clouded with emotion. You cannot see out what to do. Others cannot see in. You isolate yourself.
- Less power leads to low self esteem. You don’t feel good about yourself. This leads to fear.
- Fear of further upset and isolation: in extreme cases you despair and turn to others and do their bidding – in order to maintain some form of connection. This is not love or friendship. It is….
- Mind control: someone else has you under their thumb. This is not love. It’s manipulation. You have no way out, until you find the courage to get out from under.
So we can start by acknowledging our vulnerabilities. Which means neither embrace or deny them. Instead learn from them. Accept them for what they are…. head trash that needs dealing with.
We can go it alone – but I’ve found solitude and contemplation takes a wee bit too long for me. Instead I seek help… either through a group or an “energy healer”.
When you ready yourself to learn, your teacher will appear -and vice versa.
And should you choose to do nothing about it? Prepare yourself.
Because…. ( a definition for not taking responsibility)
“When the rocket is lit, your backside will appear.”
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
The Fear of Fear
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Healing, Leadership, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development on August 16, 2011
"Fear" by lilith_abi
Fear is a strong word. It can be an uncomfortable word. If we over-embrace fear, we end up doing nothing about it. Paradoxically the fear of fear; not talking about fear, not thinking about fear can lead to….. denial – of the conscious and unconscious fears (“let’s not go there”) that hold us back.
(Image sourced from lilith_abi.)
So it’s about creating a structure and process where we can acknowledge our fears and vulnerabilities. When we deny fear, we deny our Truth. Research shows, living our Truth is the key to creating a healthy level of self worth.
This presents a challenge to the fiefdoms in politics and business in this “winner takes all” world we’ve created. A world where one man’s vulnerabilities and mistakes are seized by another for their own gain.
It points to a new world where property, wealth and “ownership” is based on equitable negotiation and usage, not forfeiture. Where one serves all as part of our social contract. Leaders do the leading, rulers do the ruling, Kings and Queens do the king-ing or queen-ing. They are jobs with reponsibilities and accountabilities, not titles. Ah-ha – I feel a whole new blog coming on.
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Dealing with change, making the transition more effectively
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships on August 12, 2011
Change doesn’t hurt us. The emotional journey to making that change can
be hurtful though, if not cathartic.
Unexpected or unwanted change (for example, we lose something or someone precious) can feel like the world has collapsed in on us. We find it difficult just to acknowledge what has come to an end. (Image by: zirconicusso)
“It was hell. I couldn’t get my ex-girlfriend out of my head. There were times I would panic. I wondered how I would get through the next 30 seconds of my life and keep myself together. I loved her so much and she was gone. Every few minutes her memory would pop into my head. And the panic and heartache would start all over again. This went on for months.”
When we can’t acknowledge an ending, it means that we are not fully in a position to learn – from it or what went prior to the ending.
“’I acknowledge’ means I accept, as best I can, what has happened and ready myself to learn.”
Acknowledgement doesn’t mean we’ve gotten over what happened, far from it. The early period of what happens to us next can still be tough, very tough.
In time, we allow ourselves to start to look objectively at the facts. We try as best we can to detach ourselves from the emotions that hold us back and construct a way forward for us to move on. Sometimes we race too early to start a new beginning. But starting something new, “on the rebound” doesn’t often work.
It’s important that we grieve and not deny our feelings. And likewise it’s equally important that we busy ourselves whilst we grieve – for “wallowing in the mud does not make us clean”, as the saying goes.
“When we deny our emotions we cannot be selective. We cannot numb ourselves from hurt and suffering without numbing ourselves from joy and happiness at the same time.”
As time passes, we sometimes ‘think’ we have got over what happened. We haven’t.
As time passes, we can ‘believe’ we have got over what happened. We haven’t.
As time passes, we will ‘feel’ we have got over what happened. We haven’t.
It’s not until we ‘know’ we have gotten over that something or someone, are we ready to start a new beginning in our lives.
How do we know when we’ve gotten over someone (or something)? When their memory crops up, we give that memory minimal negative energy. That is, we give it minimal anger, sadness, fear or guilt. It’s not digital on/off switch. For me, memories of everyone I’ve loved, and have now gone from my life, still have a tinge of sadness – but only a tinge. I know I’ve gotten over that relationship.
Shine on…! Paul C Burr
Relationships Change
Posted by Doctapaul in Love, Personal, Relationships on August 6, 2011
Some people are unconscious of the need for change in their lives. When changes start to happen suddenly, they can be quite upsetting and unpleasant. The changes may even take the form of accidents, which are often an unconscious and inadvertent release of subconscious tension.
Relationships change. Our souls can feel stifled, even bored, when we stop seeking their quest. One or both parties start to feel “held down” too much. The relationship may break up. You can avoid this when you and your partner open yourselves to new and challenging experiences. But first, find a new purpose for your relationship consciously. Write it down. It should be different and congruent with each of your individual purposes.
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will do. But some roads are better than others.
If we select not the best road we encounter the karmic consequences. We may lose ourselves but we can’t hide.
I have learnt that the road is always there.
I ask for the wisdom to choose it and stay on it.
Shine on…!
@paulburr
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Paul C Burr 