Soul (Play-) Mates

Soul-mate relationships tend not to be easy. Two people come together because they share the same dark shadows within their psyches. They serve one another by shining light into each other’s shadows. They come together to accelerate one another’s consciousness development, faster than each would on their own.

Image sourced from Personality Cafe

Such a bipartite arrangement sounds like a good thing – and it is. But it can come in the form of conflict and upsets, especially if either partner allows their false ego to dominate the relationship. Discussions about hurt and anger can descend into blame and accusation. The couple need to stay in control of their emotions and keep a detached view of what’s going on. They can find harmony consciously by[1]:

  • Recognising the sparks of attraction that first brought them both together – and the value that each brings to “one-another’s table.”
  • Being clear about the spiritual nature of their relationship.
  • Recognising that both share similar dark shadows within their psyche.
  • Acknowledging and showing gratitude for things they give one another.
  • Agreeing consciously, up front, the spiritual purpose of the relationship – as well as its physical, intellectual and emotional aspects.
  • Bringing complete truth to the table. Both partners acknowledge the sources of all:
    •  Joy and happiness that propel their own Life’s Journey and
    • Guilt, anger, sadness and fears by which they hold themselves back. There will be unconscious truths, memories and negative emotions too. They’re the reason the couple came together in the first place. When the couple first met, their souls recognised the struggle that one another were having. Their souls made a pact – and perhaps each one’s inner child recognised and wanted a new playmate. They chose to become soul playmates in the game of life.
  • As time evolves, each speak about feelings openly rather than dwell on the events which cause upsets. They go back to the source of each upset and retrace their steps in the wisdom of hindsight, outside the clutches of the unconscious mind.

Like all couples, soul mates can have great fun, and/or settle down and have families, and/or share the same passions, hobbies and intellectual interests, and/or engage in fantastic sex, and/or enjoy a healthy level of independence – like “two strings of a lute,” in tune:

“As the strings of a lute are apart though they quiver the same music.” 

Kahlil GibranThe Prophet


They can learn to live together in harmony – physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Each secure in the wisdom of the purpose of their relationship; in tune with one another. Neither soul mate needing to trust because both share complete truth; a beautiful relationship, fuelled by love.

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr

[1] I am unashamedly going to give another plug. If you want to learn more about how relationships come together, survive and thrive, through truth, please refer to my first book, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return.


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