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Archive for category Self Help
(This blog is an extract from a forthcoming book I’m writing with the working title, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within)
- Accept vulnerabilities: as necessary to the human condition. Avoid allowing them to dictate your actions. Avoid denying them. Learning from vulnerability is fundamental to knowing what being invulnerable means. That’s the paradox of duality – you know something is wet because you know it’s not not-wet, i.e. dry.
To understand invulnerability, allow yourself to ‘be ok being vulnerable’. As you learn more about vulnerability (defencelessness), you learn more about ‘not-vulnerabilty’, invulnerability.
Image courtesy of Cernonnos
Defencelessness becomes your strength – when you learn to apply its wisdom.
- Learn to be okay with uncertainty. For example, when you commit to a journey, you may not arrive at your intended destination. Likewise, when you allow yourself to fall in love, that love may be rejected or lost. Learn to avoid trying to control people to adhere to your will. Love is only achieved through choice and freedom and living with the uncertainty that choice and freedom imply. Put another way…
If you want to change something stop trying to control it.
- Self-love does not mean that you or life has to be perfect. You were designed to be incomplete. By all means strive to improve yourself or the life you lead AND ‘don’t beat yourself up for being imperfect’. You, your friends and acquaintances, your children and your enemies, none are perfect.
This is what researcher and storyteller, Brené Brown, says about raising children in a generation that has the highest rate of drug dependency, obesity and debt in history…
Our job is to say (to our children), “You know what? You are imperfect, you are wired to struggle – BUT you are worthy of love and belonging”. That’s our job. Show me a generation of children raised like that and we’ll end, I think, the problems we see today.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
Be clear about your intended outcomes and commit to the journey to achieve them. The outcomes will not necessarily be spiritual. Yet the journey to complete – that which is incomplete (incomplete self-worth, incomplete self-love and incomplete love) – is always spiritual.
Your True Nature Creates Love
Being okay with the three states: vulnerability, uncertainty and imperfection, means that you no longer hold yourself back with emotions (anger, shame, hurt and fear) that stop you from expressing your true nature. Not feeling angry, hurt, ashamed or fearful allows you to embrace these four disabling-emotions’ dualities (enabling-emotions):
1. Not-anger = compassion and patience
2. Not-shame = self-worth and faith-in-self
3. Not-hurt = joy and serenity
4. Not-fear = love.
Your true nature is to…
Create love, moment by moment, through a cocktail of compassion, patience, self worth, faith-in-self, completeness, serenity, and joy – with a twist of enthusiasm and will-power.
Shine on… & a Happy Winter Solstice!
Paul C Burr
#mindfulness, abusive relationships, accountability, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, anger, character, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, forgiveness, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, hurt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, leadership, life purpose, love, metaphysical, mindfulness, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, soul, spiral path, spiritual, spiritual science, tip, tip for the day, true nature, Truth, unconditional love, unconscious mind, words of wisdom
The messenger of the gods, aka Hermes, brings wisdom but not always in the way you might expect, for He is also a trickster. He governs thinking, intellect and communications – and also rules computers, technology and travel.
Mercury went retrograde (Rx) at 2deg Scorpio on Oct 4 and journeyed back into Libra until Oct 25. From there He moved forward again to retrace His steps back to Scorpio and stepped out of his ‘shadow’ on Nov 10 – ie He got back to His starting place at 2 deg Scorpio.
Generally…. Mercury in Rx adversely affects communications, the interpretation of messages, creative thinking, new contracts, transportation, travel, mobiles, PC’s etc. It is not a good time generally until it at least He goes stationary to start any new contracts or liaisons – as our thinking is clouded.
In Libra, Mercury will encourage you to revisit areas out of balance or lacking truth. The areas where you are giving/receiving to little/too much; areas where you are lulling others or are being lulled; deceit; economic truths…. and so on.
The focus should be on the ‘re-‘ : Re-visit, re-think, re-vamp, re-live, re-connect, re-vise….
In Rx you will be given the chance to relive old experiences, situations etc. The ‘trick’ is to revise, ‘re-something’ where and when appropriate.
Mercury re- entered Scorpio during the first week of Nov. Scorpio the sign of death (Halloween – the end/death of the pagan year where everything dies back into the earth/underworld ruled by Pluto) – which leads to transformation and then rebirth.
Until Nov 27, now that Mercury is direct and out of its shadow, it is especially a good time to ‘kill off’ that (projects, situations, relationships) which is stultifying your creative thinking and intellect OR that which is borne of deceit.
Mercury shows (obligingly) you the wisdom of truth and then attempts to steal it. He can only succeed if you allow Him to.
Act from truth, love, compassion, patience, mindfulness and enthusiasm and you out-trick the trickster.
Image courtesy of Astrologer, Bill Attride
Paul C Burr
Ancient Wisdom, astrology, astronomy, Chakras, druid, druidism, druidry, Gnostic, Gnosticism, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, magician, metaphysical, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, responsibility, self help, spiritual, tarot, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
- Which projects, relationships or situations have you started that need a firmer footing?
- What have you started or tried to start that hasn’t the grounding needed to get going?
- Which red flags are waving at you? Put aside all anger, hurt, shame and fear – slow down, stop – see what and why the flags are waving before picking up speed again.
- How much have you been hoarding; material things, feelings and thoughts that no longer serve a useful purpose? Release them.
Take action: look after the small matters relating to self and others – and Selena, the goddess of positive karma (at 15 deg Capricorn) will send you good vibes – perhaps in the form of sure footedness or financial security.
Image courtesy of Astrologer, Bill Attride
Paul C Burr
Ancient Wisdom, astrology, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, full moon, Gnostic, Gnosticism, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, life purpose, magician, metaphysical, pagan, taurus, tip, tip for the day, words of wisdom
Pluto in Capricorn has finished its back-tracking and now moves direct in the sky again. Your ‘digging up of old ground’ is now over. To the ancients (and hippies), ‘dig’ means think, see, get-it. Did you, can you, dig it?
Take stock as Pluto moves forward. Which lingering thoughts and habits no longer serve a useful purpose. Review those that you now wish to lay to rest.
Harvest: celebrate as you acknowledge the new and bid farewell to the old.
How can you bring more balance, truth and justice to your worlds, both outer and inner? The New Moon in Libra and Pluto offers you the opportunity to transform and begin anew.
Image courtesy of Susan Levitt
#mindfulness, accountability, Alchemy, Ancient Wisdom, astrology, Beowulf, character, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, Earth, equinox, fear, forgiveness, full moon, Gnostic, Gnosticism, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, new moon, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, spiritual, tarot, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
A part-extract from my latest book: For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It), Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom, No 1, Parts I & II
“In the beginning was the logos, borne of love, Lilithian Love”
Lilithian Love, that which created ‘what is’, the present tense was later split into duality; ‘what is not’, the past tense, born from the present tense, is created. The mythical love between Lilith and Adam is ‘what is’. Eve, the past tense, the etymological root of ‘evil’, replaced Lilith who (according which legend) was either cast out or escaped into the wilderness. The war between the past and present began.
Image from Voice of the Prophetic Blogspot
But the war that takes place around us mirrors the war within us – between the past and the present, between not-love (fear) and love.
Love is divine. All that is not divine is not love. Shame, anger, sadness and fear are not love, not divine, nor are they borne of love. They dwell in the past or future, not the now. They reside in the head not the heart. They exist to be released, not conquered or embraced. And when you release them, nothing holds you back from your journey beyond their illusory boundaries, to love, truth and oneness.
From my book, Defrag your Soul – define the word ‘divine’ as meaning ‘the highest spiritual influence of humankind’.
accountability, adam, Ancient Wisdom, anger, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, eve, garden of eden, genesis, Gnosticism, hurt, karma, Lilith, love, magician, metaphysical, myth, mythology, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, relgion, responsibility, sadness, self help, serpent, tip, tip for the day, Truth, warrior, words of wisdom
Extract from a self-help exercise in Part II of the newly published paperback version of For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It).
Personal change/alchemy applies a combination of four forces (which correlate to the four occultist elements of creation and four houses of the Tarot):
- Spiritual – Fire and Wands
- Emotional – Water and Cups
- Physical/Material – Earth and Pentacles or Disks
- Intellectual – Air and Swords
(In this extract I focus on the first aspect.)
1. Spiritual: (Fire/Wands)
- How important is it that you and your partner relate to one another spiritually? (Think of ‘spiritual’ as the highest level of consciousness or wakefulness a human can aspire to.)
- What sense of purpose do you want the relationship to hold for you? What do you want you and your partner to create together and individually – for what purpose?
- What image does this sense of purpose hold for you? [By ‘image’, I mean something that you can imagine quickly and mindfully – to keep your thoughts, intentions, actions and words in line with the purpose of the relationship – for example: a waltz, a pair of loaded guns, a yin-yang symbol where the inner female is present in the male, and the inner male is present in the female, two comedians, sugar and spice (and all things nice!), and so on.]
- What inner blocks [sources of anger, (toxic) shame, hurt or fear] do you want to release?
- What leaks (excessive and distractive habits that cause detriment to your livelihood) do you want to shore up?
- What inner qualities do you want to bring (more) to the surface and express in your behaviour? For example: love, passion, creativity, fun – loving, compassion, patience, self esteem, inner security, inner harmony, assertiveness, motivation, competence, curiosity, good manners, and eventually completeness!
- How will you demonstrate these inner qualities? What will you be doing differently or more of, individually or together?
Continued in the booklet…
Now available from Createspace and Amazon US & UK. Kindle versions now available from Amazon US, UK and other regions. epub/ipad/iphone, kindle and further electric versions available from Smashwords.
The above inner qualities should integrate with the emotional, physical and intellectual qualities you seek to share.
abusive relationships, accountability, Ancient Wisdom, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, love, magician, metaphysical, occult, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, self help, spiritual, tarot, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
Herein follows a short extract from For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach yourself To It)
We are encouraged in western convention to ask for forgiveness and forgive others ‘who trespass against us’.
Nothing is random. You attract everything that happens to you. (If you don’t subscribe to this notion then act as if it were true for now and practise self-forgiveness as prescribed below. You’ll find it self-empowering.) If ‘something untoward’ happens to you, you attracted it for a reason. If you’re going to forgive anyone, start by forgiving yourself for attracting that ‘something untoward’ into your life in the first place. Even when I understood this, I still got the wrong end of the stick for a while.
I used to say something like, “What I did was wrong. I’m due (or it’s) karmic retribution. In time I hope I can forgive myself.”
Here’s the question. Which part of me is to (self-) forgive which other part of me? Which part of me has the right? Which part of me has the desire? Not the heart, it doesn’t judge. Like the sun, the heart shines on all. If the heart doesn’t judge, the notion of forgiving myself for doing ‘something bad’ is non-existent, in the heart that is.
Conventional self-forgiveness (‘good’ forgiving ‘bad’) is nothing more than a head trip. It’s all in the mind. It’s perhaps a start in the right direction. You may wish to forgive yourself or someone else with good intention. But if your forgiving is borne of a moralistic judgement it’s not from the heart and thus fundamentally flawed.
Real forgiveness is ‘being’ as if the thing that which was untoward never occurred in the first place. Forgiveness is more than something you do; it’s who you are – in your thoughts, intentions, actions when you operate from the heart, from spirit.
That’s what being in the present, moment-by-moment, actualises: self-forgiveness, free from the past, free from fear, free to be who you really are, spirit in human form, light (hu-man means ‘light being’), love.
And when you are love, being love, guess what? You free yourself to choose.
abusive relationships, accountability, anger, consciousness, courage, daily thought, druid, druidism, druidry, fear, forgiveness, Gnostic, Gnosticism, guilt, karma, law of attraction, law of consequence, Law of Reversibility, life purpose, Lilith, love, magician, pagan, paganism, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
This is a combination of three extracts from my forthcoming book,
For The Love of Lilith
How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself To It)
Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 1, Parts I and II
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
You might start to experience feeling drained in the company of certain people whom you have known for some time. By and large, you’re used to spending extended periods of time with them. You may be doing or talking about ordinary day-to-day things with them. Yet for some reason their company starts to drain your energy. What’s happening?
Unbeknownst to you both, they are tapping into your chi and taking it for themselves. At a subconscious level they want your energy. Your wariness is not activated because you enjoy their company. After a period of time and for no apparent reason, you may experience an anxiety attack or feel tired. You don’t see it coming and they don’t know that they are depleting your life-force.
It occurred two or three times with each friendly vampire I know before I noticed what was happening. If you notice an ‘attack’ happening to you, find some activity, on your own, every 2-3 hours, to repair your energy levels, e.g. meditation, exercise or tai chi. And perhaps, see your friendly vamps less often until you are strong enough to withstand any attack.
Leaks feel like small ‘port holes’ in your body. I had a pair in my back, positioned roughly where my kidneys are. During and after a psychic attack, the ‘port holes’ were created by what, I imagined to be, a pair of teeth would feel like once they’ve sunk into your skin. I’ve also had another pair just below my cranium at the back of my skull.
I say “had” because my task was and yours is to…
Shore up the chi-leaks and clean up: cleanse and erase the port holes.
Here’s technique I came up with to help myself. It took me about six months to shore up the leak holes through which my friendly vamps drained my chi. If you use it I hope it will alleviate any discomfort and provide you with a wealth of intuitive information (like it did for me).
Self-help to Release Blocks, Shore Up Leaks and Erase Port Holes
In practical terms if you feel you may have been ‘attacked’ (You will anger, hurt, shame, fear or perhaps drained of energy), scan your body. Notice where you feel the negative emotion. For example, when hurt badly I feel a block in the centre of my chest, and when stressed I get a block about four inches higher, in the centre of my sternum.
1. Close your eyes and take two or three deep breaths. Regulate your breathing to a count of 4 on each inhalation and exhalation.
2. As you exhale, ‘breathe light’ into the affected part of your body through your Third Eye or Brow Centre, just above and between your eyebrows until some level of composure returns to you.
That upon which light shines becomes that light
3. The more you practise, the stronger your imagination, the quicker the time to releasing the negative emotion so that a sense of composure fills your body.
Composure is the ability to neither feed nor fight the most negative of emotions (anger, hurt, shame, and fear) when under duress.
Recite an affirmation to help you avoid feeding or fighting the negative emotion. For example, I recite the phrases…
I place the word ‘stillness’ in my mind.
I place the word ‘peace’ behind my heart.
I place the word ‘power’ in my abdomen.
… as I shine light on to the affected part of my body.
Allow any information stored in the affected area of your body to travel back up the ray of light. With patience you may receive insight into the nature of unconscious fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs you hold about yourself.
Once you receive such wisdom you have the opportunity to act on it. Notice, for example, where and how you over-react to situations. Make the linkages with lingering fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs.
You can place these issues into imaginary bubbles in front of you and shine light into the bubbles as well. Notice any changes in the appearance of the bubbles as you do this and any corresponding changes that go on in your body and mind.
(End of blog)
Please feedback your experience using the above technique over a period of time. Many thanks.
abusive relationships, Ancient Wisdom, anger management, consciousness, courage, daily thought, dealing with anger, dealing with stress, druid, druidism, druidry, EFT, emotional abuse, fear, Gnostic, Gnosticism, hurt, hypnosis, karma, law of attraction, life purpose, love, metaphysical, mindfulness, pagan, paganism, pain, psychic, psychic attack, Psychic Vampire, relationship problems, relationships, responsibility, sadness, self help, self hypnosis, spiritual, tip, tip for the day, Truth, words of wisdom
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"...excellent (sales) training with my guys. What have you done to them? Outstanding...."- Graham Hill, CEO, Verbatim, The Phone Answering Service. Aug 2015.
"Paul C Burr is always worth reading. He is erudite, experienced and thought provoking. Highly recommended!" - Nigel Temple, CEO, Marketing Compass, http://www.marketingcompass.co.uk/
"For The Love of Lilith, it's a great book !!
I read it from the end to middle then back to the beginning to the middle. This way worked for me. But I am always going back on it when my intuition requests it." - Gabi, London
(After 'clearing of fears that hold you back'.) "Thanks to you, I've been awarded a government grant for my project. This week has been amazing. You're not just a creator; you're a deliberate creator. Keep sending those vibrations and witness magical appearances." - Jonathan Buffong, Author
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, "... a must read for both novice and experienced salespeople..." - Chiahou Zhang, Author
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, “I work for a large American IT company, and can say this is a hugely powerful book to articulate what is required to get to Board level. To really understand what the CEO and C level executive summarise as valuable and impactful, and in a condensed easy-to-digest format, is phenomenal. I find Paul C Burr's style of writing easier to digest and apply in any sales situation; it crystallises where the true business value add is delivered and how you really have strategic partnerships. I have just got number 2 book and look forward to reading this with excitement - which is saying something as my concentration span can be limited. Thank you.” - Amy Lambkin, Amazon review
About Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, “I loved it... it was great. I’ve encouraged many of my directors to buy a copy as it’s very pertinent to my company” - paraphrased from a top performing B2B salesperson for a global IT Services organisation.
"Letting go of fear and negativity, I feel like I am now seeing everything in glorious technicolour, have been given the space to dream and together with reciting the affirmations, I feel wonderful :-) "
Sameera de Silva, London
"I would like to thank Paul for sharing his impressive skills and enabling me to finally connect, and disconnect, with the last thread of the old me. His etheric cleansing process is quick and easy and allows for instant access to the valuable information that empowers you to create the clearing and changes most required. I would recommend this process to absolutely anyone on a spiritual path and to individuals caught on the hamster wheel of life, where little progress is seen for the amount of effort put in. Paul's cleansing is precise and swiftly creates the shift you've battled to create for yourself."
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return: "One of the best books I have read & worked with...."
"Your coaching took my life to another dimension and I live with my head high because of you.Thank you."
Charles Burton, Personal Trainer, Dancer, European Amateur Natural Bodybuilding Champion
“Paul, Thank you for your inspiring, in-depth and highly informative session last week, you taught me to unblock all my inner fears and to know why they were there in the first place. You are a calm influence, and it was your confidence which inspired me so much, as you are not at all egoistic in your guidance. You have shown me the side of myself I always wanted to greet, but didn’t believe was there.
You gave me the greatest gift I could ever have received which is to know my own being, and this is why I will always be grateful, and never forget our work last week. I now have found the path to not only happiness, but wisdom too. They say happy is the wise man, and I might add happy is this wise woman, through meeting a wise man, thank you again.”
Georgie Shellis, Harrow
Money barely represents what a single session is worth."
“I cannot echo enough what Naomi in Hove says ” Money barely represents what a single session is worth”. What you have done for me has literally changed my life with it’s amazing instant and personalised affect. My physical pain after one week of the session has been halved, so impressive that my Osteopath noticed it, my back less rigid for instance. And as for my formerly traumatic life, well now I understand my purpose, why things happened in childhood etc. I know feel like a sea bird observing its life, perched high on a cliff top, and like that bird, I feel that I have the entire navigational control of my life. For the first time I might add in forty two years so far! Thank you Paul, immensely,”
Emma Andrews – Brighton
"I would never have expected it but after 10 years of emotional dependence, I am now totally not bothered by it, this is amazing!”
“I already feel very differently. It can be hard to come to terms with change when it's not what you want, even though you know resistance is futile, but now I can see where I'm headed, it's easier to accept that the change is already in progress and that it's a good thing, thanks again.”
Gemma (via telephone), London
AMAZON: 5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
C. L. Eveleigh (Reading, UK)
This review is from: Learn to Love & Be Loved in Return: Making Relationships Last (Paperback)
This is a book about much more than romantic relationships. It is written with wonderful honesty and sincerity about love, the breakdown of relationships and how we relate to one another. It is a book that provides great insights into our own behaviour, as well as how we relate to others. It immensely readable, and I'm finding myself dipping into it over and over again for the many ideas, exercises and insights within its covers. Highly recommended whether you are in a relationship, just starting one, or looking for a relationship that will last.
Paul’s engaging style and personable character perfectly suit professional coaching. I have completed a recent programme. My performance, at work, has gone from strength to strength. I am now equipped with the tools to take me to previously unimagined business heights. Thank you Paul!
Robert Syrad, Erevena, Executive Search Services
Paul’s genius for business coaching helped me get clarity on a number of issues very quickly. I trust Paul as my coach. I appreciate his honesty and business expertise. In particular, I really value Paul’s flexibility in stepping into the role of a mentor, when he can see the benefit of doing so.
Is there any point in me saying that Paul comes highly recommended?
Romilla Ready, Lead Author, NLP for Dummies
"…your coaching technique! Bloody amazing".
Claire Dickson, Former Management Development Director
with Dixons and United Biscuits
Paul C Burr PhD
Skype: pbviaskype (mention this blog, when you connect)
Quick Guide VII – A Top-notch, Sales-Relationships, Account Management Template
Quick Guide VI – How to Sell Coaching
Defrag your Soul
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return
My Shelfari bookshelf
- The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
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