Archive for category Self Help
How to Add Value to Your Products & Services, Maybe!
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Business, Coaching, Leadership, Marketing, Mindfulness, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Selling, Tip for the Day, Training & Development, Uncategorized on January 15, 2015
Customer Value Orientation Matrix
(An extract from my booklet, Quick Guide VII – A Top-notch, Sales-Relationships, Account Management Template)
The matrix implies that you may have the opportunity to add value to your sales propositions. The nature of this value may be intellectual and/or emotional. Furthermore, if your customer values ‘you’ both intellectually and emotionally, you meet the basic criteria to form a partnership with your customer. If your customer neither values your intellect nor you/your-organisation as people – then your products and services are probably viewed as not much more than commodities.
Let’s look some more into each of the four quadrants in the Customer Value Orientation Matrix.
- Transactional: In this quadrant the individual client tends to place value for money upon the cost of the product and service quality they are buying and little or nothing more. In a commodity sale, given the minimum criteria of quality required, the client will make their decision typically on the lowest cost supplier. They attach neither emotional nor intellectual value on doing business with one vendor over another.
- Intellectual: Over and above product and service quality some clients will value a vendor’s intellectual property, i.e. their expertise, wisdom, data and/or whom they know.
Case Study: Intellectual Value – IT Directors’ Network
I once sold worldwide best-practice research to IT Directors as part of a private club subscription. Over and above the value of accessing millions of pounds (£UK) of research, at a small fraction of the cost, many members joined to meet their peers face-to-face. They met informally on a regular basis to discuss ‘hot topics’ of their own choice. Members would share insights into major IT management issues. If nothing more, members shared solace amongst themselves that they all struggled with the same management issues.
- Emotional: In the UK, themes such as ‘Buy British’ or ‘our Customer Support is based in the UK’ continue to carry favour with some clients.
I have sold millions of pounds (£UK) worth of contracts by asking the client if they would help me to make or overachieve my sales targets at year end. In each case, I had a very close and trusting relationship with the client. They were willing and happy to bring forward the business simply because I asked for it.
Case Study: Emotional Value – A Surprise and Wonderful Contract of Thanks
I led a sales and installation project of a huge network of Personal Computers (PCs) to facilitate a new customer service support system for a UK national corporate client. My organisation was awarded Phase 1 of a two phase project. I was told informally that Phase 2 would probably be awarded to a competitor whose product was some 40% cheaper.
The client valued my organisation’s technical know-how and I assembled a top support team to make sure that Phase 1 was commissioned on time and within budget. By the end of our contract, the customer was delighted.
I managed to persuade my management to keep the support team in place, even though our contract for Phase 1 had been fulfilled. I was determined to ensure the complete project was a success. Specifically, I did not attempt to negotiate anything in return for this ‘extra resource’ commitment.
Phase 2 got underway. About half way through and to my complete surprise, I was awarded a further £3M worth of unexpected business. The client-sponsor was “simply delighted” with my organisation’s commitment to the project overall regardless that a competitor was supposed to be supplying the hardware for Phase 2. This was the client-sponsor’s way of saying “thank you”.
- Partnership: When a client values doing business with you from both an intellectual and emotional basis, you have the potential to forge a partnership.
A business partnership is to all intensive purposes a marriage between your organisation and your client. You’ll sit together at a common ‘planning table’. Collectively you’ll form ‘one team’. You and your client’s organisation will ideally have a matching hierarchy of values.
The partnership will sustain when it is built on pillars of passion, resonance, security and creativity. The pillars are cemented in trust and as long as their bedrock is sound, pillars can crumble and be rebuilt.
Case Study: No Partnership Value – A Mismatch in Values = Transactional
I once engaged with a global apparel manufacturer to ‘measure’ the value its major retailer clients placed on the various products and services it offered. It sold prime marque products at premium prices. It was very successful but had a mismatch of values with one giant retailer in particular.
The retailer placed little or no value on the various add-on services the manufacturer provided, such as: local marketing campaigns, TV advertising, electronic tagging, in-store merchandising and so on. The retailer’s mentality was ‘stack-em-high, sell-em-cheap’; a complete contrast to prime-product retailing. The retailer was more interested in selling the manufacturer’s ‘bin-ends’ and ‘seconds’. And so a deal was eventually cut but the prospect of a partnership never came to fruition. The retailer’s view of all suppliers was totally Transactional .
For more information on forging and sustaining business relationship I refer you to two booklets from my series of Quick Guides to Business…
Good Selling & Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers) Follow @paulburr
The Journey to Self-worth, Self-love and ultimately, Love – Starts with…
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Coaching, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day on December 19, 2014
(This blog is an extract from a forthcoming book I’m writing with the working title, How to be a Friend of the Devil Within)
Three Constituents and their Dualities…
- Accept vulnerabilities: as necessary to the human condition. Avoid allowing them to dictate your actions. Avoid denying them. Learning from vulnerability is fundamental to knowing what being invulnerable means. That’s the paradox of duality – you know something is wet because you know it’s not not-wet, i.e. dry.
To understand invulnerability, allow yourself to ‘be ok being vulnerable’. As you learn more about vulnerability (defencelessness), you learn more about ‘not-vulnerabilty’, invulnerability.
Image courtesy of Cernonnos
Defencelessness becomes your strength – when you learn to apply its wisdom.
- Learn to be okay with uncertainty. For example, when you commit to a journey, you may not arrive at your intended destination. Likewise, when you allow yourself to fall in love, that love may be rejected or lost. Learn to avoid trying to control people to adhere to your will. Love is only achieved through choice and freedom and living with the uncertainty that choice and freedom imply. Put another way…
If you want to change something stop trying to control it.
- Self-love does not mean that you or life has to be perfect. You were designed to be incomplete. By all means strive to improve yourself or the life you lead AND ‘don’t beat yourself up for being imperfect’. You, your friends and acquaintances, your children and your enemies, none are perfect.
This is what researcher and storyteller, Brené Brown, says about raising children in a generation that has the highest rate of drug dependency, obesity and debt in history…
Our job is to say (to our children), “You know what? You are imperfect, you are wired to struggle – BUT you are worthy of love and belonging”. That’s our job. Show me a generation of children raised like that and we’ll end, I think, the problems we see today.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
Be clear about your intended outcomes and commit to the journey to achieve them. The outcomes will not necessarily be spiritual. Yet the journey to complete – that which is incomplete (incomplete self-worth, incomplete self-love and incomplete love) – is always spiritual.
Your True Nature Creates Love
Being okay with the three states: vulnerability, uncertainty and imperfection, means that you no longer hold yourself back with emotions (anger, shame, hurt and fear) that stop you from expressing your true nature. Not feeling angry, hurt, ashamed or fearful allows you to embrace these four disabling-emotions’ dualities (enabling-emotions):
1. Not-anger = compassion and patience
2. Not-shame = self-worth and faith-in-self
3. Not-hurt = joy and serenity
4. Not-fear = love.
Your true nature is to…
Create love, moment by moment, through a cocktail of compassion, patience, self worth, faith-in-self, completeness, serenity, and joy – with a twist of enthusiasm and will-power.
Shine on… & a Happy Winter Solstice!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers) Follow @paulburr
Mercury Steps Out of His Shadow in Scorpio
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Astronomy, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized on November 14, 2014
Mercury, closest to Helios, the Sun King, affects us all.
The messenger of the gods, aka Hermes, brings wisdom but not always in the way you might expect, for He is also a trickster. He governs thinking, intellect and communications – and also rules computers, technology and travel.
Mercury went retrograde (Rx) at 2deg Scorpio on Oct 4 and journeyed back into Libra until Oct 25. From there He moved forward again to retrace His steps back to Scorpio and stepped out of his ‘shadow’ on Nov 10 – ie He got back to His starting place at 2 deg Scorpio.
Generally…. Mercury in Rx adversely affects communications, the interpretation of messages, creative thinking, new contracts, transportation, travel, mobiles, PC’s etc. It is not a good time generally until it at least He goes stationary to start any new contracts or liaisons – as our thinking is clouded.
In Libra, Mercury will encourage you to revisit areas out of balance or lacking truth. The areas where you are giving/receiving to little/too much; areas where you are lulling others or are being lulled; deceit; economic truths…. and so on.
The focus should be on the ‘re-‘ : Re-visit, re-think, re-vamp, re-live, re-connect, re-vise….
In Rx you will be given the chance to relive old experiences, situations etc. The ‘trick’ is to revise, ‘re-something’ where and when appropriate.
Mercury re- entered Scorpio during the first week of Nov. Scorpio the sign of death (Halloween – the end/death of the pagan year where everything dies back into the earth/underworld ruled by Pluto) – which leads to transformation and then rebirth.
Until Nov 27, now that Mercury is direct and out of its shadow, it is especially a good time to ‘kill off’ that (projects, situations, relationships) which is stultifying your creative thinking and intellect OR that which is borne of deceit.
Mercury shows (obligingly) you the wisdom of truth and then attempts to steal it. He can only succeed if you allow Him to.
Act from truth, love, compassion, patience, mindfulness and enthusiasm and you out-trick the trickster.
Image courtesy of Astrologer, Bill Attride
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers) Follow @paulburr
Full Moon at 14 Degrees Taurus, 6 Nov 2014
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Astronomy, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized on November 6, 2014
Time to reflect:
- Which projects, relationships or situations have you started that need a firmer footing?
- What have you started or tried to start that hasn’t the grounding needed to get going?
- Which red flags are waving at you? Put aside all anger, hurt, shame and fear – slow down, stop – see what and why the flags are waving before picking up speed again.
- How much have you been hoarding; material things, feelings and thoughts that no longer serve a useful purpose? Release them.
Take action: look after the small matters relating to self and others – and Selena, the goddess of positive karma (at 15 deg Capricorn) will send you good vibes – perhaps in the form of sure footedness or financial security.
Image courtesy of Astrologer, Bill Attride
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers) Follow @paulburr
Autumn Equinox, New Moon in Libra, Pluto Moves Forward in the Sky Again
Posted by Doctapaul in Astrology, Astronomy, Blog All, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Quirky Ideas, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Visions and Dreams on September 23, 2014
Take a few moments to ‘harvest’ in all the new and enabling habits and developments in your inner world over the last 12 months.
Pluto in Capricorn has finished its back-tracking and now moves direct in the sky again. Your ‘digging up of old ground’ is now over. To the ancients (and hippies), ‘dig’ means think, see, get-it. Did you, can you, dig it?
Take stock as Pluto moves forward. Which lingering thoughts and habits no longer serve a useful purpose. Review those that you now wish to lay to rest.
Harvest: celebrate as you acknowledge the new and bid farewell to the old.
How can you bring more balance, truth and justice to your worlds, both outer and inner? The New Moon in Libra and Pluto offers you the opportunity to transform and begin anew.
Image courtesy of Susan Levitt
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
The War Between Not-love (Fear) and Love
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Poetry, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on August 8, 2014
A part-extract from my latest book: For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It), Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom, No 1, Parts I & II
“In the beginning was the logos, borne of love, Lilithian Love”
Lilithian Love, that which created ‘what is’, the present tense was later split into duality; ‘what is not’, the past tense, born from the present tense, is created. The mythical love between Lilith and Adam is ‘what is’. Eve, the past tense, the etymological root of ‘evil’, replaced Lilith who (according which legend) was either cast out or escaped into the wilderness. The war between the past and present began.
But which is Lilith?
Image from Voice of the Prophetic Blogspot
But the war that takes place around us mirrors the war within us – between the past and the present, between not-love (fear) and love.
Love is divine. All that is not divine is not love. Shame, anger, sadness and fear are not love, not divine, nor are they borne of love. They dwell in the past or future, not the now. They reside in the head not the heart. They exist to be released, not conquered or embraced. And when you release them, nothing holds you back from your journey beyond their illusory boundaries, to love, truth and oneness.
From my book, Defrag your Soul – define the word ‘divine’ as meaning ‘the highest spiritual influence of humankind’.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
What do you want to give to and receive from a relationship – SPIRITUALLY?
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tarot, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized on July 7, 2014
Extract from a self-help exercise in Part II of the newly published paperback version of For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It).
Personal change/alchemy applies a combination of four forces (which correlate to the four occultist elements of creation and four houses of the Tarot):
- Spiritual – Fire and Wands
- Emotional – Water and Cups
- Physical/Material – Earth and Pentacles or Disks
- Intellectual – Air and Swords
(In this extract I focus on the first aspect.)
1. Spiritual: (Fire/Wands)
- How important is it that you and your partner relate to one another spiritually? (Think of ‘spiritual’ as the highest level of consciousness or wakefulness a human can aspire to.)
- What sense of purpose do you want the relationship to hold for you? What do you want you and your partner to create together and individually – for what purpose?
- What image does this sense of purpose hold for you? [By ‘image’, I mean something that you can imagine quickly and mindfully – to keep your thoughts, intentions, actions and words in line with the purpose of the relationship – for example: a waltz, a pair of loaded guns, a yin-yang symbol where the inner female is present in the male, and the inner male is present in the female, two comedians, sugar and spice (and all things nice!), and so on.]
- What inner blocks [sources of anger, (toxic) shame, hurt or fear] do you want to release?
- What leaks (excessive and distractive habits that cause detriment to your livelihood) do you want to shore up?
- What inner qualities do you want to bring (more) to the surface and express in your behaviour? For example: love, passion, creativity, fun – loving, compassion, patience, self esteem, inner security, inner harmony, assertiveness, motivation, competence, curiosity, good manners, and eventually completeness!
- How will you demonstrate these inner qualities? What will you be doing differently or more of, individually or together?
Continued in the booklet…
Now available from Createspace and Amazon US & UK. Kindle versions now available from Amazon US, UK and other regions. epub/ipad/iphone, kindle and further electric versions available from Smashwords.
The above inner qualities should integrate with the emotional, physical and intellectual qualities you seek to share.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
Forgiveness Is More than Something You Do; It’s Who You Are – extract from For The Love of Lilith…
Posted by Doctapaul in Blog All, book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized on June 30, 2014
Herein follows a short extract from For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach yourself To It)
We are encouraged in western convention to ask for forgiveness and forgive others ‘who trespass against us’.
Nothing is random. You attract everything that happens to you. (If you don’t subscribe to this notion then act as if it were true for now and practise self-forgiveness as prescribed below. You’ll find it self-empowering.) If ‘something untoward’ happens to you, you attracted it for a reason. If you’re going to forgive anyone, start by forgiving yourself for attracting that ‘something untoward’ into your life in the first place. Even when I understood this, I still got the wrong end of the stick for a while.
I used to say something like, “What I did was wrong. I’m due (or it’s) karmic retribution. In time I hope I can forgive myself.”
Here’s the question. Which part of me is to (self-) forgive which other part of me? Which part of me has the right? Which part of me has the desire? Not the heart, it doesn’t judge. Like the sun, the heart shines on all. If the heart doesn’t judge, the notion of forgiving myself for doing ‘something bad’ is non-existent, in the heart that is.
Conventional self-forgiveness (‘good’ forgiving ‘bad’) is nothing more than a head trip. It’s all in the mind. It’s perhaps a start in the right direction. You may wish to forgive yourself or someone else with good intention. But if your forgiving is borne of a moralistic judgement it’s not from the heart and thus fundamentally flawed.
Real forgiveness is ‘being’ as if the thing that which was untoward never occurred in the first place. Forgiveness is more than something you do; it’s who you are – in your thoughts, intentions, actions when you operate from the heart, from spirit.
That’s what being in the present, moment-by-moment, actualises: self-forgiveness, free from the past, free from fear, free to be who you really are, spirit in human form, light (hu-man means ‘light being’), love.
And when you are love, being love, guess what? You free yourself to choose.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
Friendly (Psychic) Vampires – What to do when your buddy drains your energy
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Mindfulness, Myths, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Self Help, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Tip for the Day, Uncategorized, Visions and Dreams on June 24, 2014
This is a combination of three extracts from my forthcoming book,
For The Love of Lilith
&
How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself To It)
Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 1, Parts I and II
Illustration by Andrea Kurucz
You might start to experience feeling drained in the company of certain people whom you have known for some time. By and large, you’re used to spending extended periods of time with them. You may be doing or talking about ordinary day-to-day things with them. Yet for some reason their company starts to drain your energy. What’s happening?
Unbeknownst to you both, they are tapping into your chi and taking it for themselves. At a subconscious level they want your energy. Your wariness is not activated because you enjoy their company. After a period of time and for no apparent reason, you may experience an anxiety attack or feel tired. You don’t see it coming and they don’t know that they are depleting your life-force.
It occurred two or three times with each friendly vampire I know before I noticed what was happening. If you notice an ‘attack’ happening to you, find some activity, on your own, every 2-3 hours, to repair your energy levels, e.g. meditation, exercise or tai chi. And perhaps, see your friendly vamps less often until you are strong enough to withstand any attack.
Leaks feel like small ‘port holes’ in your body. I had a pair in my back, positioned roughly where my kidneys are. During and after a psychic attack, the ‘port holes’ were created by what, I imagined to be, a pair of teeth would feel like once they’ve sunk into your skin. I’ve also had another pair just below my cranium at the back of my skull.
I say “had” because my task was and yours is to…
Shore up the chi-leaks and clean up: cleanse and erase the port holes.
Here’s technique I came up with to help myself. It took me about six months to shore up the leak holes through which my friendly vamps drained my chi. If you use it I hope it will alleviate any discomfort and provide you with a wealth of intuitive information (like it did for me).
Self-help to Release Blocks, Shore Up Leaks and Erase Port Holes
In practical terms if you feel you may have been ‘attacked’ (You will anger, hurt, shame, fear or perhaps drained of energy), scan your body. Notice where you feel the negative emotion. For example, when hurt badly I feel a block in the centre of my chest, and when stressed I get a block about four inches higher, in the centre of my sternum.
1. Close your eyes and take two or three deep breaths. Regulate your breathing to a count of 4 on each inhalation and exhalation.
2. As you exhale, ‘breathe light’ into the affected part of your body through your Third Eye or Brow Centre, just above and between your eyebrows until some level of composure returns to you.
That upon which light shines becomes that light
St Paul
3. The more you practise, the stronger your imagination, the quicker the time to releasing the negative emotion so that a sense of composure fills your body.
Composure is the ability to neither feed nor fight the most negative of emotions (anger, hurt, shame, and fear) when under duress.
Recite an affirmation to help you avoid feeding or fighting the negative emotion. For example, I recite the phrases…
I place the word ‘stillness’ in my mind.
I place the word ‘peace’ behind my heart.
I place the word ‘power’ in my abdomen.
… as I shine light on to the affected part of my body.
Allow any information stored in the affected area of your body to travel back up the ray of light. With patience you may receive insight into the nature of unconscious fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs you hold about yourself.
Once you receive such wisdom you have the opportunity to act on it. Notice, for example, where and how you over-react to situations. Make the linkages with lingering fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs.
You can place these issues into imaginary bubbles in front of you and shine light into the bubbles as well. Notice any changes in the appearance of the bubbles as you do this and any corresponding changes that go on in your body and mind.
(End of blog)
Please feedback your experience using the above technique over a period of time. Many thanks.
Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)
Follow @paulburr
-
You are currently browsing the archives for the Self Help category.
Share this page
How to Be a Friend of the Devil Within
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide VII – A Top-notch, Sales-Relationships, Account Management Template
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide VI – How to Sell Coaching
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It)
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide V – How to Apply Mindfulness to Business Relationships
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love)
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide IV – A Scorecard that Accounts for Mindfulness in Business
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide III – How to Bridge the Pillars of Successful Business Relationships
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide II: How to Spot, Mimic and Become a Top Salesperson
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Defrag your Soul
2012: a twist in the tail
Available from Amazon and major bookstores:
Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return
Available in USA and UK, in paperback and Kindle format
, 
, 
& 
& 
,
&
also
, 
also
,
also
, 
Paul C Burr 
