Archive for category Healing
Fearless versus “Fearlessness” – the difference between courage and wisdom
Posted by Doctapaul in Coaching, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Training & Development on September 27, 2011
Should we ignore, or remain in denial about adverse situations or issues, we learn little if anything at all. The situations fester and pester more and more. We feel more pain or hurt. Should we continue to isolate ourselves from our feelings of hurt about what’s going on, we isolate ourselves from love, joy and fulfillment as well. This might need some explanation.
Image sourced from The Hero Construction Company
We can’t learn if something is wet or not if we don’t know what not-wet, i.e. dry, is. Likewise, we are unable to be selective when we detach ourselves from negative emotions. Should we detach ourselves from sadness, we detach ourselves from not sadness, i.e. joy.
I recall when a relationship, I was in, broke up, not too long ago. I took myself to the pub at night, to inebriate myself from the fear and sadness of spending lonely evenings on my own. It took me 9 months before I readied myself to acknowledge the sadness, fear and start to move on life.
So here’s the curious dichotomy: when we ignore or deny fear, we deny not-fear – i.e. courage.
And it takes courage to deal with inner issues. In fact, all issues are inner issues. (When the relationship ended we both had issues to resolve but they were different issues.She had hers. I had mine. They were both proprietary.) The more courage we demonstrate to ourselves to deal with our inner issues the more we learn about them.
And when we learn more about a subject, we become wiser, we become expert and eventually we become a master. Not only are we a master at what’s going on, we become a master over our fears. We don’t hide from, or deny, them. We manage our fears. We control them. We become warriors. We become heroes. To some people, this ends the journey (“Hail, the all conquering hero!”). It does not. It ends a significant part of the journey and starts the next.
When we acknowledge our fear and gain mastery over it – we start to experience the stillness or void from which we base our actions. We start to realise that the issue, we faced, was attracted by and to our fear. We brought the issue, perhaps unknowingly and albeit unwantedly, on ourselves. The issue brought the fear to the surface so that we can erase that fear and evolve to the good.This is a fundamental rule to the game of life. (It might even be the only rule. I’m still working that one out.)
When the fear is fully out in the open in front of us, noone else,we see through it. We wise up to the habits and patterns inside of us that manifest that fear. We realise that those habits and patterns are only habits and patterns – and nothing more. They are not reality but responses we took on, usually in our early childhood, to adverse situations. And when we see their illusory nature, they disappear and so does the fear.
We begin to realise we had nothing to fear in the first place. At this stage we are not fearless, instead we experience fearlessness. We have transmuted our fearless state of mind into fearlessness.
The warrior or hero does not ignore or deny, but manages and controls, their fear. The master or magician, through the wisdom from insight, dissolves fear. Magicians are not brave. They have no need to be. They know fear for what it is – a very real-like illusion.
Fearlessness is a symptom of having achieved a spiritual step on our road to enlightenment. Only two types of people experience fearlessness – masters and fools.
When we become a master at one stage of our journey we instantly become a fool (or totally uninitiated) in the next stage. We become both master and fool at the same time.
We experience the two purposes of fearlessness:
- It tells us we’ve achieved mastery at one level
- It gives us the encouragement to tackle the next stage in our development.
Such is the computer game called “Life” – until we take the last step, of course.
/|\
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
About loneliness….
Posted by Doctapaul in book, Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on August 26, 2011
Loneliness is something we feel when we are not happy with our own company.
Image by Said, Delta Papyrus Centre
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
ps Focus on the image of the Pharoah Ankh-n-aton.
- Do you notice. like me, how the image seems to switch from left to right?
- Do you notice that image is looking at you? Cool huh?
Passion + Detachment = Key
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on August 24, 2011
“ A burning passion coupled with absolute detachment is the key to all success. ”
Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948)
Image courtesy of Dolls of India
Tip for the day: Complain or Inspire, we choose.
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Poetry, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on August 23, 2011
When I complain a lot I tend to attract even more things to complain about.
The secret? Park all complaints. The Heart never judges. Focus, instead, on what you’re passionate about; that which inspires creativity.
“The Lodges all shall know that I am he.
Who searches loins and hearts to oversee,
All works creative and all works that find,
Treasures of knowledge in the Cosmic Mind.”
– from The Message to the Hierarchy of Helios, The Sun Regent, on the awakening of the Heart Chakra.
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Words of Wisdom
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Poetry, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom on August 22, 2011
“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is ‘AUTHENTICITY’.”
…..from Charlie Chaplin’s, Words of Wisdom.
Image from Allposters
Fear Attracts Fear – Case Study
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Coaching, Healing, Personal, Self Development, Selling, Training & Development on August 19, 2011
I coached an experienced salesperson who had fallen on hard times. Sales were down.
Like all good salespeople, he worked extra hard, and made as many sales calls as he could. He crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s in abundant call reports, to demonstrate his commitment and loyalty to his bosses. Alas, all to no avail.
Image from How Stuff Works
Like most of us (I include myself) it was easy to blame the economy………………
I asked what was driving him. Back came the response “Well I’m behind in my numbers and I want to catch up. I don’t want to lose my job!”
I asked a series of questions:
Q: “So fear drives your actions?”
A:“Yeh, I’ve got a wife and kids to support” came the answer.
Q: “To what extent do your friends and colleagues share your fear?”
A:“Quite a few, it’s time like this you find out who your friends are.”
Q: “To what extent do your existing customers share in your fear?”
A: “Yeh, a few have intimated that I’m trying too hard and come across as more pushy than usual. They are a bit apprehensive about me.”
Q: “And what of new customers and prospects?”
A: “Yes again, everybody I meet seems fearful to do anything right now, even when the business case is clear cut.”
So what’s going on here? I’ve coached many people in this predicament. Here’s what I’ve seen, time and again.
What drives us, we attract. Fear attracts fear.
So in the above client’s case, the coaching focused on tools to switch out fear and replace it with what the client wanted instead: “creative confidence”.
Within weeks, despite an ailing economy, the client’s sales figures went from poor, to fair, to good, to very good. He got back on track.
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
You Inner Darkness Beckons your Light
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Personal, Self Development, Soundbytes of Wisdom, Visions and Dreams on August 18, 2011
That part of you; the darkness in your psyche; it fills the gap between your personality and True Self. Many people mistake this darkness as something to fear.
Fear not, it beckons your light. Its unseen map, once illumined, shows you the way to your complete self.
It differs from your inner teacher and inner child. Its direct messages pull no punches. It sometimes can transmit its messages without words – you experience an instantaneous download of resources and programming. You may not articulate ably these resources given you. Nonetheless, you receive them. You experience them for yourself. You know. You have no need to explain them to anyone else.
We are blinded when we look at noon day sun. At night, when no clouds (emotions) block our view, we can see infinity.
The glory lies in the darkness. Tis there we find the path to our True Self and purpose in life.
Darkness, thus, serves a purpose in our lives. A purpose equally as important as The Light. Neither embrace your darkness nor deny it. Avoid trying to control it. That will make you into a false sun that rules, and is ultimately ruled ,by fear (not Love).
Instead shine your Light (Love) into it unconditionally. Ask for, but expect nothing, to receive everything.
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
4 Warning Signs that Tell You “You’re not ready!”
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Healing, Leadership, Life's Changes, Personal, Relationships, Self Development, Training & Development on August 18, 2011
x 4
Can you recall a time when you set off on a venture and ignored or didn’t spot early warning signs that things were probably not going to go to plan? Those things are much easier to see in hindsight when “the milk has been spilt.” At the outset, our emotional attachment to the outcome is high. Those emotions however can cloud our vision of what’s possibly about to go awry. We head down the path to disappointment. We can avoid the path to disappointment and setback, when we can read the “road-signs”.
Four warning signs that point to pending setback and disappointment (in a relationship, in business, in everyday life):
- You get upset easily; means your pride is hurt. When you get emotional quickly and easily, you give your power to those you get upset with. You are clouded with emotion. You cannot see out what to do. Others cannot see in. You isolate yourself.
- Less power leads to low self esteem. You don’t feel good about yourself. This leads to fear.
- Fear of further upset and isolation: in extreme cases you despair and turn to others and do their bidding – in order to maintain some form of connection. This is not love or friendship. It is….
- Mind control: someone else has you under their thumb. This is not love. It’s manipulation. You have no way out, until you find the courage to get out from under.
So we can start by acknowledging our vulnerabilities. Which means neither embrace or deny them. Instead learn from them. Accept them for what they are…. head trash that needs dealing with.
We can go it alone – but I’ve found solitude and contemplation takes a wee bit too long for me. Instead I seek help… either through a group or an “energy healer”.
When you ready yourself to learn, your teacher will appear -and vice versa.
And should you choose to do nothing about it? Prepare yourself.
Because…. ( a definition for not taking responsibility)
“When the rocket is lit, your backside will appear.”
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
The Fear of Fear
Posted by Doctapaul in Business, Healing, Leadership, Personal, Pitfalls I've Fallen Into, Relationships, Self Development on August 16, 2011
"Fear" by lilith_abi
Fear is a strong word. It can be an uncomfortable word. If we over-embrace fear, we end up doing nothing about it. Paradoxically the fear of fear; not talking about fear, not thinking about fear can lead to….. denial – of the conscious and unconscious fears (“let’s not go there”) that hold us back.
(Image sourced from lilith_abi.)
So it’s about creating a structure and process where we can acknowledge our fears and vulnerabilities. When we deny fear, we deny our Truth. Research shows, living our Truth is the key to creating a healthy level of self worth.
This presents a challenge to the fiefdoms in politics and business in this “winner takes all” world we’ve created. A world where one man’s vulnerabilities and mistakes are seized by another for their own gain.
It points to a new world where property, wealth and “ownership” is based on equitable negotiation and usage, not forfeiture. Where one serves all as part of our social contract. Leaders do the leading, rulers do the ruling, Kings and Queens do the king-ing or queen-ing. They are jobs with reponsibilities and accountabilities, not titles. Ah-ha – I feel a whole new blog coming on.
Ω
Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Follow @paulburr
Dealing with change, making the transition more effectively
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Life's Changes, Love, Personal, Relationships on August 12, 2011
Change doesn’t hurt us. The emotional journey to making that change can
be hurtful though, if not cathartic.
Unexpected or unwanted change (for example, we lose something or someone precious) can feel like the world has collapsed in on us. We find it difficult just to acknowledge what has come to an end. (Image by: zirconicusso)
“It was hell. I couldn’t get my ex-girlfriend out of my head. There were times I would panic. I wondered how I would get through the next 30 seconds of my life and keep myself together. I loved her so much and she was gone. Every few minutes her memory would pop into my head. And the panic and heartache would start all over again. This went on for months.”
When we can’t acknowledge an ending, it means that we are not fully in a position to learn – from it or what went prior to the ending.
“’I acknowledge’ means I accept, as best I can, what has happened and ready myself to learn.”
Acknowledgement doesn’t mean we’ve gotten over what happened, far from it. The early period of what happens to us next can still be tough, very tough.
In time, we allow ourselves to start to look objectively at the facts. We try as best we can to detach ourselves from the emotions that hold us back and construct a way forward for us to move on. Sometimes we race too early to start a new beginning. But starting something new, “on the rebound” doesn’t often work.
It’s important that we grieve and not deny our feelings. And likewise it’s equally important that we busy ourselves whilst we grieve – for “wallowing in the mud does not make us clean”, as the saying goes.
“When we deny our emotions we cannot be selective. We cannot numb ourselves from hurt and suffering without numbing ourselves from joy and happiness at the same time.”
As time passes, we sometimes ‘think’ we have got over what happened. We haven’t.
As time passes, we can ‘believe’ we have got over what happened. We haven’t.
As time passes, we will ‘feel’ we have got over what happened. We haven’t.
It’s not until we ‘know’ we have gotten over that something or someone, are we ready to start a new beginning in our lives.
How do we know when we’ve gotten over someone (or something)? When their memory crops up, we give that memory minimal negative energy. That is, we give it minimal anger, sadness, fear or guilt. It’s not digital on/off switch. For me, memories of everyone I’ve loved, and have now gone from my life, still have a tinge of sadness – but only a tinge. I know I’ve gotten over that relationship.
Shine on…! Paul C Burr
Tend (Y)our Garden
Posted by Doctapaul in Healing, Personal, Poetry, Self Development on August 6, 2011
My Dark Cloud thickens.
Neither can I see within or without.
I rage.
I weep.
I fear, I alone.
Behind my pride, clouded in emotion,
My soul, thrown and tumulted,
At last crys…
“ENOUGH! Be gone.
Blacken my view, no more.
Let the storm clouds break.”
I pour water on Upset, Resentment and Guilt.
An angel rescues me from the abyss.
The Dark Cloud (my fear) fades,
I see what lies beyond,
A mirror of my own self,
My unkempt garden.
I tend my garden.
And help you with yours.
Tis the same garden.
Not ours to own – but to share.
In that garden grows the Love I, not I, we have for all mankind.
Tis called Eden.
Shine on…!
@paulburr
Fear or Fulfillment – you choose
I’m wrapping my head around this. Please contribute to my thoughts.
I advised one of my clients that decisions we make borne out of fear, don’t take away that fear. The fear lingers. Decisions we make out of not-fear, love, take us down the path toward our life’s purpose.
She asked, “How do I tell the difference?”
I answered, “When you’ve achieved or completed something, do you feel relieved or fulfilled?. The secret to finding the path is to do those things that bring a sense of fulfillment when complete.”
Shine on…!
@paulburr
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Paul C Burr 