Archive for category Quirky Ideas

Mindfulness – Wakening to the Framework of What-Is and What-Is-Not, The Law of Reversibility

(The Foreword to my forthcoming booklet, The Threefold Death – Mindfulness: Wakening to the Law of Reversibility)

Face Optical IllusionImage courtesy of interestingcreativedesigns

The Law of Reversibility

Situations (events and people) can affect your emotional state. The reverse holds true too; inducing that same emotional state will manifest those same events and people into your life.

Manifesting is not attracting. It’s creating something that’s already there, yet unseen, vibration. This is the paradox of duality. For ‘something’ to be present, ‘not-that-something’ also exists, at the same time. For example, when you ask someone to marry you, they may say, “yes” (success) or “no” (not-success). You know the shape of a building because the air around it is not-that-building.

So how can you apply this principle to life and death? Answer: it requires a fundamental reframe.

The opposite of death is not life, it is birth. Life is eternal.
Paraphrased from Eckhart Tolle

There is no such thing as death in the traditional sense of its definition. Upon death, the physical body returns to its constituent elements and consciousness leaves the body, unseen, reborn into the vibration it came from. Death and birth are coincidental. You give birth to new levels of consciousness in life by bringing death to, killing, those things that you allow to stop the birthing process. And…

You can only bring death to, or kill, that which you have power over (i.e. the properties of things you own or control): your personality, your feelings, your outlook – and how you perceive, and thus respond to, the information you amass through your five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste). You do not have control over the events and people in your life – but you always have control over how you respond to them.

Author’s extract from Defrag your Soul: If you perceive life negatively for a few hours, people will think you’re in a mood. If your negativity lasts a few weeks, others may think that you’re depressed. If your negativity sustains over a longer term, others will define you as someone with a negative personality – or of a negative character.

Your outlook in life shapes your responses to its peaks, middles (“Glass half full, half empty?”) and troughs. Your sustained responses, define your character – and thus your destiny…

All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character … (and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.
CC Zain

A deeper process of ‘personal alchemy’ is at work…

Strength of character comes not from a life of ease and tranquillity but from a life in which our hearts, minds and sometimes bodies are pitted against forces we do not understand.
Paraphrased from The Druid Plant Oracle, by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm

Change in your consciousness is only brought about by changing your character; ergo, changes (preceded by deaths) to certain aspects of your personality and feelings, which in turn are shaped by the framework of how you perceive the information you gather through your five senses. Life, at some level, is thus about opening, as Aldous Huxley so eloquently puts it, the doors of perception AND shaping your character accordingly and consciously.

As you open the doors, you waken to the framework of what-is and what-is-not, the principles of spirit and matter, the Laws of the Light, the framework of truth borne of justice, just-is. It requires focus, imagination, faith in yourself, and a cleansing of the mind.

All whom I love I teach, but first confute,
Thus from their minds all errors to uproot.
For truth by biased minds is ne’er divined,
Therefore seek wisdom, but first cleanse the mind.

From Message to the Hierarchy of Selene, from The Restored New Testament: The Hellenic Fragments…, by James Morgan Pryse)

Otherwise you will not know clearly whether you will manifest what you want or its polar opposite, its duality…

The Paradox of Duality

To know love, for example, you need to know not-love. So learning not-love serves a purpose. You are indirectly learning about love. And you won’t experience love wholly until you complete your learning. Here lies the rub of duality. This is how life works.


3FD Paperback Cover


Be clear that what you imagine will bring you what your soul seeks. And know that all the things you experience – that you don’t want – serve a purpose.

My forthcoming booklet describes three fundamental deaths (or reframes) to aspects of personality, feelings and perception of what-is and what-is-not  – or as the story of Merlin portrays, The Threefold Death.

These three reframes are fundamental to your wakening.

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model

Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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Full Blood Super Moon(Lunar Eclipse) in Aries, starts 3.11am and completes 4.24am BST, 28 Sept 2015

Aries, the hot head of the signs ruled by Mars, hosts the moon goddess, Selena, in her full glory, in the wee hours of tomorrow morning. Not only that, Selena is at her most powerful, bestowing influence from her closest proximity in her eliptic path around the earth.

Passions may well run high tonight, especially if you have your natal sun, moon or rising sign in Aries. The lust-re of Selena will reach its zenith. Tonight is a night for hot love, hot lust but beware you avoid making it a night for blood-lust, metaphorically and literally speaking.

Those of you who have Mars in a prominent position in your birth chart, may well experience his power. Those around you will be subject to this power. Be careful that you avoid falling foul of your false-ego’s lust for martian power. Over exertion will go beyond the outcome you seek – and cause harm.

Reflect over the last six months, since March. Which situations or relationships have arisen to make you angry, resentful, hurt or wounded. Whom do you blame or still carry a grudge toward? Now, at the time of the harvest moon, is time to let these feelings fall to earth. Cast them aside and reap the harvest within.

The Blood Moon specifically facilitates the opportunity to look within and seek the nature of the fear that attracted these situations and relationships. For that is their purpose, to awaken you to the fear (not-love) within.

This is the nature of duality. We know something is wet because its not dry. We know something is oblong because its not curved. We know love by knowing not-love.

And when we see through the murkiness of our fear, we see the light, the love, within. We see more of our true nature. We take a step closer to our purpose in life.

Selena’s gift, from her Blood Super Moon’s station, awaits.

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model

Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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Blue Moon in Aquarius, 31 July 2015….

Blue_Moon-580x386…..opposing the generous and regal Leo in you, whose pride is easily hurt.

Take a big step back a look at the structure of, and emotions in, your life.
How have you developed over the last two weeks?
How have you developed over since January, this year?

Include yourself, in mind, body and spirit….
Emotionally, where or with whom have you received (a balance with) what you give?
Where are you giving too much? Do you do so out of duty, fear or love?
Where are you receiving more than you give? Do you do so out of pleasure or fear?

Take another step back. Look at the big picture in your life. Consider the consequences of your fears. This is a good time (When is it not?) to switch out all the decisions you are making in life out of fear.

Ask Billie Holiday!

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model

Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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Druid Science – The Death or Rebirth of Incompletions

An extract from my forthcoming booklet (working title), The Threefold Death: the changes you make to approach inner wakefulness.

Of Spirit Force…

I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume, behind this force, the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter.
Max Planck, 1917

Max Plank

Image courtesy of Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestial Science

The future ‘dies’ when it meets the present – which ‘dies’ instantaneously into the past. There is plenty of evidence to prove what has happened in the past. Statisticians, economists and scientists gather evidence to project what will happen in the future. Despite all the evidence, the past no longer ‘is’ and future ‘is not’ yet present.

The only moment that truly ‘is’, is the present. Yet there is no evidence that the present tense exists – by this I mean, as close as scientists get to it, the present tense cannot be experienced through our five senses; it thus cannot be measured. What scientists measure instead is the before and after effects of ultra-micro interactions in time and space: for example, proton collisions, using the Hadron Collider in Switzerland. The Present Tense – which cannot be measured directly – is termed by scientists as a singularity point.

According to The Big Bang Theory, the universe started with such a singularity point. We can measure to within a zillionth of a second what happened after its inception, but we are not sure what banged – and the question of ‘why’, what-banged banged, transcends philosophical, religious, mystical, spiritual, and metaphysical domains.

The same holds true for black holes and dark matter. Scientists know of their existence because of the effect they have on things that can be observed and measured. Mathematical theory suggests that time and space collapse into nothing, a singularity point, at the centre of a black hole.

Time and space emanate from singularity points and ultimately return. And what fills that time and space (according to Planck and the ancients) is but a projection of the universal mind – of which you are an essential part. Through your mind you project thoughts, speak words and commit actions. And…

You are governed by The Laws of the Light and The Law of Consequences which, collectively, invoke dharma (Divine will) and karma (consequences).

The Laws of the Light:

When you commit to a journey, in line with your and others’ consciousness needs, at the right time and place, what you need will come your way.

The Law of Consequences:

What you project (do, say and think) out to the universe, returns to you amplified.

You attract, in/from the future, everything that is complete as well as incomplete in your approach to achieving your goals in life.

  • Completion: When something within is complete; you do, say, think, and feel things borne of the heart – love, light, compassion, patience, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You will have The Laws of the Light with you.
  • Incompletion: Unchecked, will invoke things you do, say and think not borne of the heart but instead borne of anger, shame, hurt, or fear.

I shall focus primarily on incompletions.

Should you learn and act appropriately from future’s gift (‘present’), you ‘complete your incompletion’. The incompletion unifies with its duality and thus is no longer perceivable by the mind. Zero projection by the mind means ‘it’ no longer exists in time and space. ‘It’, your completed incompletion, dies into the Present Tense, your true nature.

Should you ignore (or remain ignorant of) your incompletion, it travels unacknowledged into the past only to resurface again in (or back to) the future. Why? Because your mind is still projecting this incompletion through your thoughts, words and deeds.

The most common example, I know of, is the troublesome relationships that we invoke, time and time again. Relationships that keep repeating until we learn what we need to learn about ourselves and then ‘do’ something different in our approach. I have fallen foul of this as much as anyone I know.

Incompletions (recap: the inner things in me that attract the outer things I allow to make me feel angry, ashamed, hurt or fearful) keep being reborn in my life until I transcend to become my true nature – the love, light, truth and gnosis: the chokmah or wisdom of the I-am, the Je-suis, the Je-su(i)s within – as one of the standing stones in a circle at Stonehenge. This is my purpose in life.

Stonehenge under a red sky

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach, Author, Public Speaker, Visiting Lecturer, Singer, Film Extra and Model

Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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Lunar Eclipse in Libra, 4 April 2015

Total-Lunar-Eclipse-WallpaperAlthough not visible from UK, you can still enjoy the opportunity the Lunar Eclipse brings the whole earth. It begins around 11am BST.

The moon reflects the light of the sun outside and inside, in our emotional world. An eclipse turns the moon dark red which means we can look within and, albeit temporarily, investigate the darkness within.

Libra, the scales of justice, encourages us to judge and bring balance into our lives – the harmony of self.

Justice,’just is’, means assessing what is and what is not for what it is and is not, without condemnation.

Judgement means reflect….

What is it that you think, say and do that makes you feel good? What happens to whom when you think, say or do these things?  How do you feel inside? At peace? Healthy? Self-worth? Joy? Love? (Where or to whom could you “spread the love”?)

What is it that you think, say and do that makes you feel not good? What happens to whom when you think, say or do these things?  How do you feel inside? Angry, Ashamed? Hurt? Fearful? What would happen instead if you did not think, say or do these things, not – things, nothing?

What is it that you could think, say or do instead that would bring inner peace and harmony? Practise… Patience? Compassion? Mindfulness? Commitment? Faith in self? Enthusiasm? Curiosity?…

‘Judge’ does not mean ‘condemn’. Be ok with your vulnerabilities and dark feelings. Close your eyes, and imagine placing them in a bubble in front of you. Shine light into the bubble. And when your ready, allow the bubble to float into the infinite void of self-forgiveness within.

Image courtesy of, and can be downloaded as a wallpaper from, photographylife.

See what this eclipse will look like to those in the Pacific Rim.

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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A Self-help Exercise for the Solar Eclipse, Friday, 20 March 2015: Super Selene Eclipses Helios’ Light

The Lunar Eclipse reaches its zenith at precisely 9:35:18am here in Hove, East Sussex, UK.

You can check out its effect and timing where you are by linking to

The transit takes place at 29 degrees, Pisces, the most fantastical of the signs. Pisces brings us both the dreams of the cosmos (truth) and the world of illusion. Neptune, ruler of Pisces, now swims in its vast waters and will continue his journey through Pisces’ constellation for another eleven years. See Neptune Plunges into Pisces, 2012-2026 .

The Pisces/Neptune effect will thus be at its strongest. Furthermore the transit occurs in the last degree of Pisces which is a fractal of all the power and influence of the whole constellation.

The eclipse also precedes the Spring Equinox, the time to break through the surface to the light of summer which can only succeed when the seeds of our actions are rooted in truth.

Another biggy in the sky is Uranus (in Aries) squaring up with Pluto (in Sagittarius). The result is a huge tension between the revolutionary Uranus and the god of the underworld (death and transformation). So if you’ve been feeling the need for some radical change within recently – it’s probably down to Uranus and Pluto making their weight felt.

In summation, this solar eclipse could be far more powerful than we realise – and it heralds a time for change – global and personal. Discernment – between what is (true) and what is not (illusory) – is key.

Circle in square

The magicians of old spoke of the circle (the eternal body) within the square (the physical body). We live in the mother matrix (square) of this earthly realm, within which we find the eternal circle of life and death.

During the eclipse, the eternal circle of the sun is broken and interrupted for a couple of hours by the intervening moon. We lose a part of our connection, temporarily, with the eternal but we can use this opportunity to think and act practically; to change that which is rooted in not-truth (illusion) to truth.

Here’s a wee exercise to complete during the two hour window of opportunity that the solar eclipse brings you. Write down the answers to these questions by hand on notepaper to keep with you over the coming months.

  1. What are all the things that you are doing right now that you feel not-good about after you’ve done them?
  2. What is the logic behind why you do these things? What are the consequences of continuing these actions (or thoughts) in the short, medium and long term?
  3. How do you feel shortly after you’ve been doing these things? List down all the not-good feelings.
  4. How would you prefer to feel instead? List all the good feelings.
  5. What would you be doing differently that would engender these good feelings?
  6. What would be the consequences of doing these different things that would bring you good feelings?
  7. So what is that you commit to stop doing and what do you commit to doing differently instead?
  8. Will you start on or before the Spring Equinox? If your answer is “yes”, do it.

Switch from doing those things that make you feel not-good to things that make you feel good.

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>15,000 followers)

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The Game of Life

MystiqueExtract from The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love) and adapted, in part, from Druid wisdom (ref: Light and Life, a series of booklets written by David Loxley, Chief Druid, The Druid Order, London).

Your purpose is more than to succeed. It is to learn and apply the wisdom needed to succeed.

Success is the goal, but life is the time and space that happens in between now and reaching that goal. You attract the future that comes towards you. The future presents you with what remains incomplete right now in your life. The future presents the present with the opportunity to learn about yourself, (conscious and especially sub-conscious sources of anger, hurt, shame and fear) incomplete wisdom – AND apply the wisdom gleaned to release these ‘incompletions’ – completeness. Should you complete what is incomplete, it travels into the past and need not return.

The game of life was understood by the Egyptians in the time of the Ancient Kingdom (pre 3000BCE).

Sun Boat

Whatever travels into the past that remains incomplete ‘returns to the future’. Whatever issues (i.e. unlearned or unapplied wisdom) that remain incomplete, be they business or personal, return again and again until you complete them. You know something is incomplete when you have allowed any residual anger, hurt, shame or fear to control your thoughts, deeds or words.

When you start something, complete it.

The Mystique to the Game of Life

In this earthly realm you cannot have anything without having ‘not-that-thing’ to compare it with. This is the nature of duality. For example, you cannot know what ‘wet’ is without knowing what not-wet, ‘dry’, is. Tall/short, wide/narrow, hot/cold, light/dark: anything you come up with has its dual. Some things are directly opposed as such with a continuum of gradualness between them, e.g. cold – warm – hot, negative – neutral – positive. Some things are binary: on/off, male/female, truth/illusion, love/fear.

As you journey through life, who teaches you love? How do you know what love is? You start with a definition of love given to you by your parents. From adolescence onwards you shape that definition through the relationships that come towards you (from the future).

If you listen, relationships tell you what you don’t love about yourself.

The future presents you with what is incomplete in your wisdom of love; the opportunity to discern love from not-love (fear). Whether you choose to learn – and more importantly apply – that wisdom, is up to you.

When you are presented with not-love in a relationship that is precious to you, in an indirect way, you are being given the opportunity to learn to love regardless of what the other person does: real love, unconditional love. The best example of unconditional love, I can think of, is the kind of love a grandparent can have for their grandchild.

Should you choose to apply not-love, i.e. you choose to ignore (not-learn) the wisdom of love, then the ‘opportunity to learn and apply love’ passes into past only to return to the future. You appreciate this when you notice that you attract a series of repeating patterns in relationship after relationship.

The next bit took me a wee while to figure out. It’s subtle. You may want to read it a few times because I didn’t get it first, second or even the third time around.

In the context of this book, let’s say that you’re in love with someone. You define success as having a long term loving and intimate relationship with that person. (Success can be any outcome you want in life by the way, e.g. a big house, a job, health, a sales victory, anything.) Alongside success, in the future, sits not-success (I am deliberately avoiding the f-word).

For example, if you’re going to ask someone to marry you, they may decline. If your outcome is to win a sales campaign, you may lose. The closer you get to the decision, the closer you get to success and not-success. Herein lies the mystique to the law of attraction, the law of reversibility and magic. In order to appreciate this mystique I need to explain life’s purpose. (See Appendix 1 for glossary of terms. You can read all about the aforementioned laws, magic and life’s purpose in my book, Defrag your Soul.)

Your purpose in life is to find, open, become and express your true nature, the ‘real you’, the hu-man (= light being) in you. Outcomes, goals and targets are, by comparison, external things in life that we set out to achieve that we feel will give us a sense of fulfilment or security.

Yet, for example, there is nothing intrinsically of value with money, diamonds or gold. We can’t do anything with these things unless there is common agreement that they are valued by others and can be used to barter for things we want.

Money doesn’t teach us per se about love or light. It does equip us to have a materially comfortable lifestyle but it doesn’t, of itself, do anything for us spiritually. Yet the journey to achieving money (or anything for that matter) is a spiritual journey because life (the future) will present (in every given moment, the present tense) you with what is incomplete in your life – people, events situations that reflect those ‘parts’ within you that stand in the way of you becoming your true nature. You manifest these ‘parts’ in the form of anger, hurt, shame and fear. When you define and go for future success in terms of love, money or wellbeing then not-love, not money, not-wellbeing exists in the future as well.

There is what seems a natural and logical tendency to avoid not-success and this is why and where you attract it.

Let’s get commercial for a paragraph. Take sales for example. Let’s say you’re in a competitive bid to win a sales campaign and the customer has objections, some of which might be hidden, to your proposal. If you attempt to deny the customer’s right to air their objections by ignoring them or arguing with the customer about the fallacy of their logic or perception, you undervalue your bid. If on the other hand you seek out any hidden objection but fear to handle it, (i.e. you fear to… reframe any misperceptions or resolve genuine problems with and counterbalance genuine drawbacks to your proposal) then you allow the objection to take control of the sales situation, i.e. you allow fear to control your actions and that fear can spread to the customer. If you allow fear to seize control, you can end up doing nothing, perhaps like ‘a rabbit caught in headlights’. Your sales proposal may thus be regarded as ‘incomplete’ in the value it offers.

Let’s cover wealth and not-wealth, i.e. poverty (something I was very fearful of for most of my life). Most people I meet fear poverty. When you seek wealth through actions borne of the fear of poverty, you may well succeed. You may earn a vast fortune and distance yourself materially from poverty; by more than you could expect to spend in a lifetime. Do you feel secure? You may well do. Have you released yourself from the fear of poverty? No: if by some chance you lost your fortune, the fear of poverty may well return.

Actions borne of fear, even when hugely successful, do not release that fear. They simply keep that fear in abeyance. The journey to your true nature remains incomplete.

Let’s get back to the relationship you want. If you apply and only apply love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness to your quest then you are on the right track to success. What do I mean by completeness?

Completeness means acknowledgement of any anger, hurt, shame and fear that the image of not-success presents you. If you attempt to avoid not-success through thoughts, deeds and words borne of anger, hurt, shame or fear; you are denying yourself the opportunity to release these negative emotions; they control you. But they are not the ‘real you’, they are a shadow that hides the ‘real you’ from you – and those who love you and whom you love.

Nor does it serve your life purpose to deny  or banish these negative feelings. For you cannot ‘release’ what you do not acknowledge to possess.

Update: Just this last year I have discovered that negative feelings are not there for ‘releasing’ in the sense of ‘let-them-go-elsewhere’. Instead, release them into the void, the space above (and between) the mental and emotional worlds within you and below the supernal you. Instead of the word ‘release’, these days, I prefer to use the term, ‘integrate’.

To be explored in a future blog….


Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Autumn Equinox, New Moon in Libra, Pluto Moves Forward in the Sky Again

crescent-moon-goddessTake a few moments to ‘harvest’ in all the new and enabling habits and developments in your inner world over the last 12 months.

Pluto in Capricorn has finished its back-tracking and now moves direct in the sky again. Your ‘digging up of old ground’ is now over. To the ancients (and hippies), ‘dig’ means think, see, get-it. Did you, can you, dig it?

Take stock as Pluto moves forward. Which lingering thoughts and habits no longer serve a useful purpose. Review those that you now wish to lay to rest.

Harvest: celebrate as you acknowledge the new and bid farewell to the old.

How can you bring more balance, truth and justice to your worlds, both outer and inner? The New Moon in Libra and Pluto offers you the opportunity to transform and begin anew.

Image courtesy of Susan Levitt

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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In Your Business (or Personal) Life, What is Mindfulness?

Extracts from Quick Guide V: How to Apply Mindfulness to Business.

Front Cover 8.5x5.25


Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Allow me to add my own business related definition.

Mindfulness is responding in the present moment without reacting through anger, shame, hurt or (the most likely feeling) fear. Instead it’s about having faith-in-self to use your intuition to respond with passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, compassion, harmony, and timing to complete whatever is incomplete in your approach to business relationships.


If you are mindful of, moment by moment, you…

  • Demonstrate faith-in self, passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, and compassion.
  • Avoid both panicking and reacting out of anger, shame, hurt, and fear – instead, under-react.
  • Create harmony and resonance to nurture The Master Mind.

A Master Mind may be created through the bringing together or blending, in a spirit of perfect harmony, of two or more minds. Out of this harmonious blending the chemistry of the mind creates a third mind which be appropriated and used by one or all of the individual minds.
from The Law of Success, Napoleon Hill

  • Complete incompletions (when the future presents them to you and in the past you may have reacted negatively) to time.

Then, with these intentions, actions and qualities you apply…

The Mystique

You will induce everything that’s incomplete in your approach to your business relationship. This is the future’s gift to the present moment. You are given the opportunity to rise above anger, shame, hurt, and fear (borne of the past tense).

When you complete anything in your business approach that is incomplete, it travels into the past and need never return. If you react negatively, i.e. it remains incomplete, it travels into the past before returning to the future – so that you attract the same source of anger, shame, hurt, and fear once again.

The goals of nurturing healthy business relationships may be financial success and kudos but these things are not the purpose.

The real purpose of any relationship, business or otherwise, is the development of self (consciousness) to be the very best at what you do.

When you achieve the above, the goals and purpose become one. You cannot fail because there is no one better and you have no fear of not-success – because…

The Mystique
Genuinely having no fear tells you that not-success no longer exists.

There’s a corollary to this. To release your fear you need to approach not-success. Which is why I encourage you to…

Include not-success as well as success in what you want.

Get it?

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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The Mystique to the Game of Life

IMG_1662Extracts from my forthcoming booklet (now in draft form, being proof-read):

The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love)

#Mindfulness in Relationships Series, No 1

Have you ever loved someone so dearly and have that love not returned? The other person shares everything apart from their love. They refuse to surrender themselves to the process of love; the unconditional surrender of freedom to the commitment that love requires.

Have you ever felt sick to the stomach over unrequited love?

Have you ever yearned in your heart or loins for someone when your head is telling you…

  • “This is absolutely the wrong partner for you”?
  • “Bottom line, she/he just doesn’t fancy you”?
  • “You and him/her, it’s never going to happen”?

Or something like

  • “She/he simply doesn’t love you the way you love her/him”?

Your head judges, your loins desire sexual fulfilment and your heart seeks to share love. I call this the Head, Heart and Loins dynamics of a relationship. When all three are aligned, within and between partners, their relationship is probably in good shape to meet the outcomes they seek. (The same holds true for a personal friendship whether there is a sexual element to that friendship or not.) I speak neither of good nor bad, nor moralise. I speak of the process of achieving a purpose through the journey to the goals you set for the relationship, be those goals profound or for short term recreation.

Mindfulness, sometimes referred to as being present in the moment, is the process of creating love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness in the moment (by moment) – regardless of whether these vibrations are returned or not. It takes mindfulness to fulfil a relationship’s true purpose, which curiously can be achieved whether the goals are achieved or not.

For example, in movies and songs I’ve heard the phrase, “You complete me”. Well if someone’s purpose is to become complete and they set a goal to find someone who completes them – what happens should they achieve completeness? They no longer need someone else for that purpose.

Other people don’t complete you. You find ‘completeness’ through the journey to ‘completeness’; you find ‘oneness’.

Mindfulness is the vehicle by which to travel the journey.

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf

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How to Be at your Peak in Every Key Meeting

QGIV Book Cover 3MbExtract from Quick Guide IV – A Scorecard that Accounts for Mindfulness in Business

Top performers do three essential things to be at their peak.

1. Clarify your outcomes for the meeting in hand and how you want the relationship with the person to develop, meeting by meeting, one step at a time. Moderate performers focus less on the latter dimension.

2. Be mindful of the frame of the mind you want to be in and that any meeting (is hopefully a meeting of minds) is ultimately about helping everyone present to frame a congruent viewpoint of what needs to be done.

3. Prepare your strategy, primarily so that you allow yourself to get in the frame of mind you want to be.

Research I’ve come across and my own experience shows that the most important thing you take into a meeting is your frame of mind followed by being clear about the outcomes you seek. Having a strategy is important but, once the meeting has started, it’s factors ‘2’ and ‘1’ above (and in that order) that will determine most how you ‘handle any curve balls thrown your way’.

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author

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“I Feel Good, dah-dah dah-dah dah-dah-dah!”


Your outlook in life goes hand in hand with your personality. Personality is a long term habit. A habit is a long term mood. A mood is a long term feeling. So when you feel good and stay feeling good, you shape your outlook for the better. Do and say what feels good. If what you’re about to do doesn’t feel good, don’t do it!

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author

Image courtesy of Fans Share

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Effectiveness = Motivation x Confidence x Competence x Curiosity (Mindfulness in Business Meetings)

QG2 Book Cover 01Extract from Quick Guide II: How to Spot, Mimic and Become a Top Salesperson

Most sales training I’ve come across focuses primarily on developing a salesperson’s skills or competencies, for example: opening, qualifying, questioning, advocating, presenting, negotiating and closing. The intention is that, over time with experience, the salesperson will get better and better at demonstrating these skills. It follows logically that they’ll become more confident in their sales approach and thus hopefully more motivated.

I haven’t seen much in the way of material that focuses on engendering an ongoing sense of curiosity, for example, how can I be the best, if not better, at what I sell?

The E=MC3 equation implies that an individual’s effectiveness is three parts mental and emotional (motivation, competence and curiosity) to one part intellectual (competence).

Let’s take a first pass at each of the qualities: motivation, confidence, competence and curiosity.


Most salespeople are motivated to win, especially when the selling is relatively easy. Likewise, most are motivated by earnings and win bonuses. Some are motivated by advancing their career.

What motivates top salespeople? The answers from my research fall into three categories:

1. “To be the best I can be” or “…recognised as the best salesperson there is” – not only the best in terms of results but the best at selling too (outcomes + journey).

2. “To deliver customer value above and beyond that expected.”

3. “To create a legacy so that I am renowned for the value I bring to customers and my organisation’s business.”

In all three categories, the top performers are motivated by being (and being seen as) excellent. ‘Moderates’ talk of winning and earnings but talk less of personal excellence.


I worked with a 26 year old CEO of a recruitment firm who had a good reputation for hiring confident as opposed to arrogant people. I was asked to model how he went about the task. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: “How do you differentiate between a confident person and an arrogant one?”

CEO: “Well, I’m not sure; I just get a ‘feeling’.”

Me: “Describe that ‘feeling’.”

CEO: “Well you just sort of know, don’t you? It’s something you sense….. a gut feeling.”

Me: “Okay, imagine you have an arrogant person to your left and a confident to your right. What’s the difference between them?”

CEO: “The confident person asks questions; the arrogant person doesn’t. The confident person probes for where they feel they’ll bring value to the organisation. They look to find out if they will enjoy the role. They seek opportunities for themselves to grow in the role. The arrogant person takes a position that they have the knowledge and wisdom suitable for the job and makes no effort to see how well they’ll fit in.”

Top salespeople exude confidence by the quality of questions they ask as well as the articulacy by which they convey reassurance. (For a framework with which to construct quality sales questions, refer to the INCREASETM model in Number 1 of this series of business guides, Quick Guide – How Top Salespeople Sell.)


If you stacked all the sales training and development materials in the world on top of one another, you’d probably build a mountain higher than Mount Everest. So I’ll attempt to put a different slant on competence by giving you a customer’s perspective. (For completeness, Appendix 1 lists the skills and knowledge demonstrated by top salespeople at, and away from, the customer interface.)

A corporate salesperson spends, on average, 15% of their time speaking directly to a customer. Ergo, 85% of the time, they apply their skills and knowledge to researching, developing and planning; how to be more effective during the ‘15%’ customer interface window when the occasion arises.

Top performers prepare themselves, intellectually and psychologically, to be at their peak when speaking to the customer. They develop appropriate skills and knowledge (the intellectual exchange) and they also prepare themselves to be in the right frame of mind and body (the mental and emotional exchange) with the customer.

Being perceived as ‘competent’ by the customer requires you to be:

1. Prepared: with insightful questions to ask and have answers to potential customer questions, including facts, data and logic so that your proposals are visionary, ‘grounded in reality’ and hopefully compelling

2. Clear about the outcomes: What do you want to achieve in the meeting both in terms of the task-in-hand and your relationship with the customer (e.g. engender trust). It’s also being very clear about the outcomes the customer might want to achieve, in terms of their task-in-hand and from their relationship with a supplier like you.

Illustration: 4 Outcomes to a Meeting

Outcomes hires croppedMost of us prepare ‘box 1’ before a meeting. Many ‘moderates’ omit boxes 2 and 3 above from their preparatory work. Most salespeople miss out box 4 altogether – often because of a lack of self-belief and sometimes unconsciously. They don’t visualise themselves in a picture working closely with the customer.

3. In the right frame of mind: If you were to prioritise the three factors: Prepared, Clear Outcomes and Frame of Mind – which order would you place them?

Exercise: Allocate three weighting percentages (that add up to 100%) against Prepared, Clear Outcomes and Frame of Mind respectively – in terms of how important they are to being successful during (not before) a meeting.

Research shows…

The most important thing you take into a meeting is your frame of mind.

Be Mindful!

This statement often raises a few queries. It doesn’t say that you shouldn’t prepare diligently for a meeting. What it says instead is – the moment the meeting starts, the single most important factor that will determine your success is your frame of mind. You may well feel you have to do a significant amount of preparation to get yourself ‘centred’, for example. BUT it’s not the process the meeting follows that determines success the most; it’s you, your frame of mind and the thoughts that engender that frame of mind.

Specifically, whatever thought you process in your conscious mind passes straight into your unconscious mind and merges with any ‘subconscious programmes’ running there. The aggregate information is then passed directly to your DNA which vibrates at different rates in accord with your temperament. That is:

The vibe you put out determines your success.

I coached a very successful salesperson who never felt at her best in front of a CEO customer. It took a wee while for us to discover a subconscious programme she’d developed from her authoritarian parents, created by a ‘single significant emotional event’ when she was three years old. Once she ‘released’ this programme, her faith-in-self in front of CEO’s increased significantly. Her sales soared.

Research by scientists (e.g. The Biology of Belief, by Dr Bruce Lipton and The Genie in your Genes, by Dr Matthew Dawson) demonstrates the subliminal communicative functioning power of DNA between human beings which can be harmonious (I prefer the term, ‘resonant’) or out of tune (dissonant) – and at its extreme, disruptive.

Allow me to define ‘being competent’ as not only having the capability to demonstrate requisite skills and knowledge at the  customer interface, it’s also about being competent at preparing yourself to be at your peak, to achieve the gravitas (sometimes called ‘traction’) you seek.

Author’s note: gravitas is something we can all achieve; it’s a result not a gift privy to a chosen few. Only 15% or so of salespeople achieve the ‘customer gravitas’ they seek, hence this book!

Let me add, the competence that customers attribute to you will also include an element of the perceived competence of the solutions you bring to the table, i.e. an acknowledgement of the potential of your solution’s value proposition. Put another way, if the customer has little faith in what you’re selling, even though they value your personal contribution, to what degree will you be invited to participate in the decision making process?

We’ve covered two of the three ‘Cs’ in the E=MC3 equation. A salesperson not only has to be competent in following ‘top sales processes’ (and have potentially ‘competent’ solutions); they need to be confident in their ability and motivated to follow those sales processes too. And still there’s one further factor that determines how effective you are (by seeing what’s really going on), a heightened sense of…


Top salespeople are unstintingly curious. For example, they love to be coached. They are very willing to learn how to become more effective at selling.

Top performers focus on working smarter, not harder, than ‘moderates’

You might ask, “Curious about what?” Answer: “Everything!”

Top salespeople probe below the surface of what’s going on – especially when forging business relationships. Like a metaphorical iceberg, they acknowledge that you only see about 15% above the surface; the obvious facts and logic by which a customer makes a decision. But they don’t stop there, they’re proactive to find the real passions and fears which will motivate or deter key stakeholders in the decision making process.

Curiosity is the sonar signal you emit to track changes on your ‘sales radar screen’. You track political, economic, sociological, technological and organisational developments as well as your competitors’ manoeuvres. At the deepest level, you’re tuning into changes in customers’ feelings, e.g. inspiration, motivation, confidence, sense of security, anger and most of all – trust and fear.

There’s more. You also need to be proactively curious about what might happen. I return to this later.

To summarise: selling is three parts mental/emotional to one part intellectual.

E=MC3, it’s not rocket science!

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author

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The Decisions You Make, Are They Borne of Love or Fear?

“We change the map of life itself by changing our attitude towards it.”

 from The Mind of the Druid by E G Howe

Mind of the Druid

(Probably the most profound book I’ve ever read. I’ve read it 4 times and I’m still trying to ‘get it!’)

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author

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TftD: Changing your Character, Changes your Life

ChangeMan1Image courtesy of Blaze Institute

…All that happens is the result of character; the only manner in which the destiny can be changed is to change the character…..

the chart of birth….is merely a map of character…..

(and) can be markedly altered in any direction desired.

CC Zain

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr
Author of Quick Guide: How Top Salespeople Sell, Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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TftD: The Paradox of Joy and Hurt

hurt happy“The person who hurts you is often the person you run to, in order to feel better.”

Image sourced from Moments Count

Shine on…!


Paul C Burr

Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul

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2012 – The Return to Oneness

2012 BoliviaThe Return

“Enough! I’ve had enough of winning and losing.

I can only exert a limited amount of power.

I can only spend a limited amount of money.

I can only create so much suffering before I kill off those over whom I am victorious.

 I can only suffer so much when I lose.

I have exhausted all the possibilities of winning and losing in the material world.

I now choose temperance.

I return to the harmony of opposites, the yin and yang, the will and imagination, to return to oneness.”

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Life’s Jigsaw – Fixety or Infinity

Sourced from

Existentialism: Life’s jigsaw has an infinite number of pieces, only if we restrict ourselves to adhering to the maxim of infinity.

Shine on…!
Paul C Burr

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