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Image by Andrea Kurucz

Shine on…!

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Paul C Burr, 

Author of Learn to Love and Be Loved in Return, 2012: a twist in the tail and Defrag your Soul.

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Mercury Steps Out of His Shadow in Scorpio

Mercury scorpioMercury, closest to Helios, the Sun King, affects us all.

The messenger of the gods, aka Hermes, brings wisdom but not always in the way you might expect, for He is also a trickster. He governs thinking, intellect and communications – and also rules computers, technology and travel.

Mercury went retrograde (Rx) at 2deg Scorpio on Oct 4 and journeyed back into Libra until Oct 25. From there He moved forward again to retrace His steps back to Scorpio and stepped out of his ‘shadow’ on Nov 10 – ie He got back to His starting place at 2 deg Scorpio.

Generally…. Mercury in Rx adversely affects communications, the interpretation of messages, creative thinking, new contracts, transportation, travel, mobiles, PC’s etc. It is not a good time generally until it at least He goes stationary to start any new contracts or liaisons – as our thinking is clouded.

In Libra, Mercury will encourage you to revisit areas out of balance or lacking truth. The areas where you are giving/receiving to little/too much; areas where you are lulling others or are being lulled; deceit; economic truths…. and so on.

The focus should be on the ‘re-‘ : Re-visit, re-think, re-vamp, re-live, re-connect, re-vise….

In Rx you will be given the chance to relive old experiences, situations etc. The ‘trick’ is to revise, ‘re-something’ where and when appropriate.

Mercury re- entered Scorpio during the first week of Nov. Scorpio the sign of death (Halloween – the end/death of the pagan year where everything dies back into the earth/underworld ruled by Pluto) – which leads to transformation and then rebirth.

Until Nov 27, now that Mercury is direct and out of its shadow, it is especially a good time to ‘kill off’ that (projects, situations, relationships) which is stultifying your creative thinking and intellect OR that which is borne of deceit.

Mercury shows (obligingly) you the wisdom of truth and then attempts to steal it. He can only succeed if you allow Him to.

Act from truth, love, compassion, patience, mindfulness and enthusiasm and you out-trick the trickster.

Image courtesy of Astrologer, Bill Attride

Shine on…!

/|\

Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Full Moon at 14 Degrees Taurus, 6 Nov 2014

Taurus moonTime to reflect:

  • Which projects, relationships or situations have you started that need a firmer footing?
  • What have you started or tried to start that hasn’t the grounding needed to get going?
  • Which red flags are waving at you? Put aside all anger, hurt, shame and fear – slow down, stop – see what and why the flags are waving before picking up speed again.
  • How much have you been hoarding; material things, feelings and thoughts that no longer serve a useful purpose? Release them.

Take action: look after the small matters relating to self and others – and Selena, the goddess of positive karma (at 15 deg Capricorn) will send you good vibes – perhaps in the form of sure footedness or financial security.

Image courtesy of Astrologer, Bill Attride

Shine on…!

/|\

Paul C Burr

Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author Facebook: Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Autumn Equinox, New Moon in Libra, Pluto Moves Forward in the Sky Again

crescent-moon-goddessTake a few moments to ‘harvest’ in all the new and enabling habits and developments in your inner world over the last 12 months.

Pluto in Capricorn has finished its back-tracking and now moves direct in the sky again. Your ‘digging up of old ground’ is now over. To the ancients (and hippies), ‘dig’ means think, see, get-it. Did you, can you, dig it?

Take stock as Pluto moves forward. Which lingering thoughts and habits no longer serve a useful purpose. Review those that you now wish to lay to rest.

Harvest: celebrate as you acknowledge the new and bid farewell to the old.

How can you bring more balance, truth and justice to your worlds, both outer and inner? The New Moon in Libra and Pluto offers you the opportunity to transform and begin anew.

Image courtesy of Susan Levitt

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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The War Between Not-love (Fear) and Love

A part-extract from my latest book: For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It), Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom, No 1, Parts I & II

“In the beginning was the logos, borne of love, Lilithian Love”

Lilithian Love, that which created ‘what is’, the present tense was later split into duality; ‘what is not’, the past tense, born from the present tense, is created. The mythical love between Lilith and Adam is ‘what is’. Eve, the past tense, the etymological root of ‘evil’, replaced Lilith who (according which legend) was either cast out or escaped into the wilderness. The war between the past and present began.

lilith defeated.23.AD.10.2dfd

But which is Lilith?

Image from Voice of the Prophetic Blogspot

But the war that takes place around us mirrors the war within us – between the past and the present, between not-love (fear) and love.

Love is divine. All that is not divine is not love. Shame, anger, sadness and fear are not love, not divine, nor are they borne of love. They dwell in the past or future, not the now. They reside in the head not the heart. They exist to be released, not conquered or embraced. And when you release them, nothing holds you back from your journey beyond their illusory boundaries, to love, truth and oneness.

From my book, Defrag your Soul - define the word ‘divine’ as meaning ‘the highest spiritual influence of humankind’.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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What do you want to give to and receive from a relationship – SPIRITUALLY?

Extract from a self-help exercise in Part II of the newly published paperback version of For The Love of Lilith How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself to It).

Paperback Cover

Personal change/alchemy applies a combination of four forces (which correlate to the four occultist elements of creation and four houses of the Tarot):

  1. Spiritual – Fire and Wands
  2. Emotional – Water  and Cups
  3. Physical/Material – Earth  and Pentacles or Disks
  4. Intellectual – Air and Swords

(In this extract I focus on the first aspect.)

1. Spiritual: (Fire/Wands)

  • How important is it that you and your partner relate to one another spiritually? (Think of ‘spiritual’ as the highest level of consciousness or wakefulness a human can aspire to.)
  • What sense of purpose do you want the relationship to hold for you? What do you want you and your partner to create together and individually – for what purpose?
  • What image does this sense of purpose hold for you? [By ‘image’, I mean something that you can imagine quickly and mindfully – to keep your thoughts, intentions, actions and words in line with the purpose of the relationship – for example: a waltz, a pair of loaded guns, a yin-yang symbol where the inner female is present in the male, and the inner male is present in the female, two comedians, sugar and spice (and all things nice!), and so on.]
  • What inner blocks [sources of anger, (toxic) shame, hurt or fear] do you want to release?
  • What leaks (excessive and distractive habits that cause detriment to your livelihood) do you want to shore up?
  • What inner qualities do you want to bring (more) to the surface and express in your behaviour? For example: love, passion, creativity, fun – loving, compassion, patience, self esteem, inner security, inner harmony, assertiveness, motivation, competence, curiosity, good manners, and eventually completeness!
  • How will you demonstrate these inner qualities? What will you be doing differently or more of, individually or together?

Continued in the booklet…

Now available from Createspace and Amazon US & UK. Kindle versions now available from Amazon USUK and other regions. epub/ipad/iphone, kindle and further electric versions available from Smashwords.

The above inner qualities should integrate with the emotional, physical and intellectual qualities you seek to share.

 

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Forgiveness Is More than Something You Do; It’s Who You Are – extract from For The Love of Lilith…

Herein follows a short extract from For The Love of Lilith & How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach yourself  To It)

Lilith Cover No 1

We are encouraged in western convention to ask for forgiveness and forgive others ‘who trespass against us’.
Nothing is random. You attract everything that happens to you. (If you don’t subscribe to this notion then act as if it were true for now and practise self-forgiveness as prescribed below. You’ll find it self-empowering.) If ‘something untoward’ happens to you, you attracted it for a reason. If you’re going to forgive anyone, start by forgiving yourself for attracting that ‘something untoward’ into your life in the first place. Even when I understood this, I still got the wrong end of the stick for a while.
I used to say something like, “What I did was wrong. I’m due (or it’s) karmic retribution. In time I hope I can forgive myself.”
Here’s the question. Which part of me is to (self-) forgive which other part of me? Which part of me has the right? Which part of me has the desire? Not the heart, it doesn’t judge. Like the sun, the heart shines on all. If the heart doesn’t judge, the notion of forgiving myself for doing ‘something bad’ is non-existent, in the heart that is.
Conventional self-forgiveness (‘good’ forgiving ‘bad’) is nothing more than a head trip. It’s all in the mind. It’s perhaps a start in the right direction. You may wish to forgive yourself or someone else with good intention. But if your forgiving is borne of a moralistic judgement it’s not from the heart and thus fundamentally flawed.
Real forgiveness is ‘being’ as if the thing that which was untoward never occurred in the first place. Forgiveness is more than something you do; it’s who you are – in your thoughts, intentions, actions when you operate from the heart, from spirit.
That’s what being in the present, moment-by-moment, actualises: self-forgiveness, free from the past, free from fear, free to be who you really are, spirit in human form, light (hu-man means ‘light being’), love.
And when you are love, being love, guess what? You free yourself to choose.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Friendly (Psychic) Vampires – What to do when your buddy drains your energy

This is a combination of three extracts from my forthcoming book,

For The Love of Lilith
&
How to Put Love into Practice (and Non-attach Yourself To It)
Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom Series, No 1, Parts I and II

Front Cover Symbol

 Illustration by Andrea Kurucz

You might start to experience feeling drained in the company of certain people whom you have known for some time. By and large, you’re used to spending extended periods of time with them. You may be doing or talking about ordinary day-to-day things with them. Yet for some reason their company starts to drain your energy. What’s happening?

Unbeknownst to you both, they are tapping into your chi and taking it for themselves. At a subconscious level they want your energy. Your wariness is not activated because you enjoy their company. After a period of time and for no apparent reason, you may experience an anxiety attack or feel tired. You don’t see it coming and they don’t know that they are depleting your life-force.

It occurred two or three times with each friendly vampire I know before I noticed what was happening. If you notice an ‘attack’ happening to you, find some activity, on your own, every 2-3 hours, to repair your energy levels, e.g. meditation, exercise or tai chi. And perhaps, see your friendly vamps less often until you are strong enough to withstand any attack.

Leaks feel like small ‘port holes’ in your body. I had a pair in my back, positioned roughly where my kidneys are. During and after a psychic attack, the ‘port holes’ were created by what, I imagined to be, a pair of teeth would feel like once they’ve sunk into your skin. I’ve also had another pair just below my cranium at the back of my skull.

I say “had” because my task was and yours is to…

Shore up the chi-leaks and clean up: cleanse and erase the port holes.

Here’s technique I came up with to help myself. It took me about six months to shore up the leak holes through which my friendly vamps drained my  chi. If you use it I hope it will  alleviate any discomfort and provide you with a wealth of intuitive information (like it did for me).

Self-help to Release Blocks, Shore Up Leaks and Erase Port Holes

In practical terms if you feel you may have been ‘attacked’ (You will anger, hurt, shame, fear or perhaps drained of energy), scan your body. Notice where you feel the negative emotion. For example, when hurt badly I feel a block in the centre of my chest, and when stressed I get a block about four inches higher, in the centre of my sternum.

1. Close your eyes and take two or three deep breaths. Regulate your breathing to a count of 4 on each inhalation and exhalation.

2. As you exhale, ‘breathe light’ into the affected part of your body through your Third Eye or Brow Centre, just above and between your eyebrows until some level of composure returns to you.

That upon which light shines becomes that light
St Paul

3. The more you practise, the stronger your imagination, the quicker the time to releasing the negative emotion so that a sense of composure fills your body.

Composure is the ability to neither feed nor fight the most negative of emotions (anger, hurt, shame, and fear) when under duress.

Recite an affirmation to help you avoid feeding or fighting the negative emotion. For example, I recite the phrases…

I place the word ‘stillness’ in my mind.

I place the word ‘peace’ behind my heart.

I place the word ‘power’ in my abdomen.

… as I shine light on to the affected part of my body.

Allow any information stored in the affected area of your body to travel back up the ray of light. With patience you may receive insight into the nature of unconscious fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs you hold about yourself.

Once you receive such wisdom you have the opportunity to act on it. Notice, for example, where and how you over-react to situations. Make the linkages with lingering fears and pacts, dysfunctional assumptions, and limiting core beliefs.

You can place these issues into imaginary bubbles in front of you and shine light into the bubbles as well. Notice any changes in the appearance of the bubbles as you do this and any corresponding changes that go on in your body and mind.

(End of blog)

Please feedback your experience using the above technique over a period of time. Many thanks.

 

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Love is Not-love Until… (A Magician I Should Turn To Be) – a slightly revised version of a previous meditation on unrequited love

Love is Not-love Until…

The battles I have fought to have you choose love.
I have mustered the elements in vain.
With swords, wands and wealth,
I hold out the chalice of love to seal our bond.
Yet I cannot enchant your will
To drink its golden promise.

Time after time, we kiss, we embrace, we fear, we part.
Later, we come together again.
Drawn like moths to the flames in one another’s hearts;
Again we kiss, we embrace, we fear…
The dark, a-void between us, too great to span.
I’ve stood close to its edge, too fearful to jump
Into the shadows where lies a monster,
Borne from an age gone by.
Resurrected within us, through childhood memories,
Too dark to look back on, too hurtful to recall.

The monster, from Past, feeds on our fears.
Our karmic pact to slay the beast remains incomplete.
And so the monster returns to Future
Which presents itself to us now.

At last, my soul cries “enough!”
I descend the depths where my light shines dimly.
I hope you’ll join me but I, resolved,
Commit to love you regardless.

I have wanted you, as I have wanted no other.
I have attracted you as I have attracted no other
I have repelled you, as I have repelled no other.
And…
I love you, as I have loved no other.

You love me, as you have loved no other.
And still…
We cannot be as one until the beast is slain

In the smoke below, the beast takes form.
In its gut burns anger.
Its throat chokes with fear.
In its head hangs shame
And in its heart festers hurt, a wound that will not heal.

I approach with sword and shield
And the beast is gone.
Again… and it is gone.
Again… and it is gone.
I wait silently.

Into the black I see a face, familiar.
I lay down my weapons of convention.
The billows part to reveal a mirror.
Before me stands Past;
A heavy yolk I have carried all my life.
Childhood grief pierces my heart.
As I lift the yolk to bear its weight,
All conflict unresolved wounds my body.
My mind panics. I want to cast off my mantle
And run away, like so many times before.
Yet I remain still and empty my mind.
I create a circle of light to protect me
And look to the Light within.

I see through Past’s deception;
To rob me of golden Future now,
The present moment eternal.
I stand on the shoreline of unconsciousness
I hear voices but no words of wisdom
I see with no eyes
I feel without touch.
The Light fills my body
The anger calms
The hurt heals
The shame lifts
I shine the light…
Towards the dark door to Future.
At which I hear ‘the knock’.
I am tempted to flee again,
Back from whence I came, to Past,
Who beckons me to turn back from what Future offers
Whilst my innermost fear locks the door tight.
Instead I choose courage.
To become fearless; I turn the lock
To greet the stranger without.

Before me stands an angel.
I bid her welcome.
She dines with me and I with her as…
She reveals the illusion of my fear.
I see all that remains incomplete;
Core beliefs I allow to deceive myself;
False assumptions that ward off love, not danger.
I feel a fool, pathetic.

The angel speaks.

“Acknowledge that Future reveals all that you do not love about yourself,
Given to it by Past.
Yet Future’s other gift is Present.
The gift to complete all that is incomplete.
Love is complete. All that is not complete, incomplete, is not Love.
Present is now. All that is not now is not present. It is illusion. It is not.
And yet you allow what is not to determine your path.
Instead choose what you want, ‘success’. Future will bring it to you after you have completed the incomplete; release the fears by which you shield yourself from ‘not-success’.)
Venture towards ‘success’ and ‘not-success’ together. Bid Future to bring you your fears. The Journey to Love requires that you release them.
Then let go of success and not-success; focus only on the Journey.
Practise love, self-love first, and thence for all.
Practise compassion, self-compassion first, and thence for all.
Practise patience, first with self, then others
Practise completeness, by releasing all fear from self.
As your fear of ‘not-success’ dispels then Future presents no more fear.
Not-success disappears, leaving only ‘success’.
You create success out of the nothingness of no fear.
This is how the Ancients practised magic.
A warrior is brave, fearless, prepared for battle.
A magician is wise, fearlessness, sees through the illusion of fears past; no need for bravery anymore.
Your purpose is to shine the Love; the Light that you, complete, are.
Trust yourself.
Trust the process (and you travel in wisdom)
That others cannot see yet.
Yet you see, become a seer,
Shine the light for others to see, for themselves.”

Our meal complete, the angel leaves.
I ascend from the (a)void and see you close, to its edge.
I make no motion to encourage you my love.
The choice to meet your angel is yours and yours alone.
And I shall love you regardless.

 

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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St Valentine’s Full Moon in Leo

Full moon

Tonight you have the opportunity to cross the bridge to your inner world and see your true emotions. Bathe in the essence of who you really are, knowing that the darkness contains nothing (to fear) but unlived possibilities. Only fear (= not-love) stops these possibilities from becoming a reality.
Shine light into the shadows (i.e. every time you sense fear).

Commit to the ‘Journey to Love’ without knowing where it will take you.
That upon which light shines becomes that light.

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
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The Moon Goddess, Nanna, shines from her throne in Cancer, in her full glory tonight.

full moon in  cancerFull-Moon in Cancer

The Moon goddess, Nanna, rules the constellation of Cancer. She shines in her full glory tonight. Expect emotions to run high – be they of love or not love.

Cancer brings out the loving, nurturing and mothering instinct in us all.  Nanna (Moon) and Gaia (Earth) are in full accord. They share their duty willingly and abundantly to love us all. Father Sun shines his light to bring the Earth, Moon and Humankind together, come together.

Beware, the Moon has a dark side. Should you ignore love for her or Mother earth, she can remonstrate and your emotional development may take a hard road.

DSC06050Tonight of all nights and every night – practise love, be enthusiastic and patient, be compassionate, create harmony, complete what is incomplete. In doing so you pay homage to Nanna, who’s sole purpose is to reflect back to you what is incomplete in your life – i.e. that which is not love.

BE LOVE.

 Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
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Paradise Is An Inside Job.

Fools ParadiseWho’s fooling whom?

Judge not the paradise of fools.
For their paradise is not yours.
Even if only a fool would find joy there.
Let them step naively (knavely).
Let your and their joy be one.

(Inspired by Bertrand Russell)

(Image of Tepooka, Edinburgh Festival)

Shine on…!
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Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
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Full Moon in Gemini – 17 December 2013

Should I stay or should I go?

DSC05663

At about 9.36am GMT  there’s a full Moon in Gemini.

Reflect, especially over the last two weeks, on all the things over which you have mixed emotions, and in Gemini, leave you in two minds.

“The should I stay or should I go?” syndrome.

What does you heart feel?
What does your head say?

Bring them together. Allow them to meet at your throat chakra? Focus and you shall reveal what you fear about the situation. Release the fear and the answer will open up in front of you.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
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ps I love The Clash

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In Your Business (or Personal) Life, What is Mindfulness?

Extracts from Quick Guide V: How to Apply Mindfulness to Business.

Front Cover 8.5x5.25

 Mindfulness

Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Allow me to add my own business related definition.

Mindfulness is responding in the present moment without reacting through anger, shame, hurt or (the most likely feeling) fear. Instead it’s about having faith-in-self to use your intuition to respond with passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, compassion, harmony, and timing to complete whatever is incomplete in your approach to business relationships.


Mindfulness
Approach

If you are mindful of, moment by moment, you…

  • Demonstrate faith-in self, passion, curiosity to learn, composure, patience, and compassion.
  • Avoid both panicking and reacting out of anger, shame, hurt, and fear – instead, under-react.
  • Create harmony and resonance to nurture The Master Mind.

A Master Mind may be created through the bringing together or blending, in a spirit of perfect harmony, of two or more minds. Out of this harmonious blending the chemistry of the mind creates a third mind which be appropriated and used by one or all of the individual minds.
from The Law of Success, Napoleon Hill

  • Complete incompletions (when the future presents them to you and in the past you may have reacted negatively) to time.

Then, with these intentions, actions and qualities you apply…

The Mystique

You will induce everything that’s incomplete in your approach to your business relationship. This is the future’s gift to the present moment. You are given the opportunity to rise above anger, shame, hurt, and fear (borne of the past tense).

When you complete anything in your business approach that is incomplete, it travels into the past and need never return. If you react negatively, i.e. it remains incomplete, it travels into the past before returning to the future – so that you attract the same source of anger, shame, hurt, and fear once again.

The goals of nurturing healthy business relationships may be financial success and kudos but these things are not the purpose.

The real purpose of any relationship, business or otherwise, is the development of self (consciousness) to be the very best at what you do.

When you achieve the above, the goals and purpose become one. You cannot fail because there is no one better and you have no fear of not-success – because…

The Mystique
Genuinely having no fear tells you that not-success no longer exists.

There’s a corollary to this. To release your fear you need to approach not-success. Which is why I encourage you to…

Include not-success as well as success in what you want.

Get it?

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
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How to Track your Commitment to a Relationship – Personal or Business

A subset of an exercise, on building outcomes for a relationship, from my book…

The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love).

Mystique

Pick a relationship you’re in, business or personal…

Bring into focus how your relationship has been of late. Answer and write down the answers to the following questions and responses to instructions…

  • Give yourself a score of 0 to 10, out of 10, for level of satisfaction with the relationship where 10 equates to 100% – “The relationship is exactly how I want it to be”, 5 equates to “Half and half” or “So so”, 0 equates to “Not at all” and so on.
  • What has been your input to making the relationship how you want it to be?
  • Give yourself a score of 0 to 10, out of 10, for your level of commitment to the relationship where 10 equates to 100%, 5 equates to 50%, 0 equates to nothing at all and so on.
  • Track your level of commitment to the relationship on a weekly basis.

You raise your level of commitment by raising how much (energy) you give to and receive from the relationship materially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually – as long as what you give or receive is not borne of anger, hurt, shame or fear.

Old scale

The relationship is in balance when you receive the same amount of ‘energy’ as you give.

The relationship gets to exactly where both parties want it to be when both rate their satisfaction with it as a ‘10’. A ‘10 all round’ is where both parties are fully committed to the relationship, they both give and receive 100% which means they are both 100% satisfied.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

Image courtesy of newyorkparkingticket.com

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Mindfulness Case Study: Unrequited Love

MystiqueExtract from The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love) from Amazon US, UK and worldwide.

Pre-reading to explain some of the terms used, see blog, The Game of Life

Client Case Study of Unrequited Love – Part 4 of 4; Vulnerabilities, Repeating Patterns, Frozen Trauma, Activating Event, Core Beliefs and Dysfunctional Assumptions

My client  recognised the ‘cat and mouse’ nature of the repeating behavioural patterns in a relationship he had with “someone who loves me as a friend and no more”. He would attempt to remain mindful and stay courteously detached when in his partner’s company. He would laugh and joke with her but would not allow himself to get carried away and be overtly affectionate with her – which is what he wanted to do as a natural course of events. She would often hold his hand or touch his neck and shoulder. He would return that affection but only briefly. He feared he would lose his mindfulness and expose any vulnerabilities he held about himself.

After say an hour or so of this ‘cat and mouse’ game, his partner would catch him off guard. For example, she would sit next to him, place her hands between and squeeze his legs half way between his knees and genitalia and then direct his hand to the same position between her legs. She always held his hands firmly so she could direct them to parts of her body where she felt comfortable being touched. My client respected this but in that moment of physical tenderness, he lost his state of mindfulness and yearned that she would allow the touching to continue and become more intimate. But she would never allow that.

As soon as he allowed this state of yearning to arise, his partner would kiss him and hug him several times and leave quickly. He would then feel saddened by her departure. Sometimes that sadness would turn to anger, not towards his partner, but towards himself – for allowing himself to get “sucked into the situation of unrequited yearning” again.

Because of these continuing setbacks, he would question his own motives and whether he was conning himself or not that he really was practising mindfulness. He would question whether mindfulness itself was valid or just a psychologist/spiritualist fad that people have cottoned on to – like The Law of Attraction; of which he would think to himself, “Everybody’s buying books about it and doing it but I don’t see many people attracting the things they really want!”

My client knew his intentions were good and wanted only the best for both he and his partner. He kept going. He remembered to practise patience with and compassion for himself. He waited consciously for the wisdom of what was incomplete in him to arrive. And when it came, he realised that it could only arrive under duress. He would have to attract it wantonly and no-one could help him in this matter.

One night, his partner announced that she was fed up with her life and was going away to France for a week with a view to emigrating there as soon as she could. My client got very upset in the moment but kept his cool. After his partner had left, my client realised that he was still attached to the successful outcomes, he’d defined for the relationship, and that he had to let go of this attachment. He had to stop succumbing to his desires whilst still loving his partner and releasing the anger (the sign of an incompletion) that kept welling up in him. He realised that he’d lost touch with his purpose (the journey to completeness or love) for the relationship and become attached to its outcome instead.

As he ‘gazed’ at the repeating behavioural patterns, he saw the same fear of rejection in his partner that he saw in himself – and the many relationships before her that all had the same ‘cat and mouse’ pattern to them. He realised how he had attracted a series of relationships throughout his life that were all destined to end traumatically in rejection after a short while. It was as if he was seeking this trauma subliminally because of a subconscious programme running within him. (This type of repeating pattern is sometimes referred to as a frozen trauma; frozen in time; frozen in the past tense.)

My client sought the source of his repeating traumas. Under therapy, he went back to his childhood and kept going back in time until he reached the very beginning.

He was two months in the womb. His subconscious mind became alert to his mother not wanting a child. His mother was rejecting him before he had even been born. This was the source of his frozen trauma in time and he had been living out a reaction to this rejection all his life.

Inspired by druidic wisdom…

Life requires wholeness. The subconscious mind prompts the attraction of events and people who mirror what is incomplete within us. Some of us try to escape from this ‘requirement’ by…

1. Lapsing into a state of depression so that we won’t even want to get out bed in the morning to face life.

2. Building a psychological shield to protect ourselves from repeating a trauma, in this case ‘rejection’, i.e. we deny ourselves the facility to love and be loved wholly for fear of rejection.

Or

3. Distracting ourselves from thinking about the incompleteness in our lives through drink, drugs, gambling, sex, mindless TV and the like.

The only alternative is to journey the road to wholeness, completeness, love. All other roads lead back this road eventually. In this, we have no choice.

My client could now see more clearly how his partner was acting out on his behalf the frozen trauma he first had with his mother. A trauma (incompleteness) that he still hadn’t resolved within himself. In seeing (becoming a seer) he had already taken a major step and readied himself to take the next one.

Together we sought the activating event by which my client started the relationship patterns that would reflect his frozen trauma in time. He was 13 years old and earned pocket money gardening. He attracted the attention of a 32 year old spinster with whom he entered into a sexual relationship that lasted for three years. He fulfilled his nascent adolescent desire for sex but, he also felt very guilty after every recreational encounter with the woman. He felt he “had sinned before God”.

Yet it was only now that he saw the subliminal reason for participating in underage sex. He felt that he could control the woman. He could say how, when and where they came together. And if she were to reject him, he held the threat of reporting her actions to the authorities.

My client saw how, following this activating event, he (even with what he thought was good intention) would use generosity to woo, or coldness to threaten, women to get what he wanted from their relationship and avoid rejection. And he had used both strategies on his existing partner to no avail. She refused him intimacy because she had her own holding patterns running. And yet my client and his partner both talked of the special connection between them and their love for one another.

My client had now taken a further step, under therapy, to unearth the wisdom of the incompleteness he was hiding from himself. As he sat in silence, I got my client to focus on where and how the prospect of releasing himself from his frozen trauma affected his physical body. He described the feeling of locked or trapped energy, as he pointed to the centre of his chest, half way up his sternum.

I got my client to shine light into the area and asked him what core beliefs (about self) did he see or hear that blocked the flow of energy (chi) through his body. He spoke of four things: two core beliefs and two dysfunctional assumptions (about others) with which he allowed to hold himself back…

1. All relationships and agreements break eventually (dysfunctional assumption).

2. I am unworthy of a lasting relationship (core belief).

3. Women are out to hurt me (dysfunctional assumption).

4. I must have the power to be able to hurt them first. With this power I can threaten or control them (core belief).

I reminded my client that…

A belief is merely a thought that we hold true for a long time. It is no more true or false than any other thought. A thought is not a fact and, as Eckhart Toll reminds us, “You are not your thoughts”.

My client now had all the information he needed at his disposal to avoid him getting “sucked in” to the same old behavioural patterns he’d been subjecting himself to. Was this ‘game over?’ No. He still had to do the work mindfully to avoid reacting to his partner’s ‘cat and mouse’ behaviours. Instead he determined to show her love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and continue to work on his own completeness.

His partner still had her own holding patterns to work on but it was not within his power or right to change her. It was within his power to change himself only, i.e. change the relationship to the relationship he had with his partner. And by replacing ‘reaction’ with ‘action’, he was prepared to trust himself, the process of mindfulness and his journey to love, regardless of whether that love was requited or not.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Magic is…

Fire heart…Something created out of nothing, the nothingness created from having no fear. When you release all your fear, all that remains is joy and wellbeing. Can there be anything more magical to life than feeling 100% well and happy?

Extract from a forthcoming booklet, currently 3rd in my pipeline (working title), How to Concoct Love in your Life, the first in a series of Quick Guides to Ancient Wisdom.

Image from http://wallpapersa.blogspot.co.uk/

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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Tell Dr Who, “The Perseids have arrived near planet Earth!”

“After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang out…”

The Perseids: this shower of “shooting stars” does not peak until 12 August, activity is already underway. And it is a great year to observe the Perseids because moonlight will not interfere to drown them out.

As with all meteor showers, the meteors are produced when the Earth ploughs through a stream of dust left by a comet orbiting the Sun and they flare in our atmosphere.

They are called Perseids because, if you trace their streaks backwards, they appear to radiate from a point in the constellation of Perseus. This is an effect of perspective, like straight rail tracks converging to a distant point, and in fact the meteors are travelling on parallel paths.

The comet responsible for the Perseids was Swift-Tuttle. The dust particles in space, called meteoroids, and about the size of grains of sand, are now spread right along the swarm’s orbit. This means we see Perseids every August. They are a reliable shower, always rich in activity, although the numbers vary according to how dense the orbiting stream is at the point where we intersect.

The stream is broad too, with the first Perseids appearing in our skies in late July and the final stragglers falling well into the second half of August.

Where to look? The whole sky. The shooting stars will seem to come from the constellation Perseus, in the northeastern sky. But they may appear anywhere as quick streaks of light.

Where not to look? Do not look at the moon or anything bright. Your eyes need to get used to the dark. The full moon will cut down the number of meteors likely to be seen see. By dawn the moon will be low in the western sky so look east.
Where should I go? Anywhere dark with a nice expanse of open sky. Leave the cities if you can.

When to watch? Meteor showers are best after always best after midnight but because of the full moon it’s best to try the hour or two before dawn.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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A Meditation on Unrequited Love

Love is Not-love Until…

AngelThe battles I have fought to have you choose love.

I have mustered the elements in vain.

With swords, wands and wealth,

I hold out the chalice of love to seal our bond.

Yet I cannot enchant your will,

To drink its golden promise.

Time after time, we kiss, we embrace, we fear, we part.

Later, we come together again.

Drawn like moths to the flames in one another’s hearts;

Again we kiss, we embrace, we fear…

The dark, a void between us, too great to span.

I’ve stood close to its edge, too fearful to jump,

Into the shadows where lies a monster,

Borne from an age gone by.

Resurrected within us, through childhood memories,

Too dark to look back, too hurtful to recall.

The monster, from Past, feeds on our fears.

Our karmic pact to slay the beast remains incomplete.

And so the monster returns to Future

Which presents itself to us now.

My soul cries “enough!”

I choose to descend the depths where my light shines dimly.

I hope you’ll join me but I, resolved,

Commit to love you regardless.

I have wanted you, as I have wanted no other.

I have attracted you as I have attracted no other

I have repelled you, as I have repelled no other.

And…

I love you, as I have loved no other.

You love me, as you have loved no other.

And still…

We cannot be as one until the beast is slain

In the smoke below the beast takes form.

In its gut burns anger.

Its throat chokes with fear.

In its head hangs shame

And in its heart festers hurt, a wound that will not heal.

I approach with sword and shield

And beast is gone.

Again… and it is gone.

Again… and it is gone.

I wait silently.

Out of the black appears a face, familiar.

I lay down my weapons of convention.

The bellows part to reveal a mirror.

Before me stands Past;

A heavy yolk I have carried all my life.

Childhood grief pierces my heart.

As I lift the yolk to bear its weight,

All conflict unresolved wounds my body.

My mind panics. I want to cast off my mantle

And run away, like so many times before.

Yet I remain still and empty my mind.

I create a circle of light to protect me

And look to the Light within.

I see through Past’s deception;

To rob me of golden Future now,

The present moment eternal.

I stand on the shoreline of unconsciousness

I hear voices but no words of wisdom

I see with no eyes

I feel without touch.

The Light fills my body

The anger calms

The hurt heals

The shame lifts

I shine the light…

Towards the dark door to Future.

At which I hear ‘the knock’.

I am tempted to flee again,

Back from whence I came, to Past,

Who beckons me to turn back from what Future offers.

Whilst my innermost fear locks the door tight.

Instead I choose courage.

To become fearless; I turn the lock

To greet the stranger without.

Before me stands an angel.

I bid her welcome.

She dines with me and I with her as…

She reveals the illusion of my fear.

I see all that remains incomplete

Core beliefs I allow to deceive myself

False assumptions that ward off love, not danger.

I feel a fool, pathetic, as the angel speaks.

“Acknowledge that Future reveals all that you do not love about yourself,

Given to it by Past.

Yet Future’s other gift is Present.

The gift to complete all that is incomplete.

Love is complete. All that is not complete, incomplete, is not Love.

Present is now. All that is not now is not present. It is illusion. It is not.

And yet you allow what is not to determine your path.

Instead choose what you want, ‘success’. Future will bring it to you after you have completed the incomplete; release the fears by which you shield yourself from ‘not-success’.)

Venture towards ‘success’ and ‘not-success’ together. Bid Future to bring you your fears. The Journey to Love requires that you release them.

Then let go of success and not-success; focus only on the Journey.

Practise love, self-love first and thence for all.

Practise compassion, self-compassion first and thence for all.

Practise patience, first with self then others

Practise completeness, by releasing all fear from self.

As your fear of ‘not-success’ dispels then Future presents no more fear.

Not-success disappears, leaving only ‘success’.

You create success out of the nothingness of no fear.

This is how the Ancients practised magic.

A warrior is brave, fearless, prepared for battle.

A magician is wise, fearlessness, sees through the illusion of fears past; no need for bravery anymore.

Your purpose is to shine the Love; the Light that you, complete, are.

Trust yourself.

Trust the process and you travel in wisdom

That others cannot see yet.

Yet you see, become a seer,

Shine the light for others to see, for themselves.”

Our meal complete the angel leaves.

I ascend from the avoid and see you close, at its edge.

I make no motion to encourage you my love.

The choice to meet your angel is yours and yours alone.

And I shall love you regardless.

Image courtesy of rapgenius

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook:
Beowulf (>16,000 followers)

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The Mystique to the Game of Life

IMG_1662Extracts from my forthcoming booklet (now in draft form, being proof-read):

The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love)

#Mindfulness in Relationships Series, No 1

Have you ever loved someone so dearly and have that love not returned? The other person shares everything apart from their love. They refuse to surrender themselves to the process of love; the unconditional surrender of freedom to the commitment that love requires.

Have you ever felt sick to the stomach over unrequited love?

Have you ever yearned in your heart or loins for someone when your head is telling you…

  • “This is absolutely the wrong partner for you”?
  • “Bottom line, she/he just doesn’t fancy you”?
  • “You and him/her, it’s never going to happen”?

Or something like

  • “She/he simply doesn’t love you the way you love her/him”?

Your head judges, your loins desire sexual fulfilment and your heart seeks to share love. I call this the Head, Heart and Loins dynamics of a relationship. When all three are aligned, within and between partners, their relationship is probably in good shape to meet the outcomes they seek. (The same holds true for a personal friendship whether there is a sexual element to that friendship or not.) I speak neither of good nor bad, nor moralise. I speak of the process of achieving a purpose through the journey to the goals you set for the relationship, be those goals profound or for short term recreation.

Mindfulness, sometimes referred to as being present in the moment, is the process of creating love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness in the moment (by moment) – regardless of whether these vibrations are returned or not. It takes mindfulness to fulfil a relationship’s true purpose, which curiously can be achieved whether the goals are achieved or not.

For example, in movies and songs I’ve heard the phrase, “You complete me”. Well if someone’s purpose is to become complete and they set a goal to find someone who completes them – what happens should they achieve completeness? They no longer need someone else for that purpose.

Other people don’t complete you. You find ‘completeness’ through the journey to ‘completeness’; you find ‘oneness’.

Mindfulness is the vehicle by which to travel the journey.

Shine on…!
/|\
Paul C Burr
Business/Personal Performance Coach & Author
Facebook: Beowulf
(>16,000 followers)

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